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Tag: Money in the Bank

POST-FULLY LOADED OFFICIAL RESULTS

Posted on by Chinito Henson

CLEVELAND, OH — In a night defined by “Stiff Style” brutality and high-stakes psychological warfare, the Gund Arena bore witness to a seismic shift in the WFC hierarchy. From the technical masterclass of the “Angle Family” to the terrifying composure of the #1 P4P King, Fully Loaded was more than a Pay-Per-View—it was a declaration of war.

[[ THE MAIN EVENT: EDGE ASCENDS THE LADDER OF OPPORTUNITY ]]

In a 4-star ladder war that pushed four of the world’s elite to their physical limits, Edge emerged as the second “Mr. Money in the Bank” in history. The Toronto native survived a mid-air collision with Rob Van Dam and a desperate surge from Prince Naseem Hamed to unhook the briefcase.

However, the talk of the locker room remains Hisoka. The #1 P4P King, competing for the second time in the night, refused to utilize his signature “Nen” abilities or playing cards, opting for a “Pure” performance. Analysts are divided: was the Magician bored, or was he silently observing the new “Opportunist” from the corner of the ring? Regardless, Edge now holds the ultimate weapon heading into SummerSlam.

[[ THE CHAMPION’S CRUSH: THE ROCK REPELLS THE UFC INVASION ]]

The WFC Heavyweight Division Championship remained around the waist of The Rock, but the cost was high. In a mandatory defense against UFC Open-Weight Champion Ken Shamrock, the “Brahma Bull” was pushed to the brink of submission.

Shamrock’s “World’s Most Dangerous” technical wrestling nearly snapped the Champion’s ankle, but a desperate Spinebuster-to-Rock Bottom transition paved the way for a statement-making People’s Elbow. Post-match, Oscar De La Hoya was seen watching from a private suite, smiling as The Rock limped to the back. The “Golden Boy” clearly likes what he sees ahead of their August clash.

[[ GRUDGE MATCH OF THE YEAR: THE SAMOAN BULLDOZER MEETS THE MAGICIAN ]]

In what many are calling a 4.5-star “Instant Classic,” Hisoka defeated Umaga in a BMF Grudge Match that defied logic. Umaga proved he belongs in the Top 5, countering a Hisoka Moonsault with elite reflexes that shocked the Cleveland crowd. While Hisoka ultimately secured the pinfall, he did so without his trademark tricks—a move that Steve Blackman suggests was a “test of the monster’s chin.” Umaga walked out to a standing ovation; Hisoka walked out with a bloody lip and a sinister grin.

[[ THE RETIREMENT: THE END OF THE “BIG SEXY” ERA ]]

The “Invasion” has lost its spine. In a Career-Threatening match, Goldberg absolutely dismantled Kevin Nash with a Jackhammer that echoed throughout the arena. Nash, a cornerstone of the “Old Guard,” is effectively de-listed from the WFC active roster. With Scott Hall suspended and Nash retired, the era of the “Kliq” in WFC appears to be over, leaving a power vacuum for the “New Breed” to fill.

[[ THE FULLY LOADED SCOREBOARD ]]

MATCH WINNER METHOD RATING
MITB Ladder Match Edge Briefcase Retrieval ⭐⭐⭐⭐
WFC Heavyweight Title The Rock (c) Pinfall (People’s Elbow) ⭐⭐⭐⭐
BMF Grudge Match Hisoka Pinfall ⭐⭐⭐⭐½
Steel Cage (Grudge) Kurt Angle Pinfall (Book End) ⭐⭐⭐
Steel Cage (Undercard) Shelton Benjamin Cage Escape ⭐⭐⭐½
Retirement Match Goldberg Pinfall (Jackhammer) ⭐⭐⭐¼

THE “ROGAN” RONDOWN—OCTAGON INTERVIEWS FROM DALLAS!

Posted on by Maria Cristina Aguillera

Yo! To complete our “Old School Combat” vibe for this PPV, I’ve got the transcripts from the post-fight Octagon interviews. Forget the standard locker room promos—Joe Rogan was in the ring, mic in hand, looking like a kid in a candy store. He was obsessed with the physics, the “high-level” techniques, and the sheer violence.

Here is how Joe broke it down with the winners (and a few stunned losers) immediately after the bells rang.

[[ 1. OPENING: 8-MAN MONEY IN THE BANK ]]

(Joe is standing with a triumphant Steven Seagal, while medical staff help Agatom in the background.)

JOE ROGAN: > “I’m here with the winner, Steven Seagal. Steven, that was absolute, high-level chaos. You were observing from the outside, utilizing what looked like incredible spatial awareness before moving in. But man, the chair! You grabbed that steel chair and just went to work. Was that a pre-planned martial arts strategy or pure survival instinct?”

SEAGAL: > “It’s about the flow of energy, Joe. The chair is just an extension of my arm…”

JOE ROGAN: > “It’s insane! And look at the replay! Zulu Jr. is literally falling 15 feet because you timed that ladder push perfectly. You’re back in the WWF, you’ve got the contract… HE’S A BAD MOTHERFUCKER, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!“

[[ 2. BUTTERBEAN VS. BIRDIE ]]

(Joe is looking at a massive, bleeding Birdie while Butterbean is being helped to a stool.)

JOE ROGAN: > “I’m here with Birdie. Dude, you just took shots from a guy who has ‘Delete’ buttons in both hands. We saw your head snap back from a Butterbean right hand, and you didn’t even blink. Then you land that headbutt—it sounded like a baseball bat hitting a pumpkin! How is your skull not fractured right now?”

BIRDIE: > “Me ‘ead is harder than his fists, mate.”

JOE ROGAN: > “It’s unbelievable. One of the greatest displays of chin we’ve ever seen in the super-heavyweight division. Birdie just pulled off a massive upset!”

[[ 3. KANE VS. VADER ]]

(Joe is standing next to a breathing, snorting Vader. Kane has already retreated to the shadows.)

JOE ROGAN: > “Vader, that was a demolition. We’ve seen Kane destroy people on the regional circuit, but you just treated him like a child. You’re over 400 pounds and you’re moving with the agility of a much smaller man. Talk us through that power—it looked like Kane had no answer for the sheer pressure you were putting on him.”

VADER: > “Who’s next, Joe? That’s all I want to know.”

JOE ROGAN: > “I mean, look at that! He’s just a physical specimen. The ‘Mastodon’ is back and he is terrifying!”

[[ 4. KURT ANGLE VS. JOHN CENA ]]

(Joe has the mic between a sweaty Angle and a surprisingly composed John Cena.)

JOE ROGAN: > “Kurt, you got the win with the Ankle Lock, but man… John Cena. John, you’re a newcomer, but you just went 15 minutes of high-level grappling with an Olympic Gold Medalist. Kurt, did this kid surprise you with his strength? Because at one point, it looked like he was going to power out of a technical masterpiece.”

ANGLE: > “He’s got the ‘Ruthless Aggression,’ Joe, but he doesn’t have the gold.”

JOE ROGAN: > “John, let me talk to you—WELCOME TO THE WWF. That was an incredible performance. You’re 23 years old and you just pushed the best wrestler on the planet to the limit. That was world-class!”

[[ 5. TRIPLE H VS. X-PAC ]]

(Joe is in the center of the “Kliq” hug. He looks slightly confused by the sudden friendship.)

JOE ROGAN: > “Hunter, you dominated that match. You said you were ‘The Game’ and you proved it. But what are we seeing here? You just spent 20 minutes trying to end X-Pac’s career, and now you’re hugging Scott Hall and Shawn Michaels? Is the ‘Mafia’ taking over the locker room tonight?”

TRIPLE H: > “It’s business, Joe. And business is good.”

JOE ROGAN: > “It’s wild! The crowd is literally split down the middle. This is a bizarre turn of events for the hierarchy of the WWF!”

[[ 6. BRET HART VS. ROWDY PIPER ]]

(Joe is with Bret Hart, who is adjusting his shades.)

JOE ROGAN: > “Bret, ‘The Excellence of Execution.’ We saw some uncharacteristic mistakes tonight—timing was off, you pinned him too close to the ropes—was that just the pressure of being back in the ring against a legend like Piper? Or is there something about this new ‘Gonzaga Protocol’ era that’s messing with your rhythm?”

BRET HART: > “I won, Joe. That’s all that matters on the scoresheet.”

JOE ROGAN: > “He’s a legend for a reason! Even on an off night, Bret Hart finds a way to win. Piper is now 0-2 and facing a suspension—this is high-stakes drama, folks!”

[[ 7. YOKOZUNA VS. RIKISHI ]]

(Joe is standing next to a mountain of a man in Yokozuna.)

JOE ROGAN: > “Yokozuna, you just dropped two Banzai Drops on a guy who was supposed to be the ‘Next Big Thing’ in the Samoan family. The impact of those drops… I mean, from a physics standpoint, it’s like a compact car falling from the ceiling. Rikishi looked great early, but you just shut the door. Is Akebono being here the secret to this new intensity?”

YOKOZUNA: > (Banzai!)

JOE ROGAN: > “There you have it! Yokozuna is back in the Top 5 conversation for sure. That was pure, heavy-duty violence!”

[[ THE THREAD: ROGAN’S ENERGY ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

“HE’S A BAD MOTHERFUCKER!” 👊 Joe Rogan swearing on a WWF broadcast is the peak of the year 2000. He’s right though—Seagal is a menace with that chair.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Joe’s interview with Cena was the best part. 🎙️ You could tell he was genuinely impressed by the “Ruthless Aggression.” Rogan loves those “specimen” athletes.

User: HadoukenKid

Did you see Joe’s face when Birdie said his head was harder than Butterbean’s fists? 😂 Rogan looked like he wanted to study Birdie’s skull in a lab.

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: Rogan is reportedly staying in Dallas to record a podcast with Agatom and The Prototype. I’d pay good money to hear those three talk about training and Lucha Libre! ]]

THE DALLAS DESPERATION: SEAGAL STEALS THE CASE, ZULU JR. SENT PACKING!

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! I just got back from the Reunion Arena, and my ears are still ringing. We just witnessed the most disorganized, violent, and high-stakes car crash in WWF history. I’ve spent the last three hours rewatching the tapes in the production truck to make sense of the carnage.

The first-ever 8-Man Money in the Bank wasn’t a wrestling match—it was a survival test. Here is the official breakdown of how the “Aikido Master” saved his career and how the “Suspension Rule” claimed its first victim.

[[ THE MATCH REPORT: 20 FEET OF CHAOS ]]

The Early “Edge” Strategy

From the opening bell, Edge looked like a man with a plan—or a man who didn’t want to get hit. While Bruno Sammartino and Zulu Jr. were trading heavy leather, Edge was literally on the sidelines chatting with fans. He was playing the “long game,” conserving energy while the giants tenderized each other.

The High-Flying “Pinoy” Factor

For the first time, we saw Agatom go toe-to-toe with the heavyweights. The kid is fearless! He was hitting Lucha Libre arm-drags and springboards on guys triple his size. He, Golimar, and Super Mario turned the ring into a trampoline, but every time they got close to the gold, the “Mafia Boss” intervened.

Vince’s Ladder Sabotage

Vince McMahon might be the “Worst Fighter,” but he’s the best spoiler.

  • Bruno climbed first, only for Vince to shove the ladder. The Italian Legend was left dangling from the briefcase like a pendulum!

  • Golimar tried next, and again, Vince tipped the steel. The Indian masked warrior was hanging for dear life while the crowd went ballistic.

The Mid-Match Brutality

  • The Submission: At one point, Bruno actually trapped Edge in a brutal submission hold. In a normal match, Edge would have tapped. But here? It meant nothing. You have to climb.

  • The Spear: Once Edge finally got in the ring, he was a heat-seeking missile, Spearing everyone in sight—Agatom, Mario, and a dizzy Zulu Jr.

  • The Chair: Steven Seagal abandoned all “martial arts honor” and started swinging a steel chair like a madman, leveling anyone who breathed near him.

[[ THE FINAL CLIMB: DRAMA IN DALLAS ]]

The end was a blur of tired bodies and broken dreams. Zulu Jr. tried to hunt down Edge, but the big man’s gas tank was empty. Bruno and Golimar knocked each other off the summit one last time.

In the confusion, Seagal stunned Bruno and tossed him out like yesterday’s trash. Golimar and Seagal battled at the top of the rungs until Zulu Jr.—in a final act of desperation—pushed the ladder. Golimar fell, but Seagal managed to reset.

With everyone else sprawled on the floor or outside the ring, Steven Seagal climbed the rungs. Bruno was too exhausted to move. Edge realized his “waiting” strategy had backfired—he was three seconds too late.

[[ THE WINNER: STEVEN SEAGAL ]]

[[ THE AFTERMATH: THE COST OF DEFEAT ]]

Fighter Status The Fallout
STEVEN SEAGAL REINSTATED Win wipes his 3-loss record. He holds the MITB Briefcase!
ZULU JR. SUSPENDED 1-YEAR WWF BAN. Because he didn’t win, his 3 straight losses trigger the mandatory suspension. He’s out of the promotion until July 2027.
EDGE ACTIVE Failed his debut win. The “Opportunist” waited too long.
AGATOM ACTIVE Proved he belongs with the elites. His P4P stock is rising!

[[ THE THREAD: THE REUNION REACTION ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

SEAGAL WON?! 🥋 The chair shots were the key. He didn’t use Aikido; he used pro-wrestling 101. I’m gutted for Zulu Jr. though. A whole year away from the WWF is a death sentence for his career.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Edge played it too cool! 🤨 He was talking to the fans while Seagal was grabbing the contract. That’s a lesson learned the hard way. And Agatom… man, that kid has a heart of gold. He took a finisher on top of a ladder and still kept fighting!

User: HadoukenKid

Vince McMahon pushing the ladder while Bruno was hanging was the funniest/most evil thing I’ve ever seen. 🪜 The “Mafia” logic is real. But now Seagal has the briefcase… who is he going to cash in on? Kimbo Slice?

User: BeefSlammer69

RIP ZULU JR. 👊😤 See you in 2001, big man. Maybe you can learn how to climb a ladder in the off-season. Dallas was wild tonight!

THE DALLAS DISPATCH: HEARTBREAK, HUSTLE, AND THE HUDDLED MASSES

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Greetings from the ringside here at the Reunion Arena! If the opening Money in the Bank ladder match was a chaotic sprint to the heavens, the rest of the card was a grueling marathon through the trenches. We saw legends stumble, rookies rise, and the very foundations of the Pound-for-Pound rankings shaken to the core. Grab your binoculars, folks; we’re diving deep into the tape.

[[ THE HEAVYWEIGHT HAIL MARYS ]]

Match 2: Birdie def. Butterbean (Pinfall) The weight of expectations is a heavy burden, and tonight, Butterbean felt every ounce of it. This was his first Super-Heavyweight foray since his clash with Hong-man Choi, and the difference was stark. While he’s tasted the power of Bennie Joe, it was nothing compared to the skull-cracking headbutts of the London brawler, Birdie. The “King of the 4-Rounders” showed heart, twice trashing the commentator’s table with Birdie’s body, looking for a count-out win. But Birdie’s chin is made of granite and bad intentions. He beat the ten-count, weathered the storm, and delivered a final, concussive headbutt that silenced the Dallas crowd. Butterbean’s undefeated streak is over; the “Lock of the Night” has been broken.

Match 3: Vader def. Kane (Domination) Highly anticipated? Yes. A contest? Hardly. The mysterious Kane, who has been tearing through the indies looking for his “brother,” ran into a brick wall named Vader. In only his second WWF appearance, Vader looked like a man possessed. Kane never even managed to find his footing. This performance validates The Rock’s #2 P4P ranking—Vader is a monster, and Kane found out that “Hellfire” doesn’t burn the “Mastodon.”

[[ THE PURITY OF THE SPORT ]]

Match 4: Kurt Angle def. The Prototype (Submission) This, my friends, was the “Match of the Night.” John Cena—known here as The Prototype—walked into the lion’s den and didn’t blink. He introduced the world to “Ruthless Aggression,” going toe-to-toe with an Olympic Gold Medalist. Angle looked for the finish early with multiple transitions, but the young Cena persevered with a grit that suggests he belongs in the main event sooner rather than later. Ultimately, the veteran savvy of Angle won out, as he locked in the Ankle Lock until the rookie had no choice but to tap.

Match 6: Bret Hart def. Rowdy Roddy Piper (Pinfall) A clash of icons looking for redemption. Bret, coming off a loss to Yokozuna, looked uncharacteristically nervous. He made rookie mistakes—poor timing and pinning Piper too close to the ropes—that nearly cost him. However, “The Hitman” found his rhythm in the closing minutes. Piper, now 0-2, is staring down the barrel of a one-year suspension if he loses his next bout. A somber night for the Scotsman, but a vital 1-1 reset for Hart.

[[ DRAMA IN THE CLIQUE ]]

Match 5: Triple H def. X-Pac (The Trilogy Finale) The brotherhood is fractured, but perhaps not broken. Triple H entered the ring alone, facing an X-Pac flanked by Scott Hall and Shawn Michaels. The betrayal fueled “The Game.” He dominated the match, proving he belongs in the same breath as Austin and Rock. Despite the dirty tactics from the corner, Triple H secured the pin. The Shock: After the bell, the four “Kliq” members hugged in the ring. The crowd didn’t know whether to cheer the reunion or boo the arrogance. One man who wasn’t confused? Vince McMahon. The boss was seen backstage looking absolutely livid at this display of “independent” unity.

[[ THE SAMOAN CIVIL WAR ]]

Match 7: Yokozuna def. Rikishi (Banzai Drop) This was personal. Yokozuna entered with Sumo legend Akebono Taro, a move seen as a slight to his Samoan roots. Rikishi, backed by Umaga and Teila Tuli, started hot with youth and speed. But he got greedy. He looked for the big move too early and left an opening. Yokozuna flattened him with two consecutive Banzai Drops. Short, brutal, and a clear message: The old guard isn’t ready to step aside.

[[ THE MAIN EVENT: THE GIANT AWAKENS ]]

Match 8: Big Show def. Sagat (Upset of the Century) Dallas was ready for Muay Thai brilliance; they got a demolition derby. Sagat, missing his corner (Ken Masters and Adon), looked human for the first time. The “King of Muay Thai” appeared slow, his strikes bouncing off the 500-pound debutant. The Big Show treated Sagat like a sparring partner, tossing him across the ring with ease. The street fighting community is in shock. Was Sagat’s win over Nash a fluke? Is Muay Thai inferior to pure, giant-sized wrestling? Sagat looked exposed, and the Big Show looked like the new P4P king.

[[ POST-MATCH INTERVIEWS: LARRY MERCHANT’S CORNER ]]

Larry Merchant: “I’m here with the winner, The Big Show. You just dismantled a legend. How does it feel?”

Big Show: “Legend? Larry, I saw a guy who’s used to fighting people half his size. Welcome to the WWF. I’m the biggest shark in the ocean, and I just ate the ‘King.'”

Larry Merchant (to a dazed Sagat): “Sagat, you were the favorite. You looked… ordinary tonight. What happened?”

Sagat: (Wiping blood from his eye) “I was alone. No Master. No student. But a giant is still just a man. He threw me… but he did not break me. I will return to the jungle. I will find the power to topple this mountain. This is not the end.”

[[ CHINITO’S CLOSING NOTE: The landscape has shifted. Seagal has the case, Zulu is gone, and the Big Show is the new nightmare of the Super-Heavyweight division. Dallas will never be the same. ]]

THE “FACE THE PAIN” INTRO—THE MID-CARD SURPRISES ARE HERE!

Posted on by Maria Cristina Aguillera

Yo! I just got a copy of the official PPV opening. The “Mafia” decided to ditch the colorful pyros for a minute and go full “Old School UFC.”

The screen goes black and white. The music starts—that gritty, distorted bass of Stemm’s “Face the Pain.” The lyrics hit (“Time to end this suffering / I need a minute to myself…”) and then we get the quick-cut close-ups of the fighters looking straight into the lens. No scripts. No catchphrases. Just pure, cold intent.

Here is the transcript of the “Gonzaga-Edit” Intro:

[[ THE SUPER-HEAVYWEIGHT TOURNAMENT ]]

(B&W footage of the big men wrapping their hands. The bass is thumping.)

  • SAGAT: > “Height… reach… power. People talk about giants. I have slain giants in the jungles of Thailand. The Big Show is just a larger target for my knee.”

  • THE BIG SHOW: > “I’m not a ‘wrestler.’ I’m a force of nature. Sagat thinks he’s fast? Let’s see how fast he is when I have both hands around his throat.”

  • YOKOZUNA: > “Tradition. Weight. Gravity. You can’t move what you can’t lift. Rikishi is family… but the belt is my only honor tonight.”

  • RIKISHI: > “I’ve spent my life in his shadow. Not anymore. Tonight, the heavy world learns that the ‘Stinkface’ is just the beginning of the end.”

  • VADER: > “It’s time. It’s Vader time. I don’t care about your records. I only care about the sound of your ribs cracking under 450 pounds.”

  • KANE: > “Fire doesn’t have a weight class. It just consumes. Vader is just more fuel for the furnace.”

  • BUTTERBEAN: > “I’ve got four ounces of leather and 400 pounds of muscle. If I touch your chin, the tournament is over. Simple as that.”

  • BIRDIE: > (Grinning through broken teeth) > “Boxers are so predictable. I’ve fought in the dirtiest alleys in London. Butterbean isn’t ready for a real street fight.”

[[ THE SURPRISE MID-CARD SHOWDOWNS ]]

(The music speeds up. The cuts get faster.)

TRIPLE H vs. X-PAC

  • X-PAC: > “We were brothers. DX was our world. But Hunter… you got greedy. You sold out for the suit and the power. Tonight, I’m not ‘X-Pac.’ I’m the guy who’s going to kick your teeth down your throat for forgetting where you came from.”

  • TRIPLE H: > (Smirking, adjusting his tie) > “Sean… you’re a great athlete. But you’re a footnote. I am the story. I am The Game. You’re fighting for ‘the brotherhood.’ I’m fighting for the throne. There’s a difference.”

“THE PROTOTYPE” (JOHN CENA) vs. KURT ANGLE

  • KURT ANGLE: > “I have an Olympic Gold Medal. I have ‘Intensity, Integrity, and Intelligence.’ Who are you? Some science experiment from California? You’re in over your head, kid.”

  • THE PROTOTYPE: > (Staring intensely, looking like a literal machine) > “I’m the next evolution. I was built for this. Kurt, you’re the past. I am the Prototype of the future. You have a medal? I have ‘Ruthless Aggression.’ Let’s see which one breaks first.”

BRET “THE HITMAN” HART vs. [REDACTED]

  • BRET HART: > (Lacing his boots slowly) > “I’ve been away. I’ve heard the talk. People say I’m ‘yesterday’s news.’ But I am still the Excellence of Execution. I don’t know who they’re putting in front of me tonight… but whoever it is, they better be ready to tap out. Because I’m not leaving Dallas without a win.”

[[ THE THREAD: FACE THE PAIN REACTION ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

“RUTHLESS AGGRESSION”! 👊 That “Prototype” kid looked like he wanted to eat the camera! And X-Pac calling out Hunter for the DX betrayal? This is getting personal. The “Face the Pain” vibe makes it feel like someone is actually going to get hurt tonight.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Bret Hart’s opponent being redacted is killing me! 😤 Who could it be? If it’s someone like Ken Shamrock or Dan Severn, we might see the most technical match in history. The “Mafia” knows how to keep us guessing!

User: HadoukenKid

Sagat vs. Big Show in B&W looked terrifying. 🐯 Sagat’s eyes are just cold. No blinking. Big Show looks like he’s about to commit a crime. This is way better than the old flashy promos!

User: BeefSlammer69

BUTTERBEAN VS BIRDIE!! 👊😤 “I’ve got four ounces of leather…” Bean is the man! He’s going to KO that punk in the first round. Also, did you see Cena? That dude is huge for a light heavyweight!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: The “Prototype” vs Angle match is already being called a “potential 5-star classic” by the scouts. But all eyes are on that Redacted slot for Bret Hart. The rumor is it’s a “Multiverse Legend” making his debut! ]]

Money in the Bank Predictions: WHO IS THE SMART MONEY ON?

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! I just got a look at the “Gray Market” betting lines floating around the Dallas underground. With the Titan Clash and Money in the Bank just days away, the high rollers are putting serious cash on the line.

Since we exposed Bill Gates and his glitchy code, the real bookies have stepped in with odds based on pure grit, momentum, and the “Mafia” power rankings. Here is what the betting floor looks like for the Reunion Arena.

[[ THE SUPER-HEAVYWEIGHT TOURNAMENT ODDS ]]

(The Quarter-Finals: Winner advances to the Final Four)

Matchup Betting Line The “Underground” Logic
Sagat vs. The Big Show Sagat (-250) / Big Show (+180) Sagat is the heavy favorite. One Tiger Knee is calculated to have the same force as a car crash. Big Show is a giant, but he’s never fought a King.
Yokozuna vs. Rikishi Yokozuna (-110) / Rikishi (-110) PICK ‘EM. This is the closest line on the card. Two Samoan titans who know each other’s secrets. The house is split 50/50.
Vader vs. Kane Kane (-140) / Vader (+110) The “Big Red Machine” has the youth advantage. Vader is a legend, but the bookies think Kane’s “Hellfire” stamina will outlast Vader’s power.
Butterbean vs. Birdie Butterbean (-300) / Birdie (+240) Butterbean is the “Lock of the Night.” If Birdie can’t use his chains to choke the boxer, he’s getting slept in the first 2 minutes.

[[ THE 8-MAN MONEY IN THE BANK ODDS ]]

(To win the briefcase and the Undisputed Contract)

  • AGATOM: +200 (The Favorite) – His speed is unmatched. The bookies see him as the most likely to “ninja” his way to the top.

  • EDGE: +350 – The “Ultimate Opportunist” tag is sticking. People are betting on him waiting for everyone else to fall.

  • BRUNO SAMMARTINO: +500 – The sentimental favorite. A lot of old-school money is coming in on the legend.

  • GOLIMAR: +650 – Dark horse. If he focuses on Agatom, he might clear the path for himself.

  • ZULU JR. / SEAGAL: +1200 (The Longshots) – Desperation is a factor, but the bookies think they’ll be too busy defending their roster spots to actually climb.

  • VINCE MCMAHON: +2500 – Unless he pays off the referee, the house says he’s going home empty-handed.

[[ THE “FUTURE” BOUT: LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT SEMIS ]]

KURT ANGLE (-180) vs. THE PROTOTYPE (+150)

The Scouting Report: Kurt Angle is an Olympic Gold Medalist, and the money reflects that. However, the “Prototype” (John Cena) is seeing a lot of “Sharp Money” (professional bettors) lately. People think the rookie is a freak of nature who could pull off a massive upset before SummerSlam.

[[ THE THREAD: BETTING BLOOD ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

SAGAT AT -250?! 🐯 That’s free money. Big Show is going to be slow-motion compared to those Muay Thai strikes. I’m putting my whole paycheck on the King.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Watch out, man. Show only needs to land one punch to change the odds. But I’m with you on Agatom at +200. The kid is built for ladder matches. 🇵🇭

User: HadoukenKid

Kurt Angle being the favorite over Cena makes sense, but +150 on the “Prototype” is tempting. If Cena wins, the entire Light Heavyweight division is on notice.

User: BeefSlammer69

I’m betting on Zulu Jr. at +1200. 👊😤 When a man is fighting for his job, he becomes a monster! He’s going to break that ladder in half and climb the pieces!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: Word from the back is that Agatom has been seen training with a custom-weighted ladder to increase his climbing speed. The Dallas “Mafia” might have to move the line to -110 if he keeps this up! ]]

THE WORLD REACTS TO THE WWF’s NEW GIMMICK: MONEY IN THE BANK!

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! The “Mafia” just turned the wrestling world upside down. Since the “Big Three” (Rock, Austin, HHH) and the Super Heavyweights are too busy with their own wars, the Money in the Bank has become a literal “Island of Misfit Toys.”

From the Malacañang Palace to the Central Perk couch, the world is buzzing about this 8-man ladder match and the mysterious “Royal Rumble” and “Survivor Series” concepts. I’ve spent all day gathering the most high-profile “shoot” reactions from the biggest icons of Y2K.

[[ THE RING KINGS & LEGENDS ]]

  • HULK HOGAN: > “Well let me tell you something, brother! I see the list… I see Zulu Jr. and Steven Seagal fighting for their lives. That’s the power of the WWF! It’s not just about the belt; it’s about the right to exist in the ring! But watch out for Bruno Sammartino—he’s the original Hulkamaniac, and he’s coming for that briefcase with a vengeance!”

  • BRET HART: > “I’m preparing for Kurt Angle, but I’m watching this ladder match closely. Agatom and Golimar have the experience, but this ‘Suspension Rule’ is interesting. It brings a desperation to the ring that you don’t see in regular matches. Zulu Jr. is fighting a ghost right now—the ghost of his own career.”

  • GOLDBERG: > “I don’t care about ladders. I don’t care about briefcases. And I certainly don’t care about Vince McMahon trying to play wrestler. When I arrive, I’m going to spear the winner of this match through the ladder. WHO’S NEXT?!“

[[ THE HEAVY HITTERS: BOXING, NBA & MMA ]]

  • MIKE TYSON: > “Vince McMahon in a ladder match? That’s like putting a target on your chest! 🎯 I want to see Agatom fly. That kid is like a mosquito you can’t swat. And the Royal Rumble? 30 men?! That’s a street riot with a referee. I love it!”

  • OSCAR DE LA HOYA: > “It’s a strategic disaster for Seagal. Aikido doesn’t work when you’re 15 feet in the air. But Edge… that kid has the look of a champion. He’s my dark horse for the briefcase.”

  • MICHAEL JORDAN: > “3 straight losses and you’re suspended? 🏀 I love that. That’s elite accountability. If you can’t win, you don’t play. I’m rooting for Agatom—he reminds me of a young point guard who doesn’t know he’s not supposed to be able to dunk yet.”

  • SHAQ: > “Man, if Zulu Jr. falls off that ladder, the Richter scale in Dallas is gonna hit an 8.0! 💥 And the Survivor Series? 5-on-5? That’s my game! I want to lead a team of Super Heavyweights vs. the Light Heavyweights!”

[[ THE HOLLYWOOD & TALK SHOW CIRCUIT ]]

  • THE CAST OF ‘FRIENDS’:

    • CHANDLER (Matthew Perry): “Could this match BE any more dangerous? I mean, we have a plumber, a movie star, and the boss all fighting for a briefcase. It sounds like my Tuesday night.”

    • JOEY (Matt LeBlanc): “Wait, so the winner gets a title shot ANYTIME? Like, even during lunch? I’d win the case just so I could cash it in at a buffet. How you doin’, Agatom?”

    • PHOEBE (Lisa Kudrow): “I think the ladder represents our spiritual struggle to reach the snacks of enlightenment. I wrote a song about Zulu Jr. It’s called ‘Smelly Wrestler, Why Are You Losing?'”

  • OPRAH WINFREY: > “Today we are talking about second chances! Zulu Jr., Steven Seagal… they are facing a one-year suspension! We are sending them light and love, but in that ring, only one person can grab their destiny! You get a briefcase! YOU get a briefcase!”

  • JERRY SPRINGER: > “Vince McMahon fighting his own employees for a promotion? It’s just another day at my studio. Take care of yourselves, and each other… especially if you’re 20 feet up a ladder.”

[[ THE PHILIPPINE POWER PLAYERS ]]

  • JOSEPH “ERAP” ESTRADA: > “I am the President of the masses, and I stand with Agatom! 🇵🇭 He is fighting to keep our flag flying high! As for the suspension rule… maybe we should apply that to some of my critics! 3 strikes and you’re out of the Senate!”

  • CHAVIT SINGSON: > “I like the high stakes. It’s like a big game hunt. If Agatom wins, I will host a victory party in Vigan with the finest cigars. But watch out for Golimar—he is a treacherous one!”

  • KRIS AQUINO: > “Oh my gosh, Agatom vs. a plumber?! And poor Steven Seagal… I used to love his movies! 🎬 It’s so nakaka-stress! I hope nobody gets hurt, but I’m secretly cheering for the ‘underdogs’ because we Filipinos love a good drama!”

[[ THE MUSIC LEGEND ]]

  • MICHAEL JACKSON: > (Softly) > “It’s a thriller… literally. Seeing the little one, Agatom, climb that high… it’s like he’s moonwalking in the sky. I hope he finds his ‘Victory.’ Heal the world, but first, win the belt!”

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that the Survivor Series 5v5 match is being teased as “TEAM ROCK vs. TEAM AUSTIN.” If that happens, the WWF will officially own the year 2000! ]]

THE “LAST CHANCE” LADDER: MONEY IN THE BANK LINEUP FINALIZED!

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! The “Mafia” just dropped the official list for the first-ever Money in the Bank, and it’s not what anyone expected. This isn’t just a match for a title shot—for some of these guys, it’s a Desperation Derby.

With the Super Heavyweights busy in the Titan Clash and the Light Heavyweight division locked in a tournament battle between The Prototype and Kurt Angle (winner faces RVD at SummerSlam!), the MITB has become a “Redemption Round” for the underdogs and the unproven.

[[ THE OFFICIAL MONEY IN THE BANK 8-MAN LINEUP ]]

The mechanics remain the same: Climb the ladder, grab the case, earn a shot at the Vacant Undisputed World Title. But the stakes? Life or death for their WWF careers.

  1. AGATOM (Cruiserweight): The Filipino High Flyer. He and Golimar are the only ones with ladder experience in the WWF.

  2. GOLIMAR (Cruiserweight): The masked enigma who already beat Agatom once. He’s the favorite to reach the top first.

  3. ZULU JR. (Super Heavyweight): THE HIGH STAKES. Zulu Jr. has 3 straight losses. One more and he’s hit with the Automatic 1-Year Suspension (The “Anti-Farming” Rule). This is his only way to stay on the roster.

  4. STEVEN SEAGAL (Light Heavyweight): Also sitting on 3 losses. The Aikido master is fighting for his professional life.

  5. VINCE MCMAHON (Heavyweight): Voted the “Worst WWF Fighter” in the division. He’s entering his own match to prove he’s not just a suit.

  6. SUPER MARIO (Cruiserweight): 0 wins, 2 losses. He needs a miracle “Power-Up” to get past the 116lb Agatom.

  7. EDGE (Heavyweight): The debut! He was chosen over Scott Hall to bring “New Blood” to the ladder.

  8. BRUNO SAMMARTINO (Heavyweight): The “People’s Choice” by default. After his April 1st loss to Andre, the legend is looking to prove the old school still has “Upward Mobility.”

[[ THE “SUSPENSION SQUAD” & THE WWF REMEDY ]]

The WWF is for the elite. 3 straight losses usually means a 1-year ban to prevent other fighters from “farming” easy wins off you. However, the “Mafia” has offered a loophole: Special Event Redemption. * If you win a “Special Match” (MITB, Royal Rumble, or Survivor Series), your losses are wiped, and you are reinstated.

[[ WHAT ARE THE RUMORED SPECIAL MATCHES? ]]

While the MITB is the focus for July, whispers of two other “Massacre” formats are leaking from Stamford:

1. THE ROYAL RUMBLE

  • The Rumor: 30 men. One ring.

  • The Catch: Two men start, and every 2 minutes, a new fighter enters. The only way to lose is to be thrown over the top rope and have both feet touch the floor.

  • The Prize: Usually a main event spot at the biggest show of the year. It’s a test of stamina and “Ring IQ.”

2. SURVIVOR SERIES

  • The Rumor: “Tag Team Elimination” on a massive scale.

  • The Catch: It’s 4v4 or 5v5. When you get pinned or submit, you’re out, but your team keeps fighting.

  • The Vibe: This is where “Stables” like the nWo or the rumored “Pinoy Invasion” will truly go to war. It’s about who has the most loyal allies when the chips are down.

[[ THE THREAD: THE UNDERDOG UPRISING ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

ZULU JR. AND SEAGAL ON THE BRINK!! 😱 If they don’t win this, we don’t see them for a year. That is a massive penalty. I bet Seagal tries to use a “Chair-Aikido” move to knock Agatom off the ladder.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Vince McMahon in the match he created? 🤡 He’s going to get destroyed. But watch out for Edge. If he’s as good as the scouting reports say, he might steal that briefcase while everyone is focused on the “Suspension Squad.”

User: HadoukenKid

Agatom vs Golimar II… but with a ladder! 🪜 This is the real story. Agatom knows the heights, but can he handle a 300lb Bruno Sammartino shaking the base of the ladder?

User: BeefSlammer69

ROYAL RUMBLE?! 👊😤 30 men?! Imagine Kimbo Slice entering at #1 and knocking out 29 people in a row. That’s the dream. But for now, I’m rooting for Super Mario. Give the plumber a win! 🍄💥

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that Zulu Jr. has been seen practicing “Vertical Splashes.” If a Super Heavyweight jumps off a 20-foot ladder, the Dallas arena might not survive the night! ]]

THE DALLAS “DEATH LIST” & THE MITB LEAKS: WHO IS CLIMBING THE LADDER?

Posted on by Maria Cristina Aguillera

Yo! I just got my hands on a fax that was “accidentally” left in a copier at the WWF headquarters in Stamford. We finally have the rumored names for the Titan Clash and the first-ever Money in the Bank (MITB).

Vince is calling this “The New Era of Opportunism,” but in the locker room, they’re calling it a suicide mission. Here is the leaked July lineup that’s going to change the WWF landscape forever.

[[ THE “TITAN CLASH” FINALIZED CARD ]]

July 23, 2000 – Reunion Arena, Dallas

The 8-man Heavyweight Tournament to crown the #1 Contender for SummerSlam:

  1. Butterbean vs. Birdie: (Boxing vs. Chains—a literal hospital trip waiting to happen).

  2. Sagat vs. The Big Show: (The Emperor of Muay Thai vs. The Largest Athlete in the World).

  3. Yokozuna vs. Rikishi: (The Battle of the Samoan Giants—the ring might actually collapse).

  4. Vader vs. Kane: (Pure Super Heavyweight carnage).

[[ LEAKED: THE 1ST EVER “MONEY IN THE BANK” LINEUP ]]

The “Mafia” wanted a mix of speed, technical brilliance, and absolute madness. These 6 men are reportedly the ones chosen to climb for the briefcase:

  • Rob Van Dam (RVD): The #3 Light Heavyweight and current favorite. If there’s a ladder, RVD is going to jump off it.

  • The Prototype (John Cena): The rookie powerhouse. He’s currently #8 in Light Heavyweight and looking for a “fast track” to the top.

  • Edge: The “Ultimate Opportunist” rumor is starting here. He’s built for this kind of chaos.

  • Christian: Where Edge goes, Christian follows. They’ll likely work together… until they don’t.

  • Chris Benoit: The technical machine. He doesn’t like gimmicks, but he likes winning.

  • Shelton Benjamin: Rumor has it this guy’s athleticism on a ladder is “superhuman.”

THE MECHANICS: The briefcase hangs 20 feet up. Inside is a contract for a World Title Match anytime, anywhere. If you win, you have one year to “cash in.” You could jump the champion during a grocery run or after a 60-minute iron man match. The Undisputed Belt is never safe again.

[[ THE RETURN: BRET “THE HITMAN” HART ]]

After his shocking loss to Yokozuna on March 26th—his first and only sanctioned WWF fight—Bret is back. He’s been silent while Goldberg, The Rock, and Stone Cold took over the headlines.

  • The July Fight: Bret vs. Kurt Angle. Bret wants to prove he’s still the “Excellence of Execution” against the new Olympic blood. He’s never fought the “Big Three” of the new era yet, and word is he’s using this match to scout his next target.

[[ THE WORLD REACTS TO THE MITB CONCEPT ]]

Personality The “Shoot” Reaction
Ryu (SF) “To climb for power instead of earning it through the fist… it is a strange path. But the courage to ascend while being attacked is a warrior’s trait.”
Guile (SF) “It’s an aerial tactical nightmare. You’re a sitting duck on that ladder. I hope these boys have their ‘Flash Kicks’ ready for the mid-air counters.”
The Rock “You think The Rock is scared of a briefcase? You can climb the ladder, grab the case, and open it up just to find a one-way ticket to Smackdown Hotel!”
Stone Cold “Vince wants to legalize muggings? Fine. But if you try to cash in on the Texas Rattlesnake, you’re getting a Stunner before you can even unzip the bag!”
Triple H “It’s a shortcut for cowards. I’ve spent 15 years in the trenches. If some high-flyer thinks he can skip the line, I’ll break his neck at the bottom of the ladder.”
Mike Tyson “It’s a street fight in the sky, man! I love it! It’s like the ‘hood—you always gotta be ready to bang, even when you’re tired.”
Michael Jordan “I took it personally that they didn’t ask me to be the one hanging the case. I’d like to see anyone try to out-jump me for it. 🏀”
Shaq “The ladder would break the second I put a toe on it! But I love the hustle. I’d cash in on Big Show during his lunch break. Give me the BBQ and the belt!”
Kobe Bryant “It’s Mamba Mentality. You find the path to the top while everyone else is fighting on the ground. It’s not a shortcut; it’s an obsession.”

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that Agatom is also pushing to be the 7th man in the MITB match. Can you imagine the 116-pounder diving from 20 feet up? The Philippines would explode! ]]

THE “ANYTIME, ANYWHERE” ANARCHY: GLOBAL ICONS REACT TO MONEY IN THE BANK

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! The rumors of the Money in the Bank (MITB) ladder match have officially broken the internet. I’ve been tracking the “internal memos” and catching quotes from the biggest names in sports and street fighting. This isn’t just a match; it’s a “legalized mugging” for the Undisputed World Title.

Here is how the world’s most dangerous men and most competitive icons are reacting to the chaos.

[[ THE BIG THREE: THE WWF POWERHOUSE REACTS ]]

  • THE ROCK: > “The Rock hears the jabronis talking about a briefcase. You want to climb a ladder? You want to jump off a 20-foot structure just to get a piece of paper? The Rock doesn’t need a contract to be the People’s Champion. But if you think you’re going to ‘cash in’ while The Rock is celebrating a victory… if you think you’re going to catch the Great One off guard… you better bring more than a ladder. You better bring a miracle, because the Rock will take that briefcase, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!”

  • STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN: > “I don’t give a damn about a briefcase, and I sure as hell don’t care about a ladder. Vince thinks he can create a ‘shortcut’ to my title? If some son-of-a-bitch thinks he’s gonna jump me after a match, he’s gonna find out that a Stunner works just as well at 2:00 AM as it does at 8:00 PM. You want the belt? Be a man and step in the ring. You want to use a briefcase? I’ll use your head for target practice. And that’s the bottom line!”

  • TRIPLE H: > “It’s typical. Vince wants to give the ‘nobodies’ a chance to steal what belongs to the ‘Cerebral Assassin.’ This MITB concept is a slap in the face to the hierarchy. I’ve spent fifteen years becoming the best in this business, and now some high-flyer can jump off a ladder and skip the line? Fine. Let them climb. While they’re looking at the ceiling, I’ll be waiting at the bottom to break the ladder—and their legs. The Game doesn’t play with toys.”

[[ STREET FIGHTER: THE WORLD WARRIORS WEIGH IN ]]

  • RYU: > “A battle for a contract? It lacks the purity of the Fist. To win by climbing instead of striking… it feels hollow. However, I respect the courage it takes to climb so high while being attacked. I will watch, but my path remains the same: the true fight is within.”

  • GUILE: > “It’s a tactical nightmare. You’re exposed on that ladder from 360 degrees. It’s like being in a cockpit with no canopy. If the WWF wants a real ‘Air Force’ specialist to take that case, they should call a professional. But ‘cashing in’ when a man is down? That’s not a soldier’s way.”

  • M. BISON: > (Laughing) > “A briefcase that grants ultimate power? Finally, a match that understands the beauty of corruption! I don’t care about the ladder—I will simply Psycho Crush anyone who touches it. The World Title belongs to Shadaloo, regardless of what the contract says!”

[[ THE HEAVY HITTERS: BOXING & MMA ]]

  • MIKE TYSON: > “It’s crazy, man. It’s like a street fight in the sky. If you’re on that ladder, you can’t protect your chin. One punch and it’s a long way down. I like the ‘anytime’ rule, though. It’s like the streets—you always gotta be ready to bang.”

  • OSCAR DE LA HOYA: > “It’s too much of a circus for me. Wrestling is one thing, but climbing ladders for a contract? It takes away from the ‘Sweet Science.’ But hey, the ratings will be huge. People love a car wreck.”

  • LENNOX LEWIS: > “It’s a strategic game of chess, but the board is vertical. You have to wait for the right moment to climb. If you go too early, you’re a target. If you go too late, the prize is gone.”

  • MARK HUNT: > “Just give me the ladder so I can hit someone with it. 👊 If I win that case, I’m cashing it in the second Kimbo Slice finishes a fight. Walk-off KO, take the belt, go home. Easy.”

[[ THE HARDCOURT LEGENDS: NBA ICONS ]]

  • MICHAEL JORDAN: > “I heard the ‘anytime’ rule. That’s the ultimate test of a champion. Can you defend your title when you’re tired? When you’re hurt? That’s what separates the Greats from the rest. I took it personally that they didn’t ask me to be the one hanging the briefcase. I’d like to see anyone try to out-jump me for it.”

  • SHAQ: > “Man, the ladder would break as soon as I put one foot on it! 🏀💥 But I love the concept. It’s like a fast break—you see the opening, you take the shot. If I had that briefcase, I’d cash it in on Big Show during his dinner. Give me the BBQ and the belt!”

  • KOBE BRYANT: > “It’s about the Mamba Mentality. You have to be the most obsessed person in that ring. While everyone is fighting on the mat, you have to find the path to the top. The MITB isn’t a ‘shortcut’—it’s an opportunity for the person who wants it the most. I respect the hustle.”

[[ THE THREAD: MITB MANIA ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

TYSON IS RIGHT! 🥊 Imagine being 20 feet up and seeing Mike Tyson waiting at the bottom. I’d just stay up there! And Triple H sounds terrified that someone is finally going to out-smart him.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    RVD in a ladder match? It’s over. He’s the #3 Light Heavyweight and he lives on the top rope. If he’s in the MITB, he’s walking away with the case. No question.

User: HadoukenKid

M. Bison wanting the briefcase for Shadaloo? 💀 The WWF is getting too dangerous. We’ve got dictators, boxers, and Olympic wrestlers all fighting for one belt. July 23rd cannot get here fast enough!

User: BeefSlammer69

SHAQ VS THE LADDER!! 👊😤 I’m telling you, they need a custom-built steel ladder if the Super Heavyweights are in this. Imagine Yokozuna trying to climb that. The ring would implode!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that Bret Hart has been training privately in a “Ladder-filled” gym in Calgary. Is “The Hitman” looking to secure a guaranteed shot at the man who beat him, Yokozuna? ]]