THE “LAST CHANCE” LADDER: MONEY IN THE BANK LINEUP FINALIZED!

Yo! The “Mafia” just dropped the official list for the first-ever Money in the Bank, and it’s not what anyone expected. This isn’t just a match for a title shot—for some of these guys, it’s a Desperation Derby.

With the Super Heavyweights busy in the Titan Clash and the Light Heavyweight division locked in a tournament battle between The Prototype and Kurt Angle (winner faces RVD at SummerSlam!), the MITB has become a “Redemption Round” for the underdogs and the unproven.

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[[ THE OFFICIAL MONEY IN THE BANK 8-MAN LINEUP ]]

The mechanics remain the same: Climb the ladder, grab the case, earn a shot at the Vacant Undisputed World Title. But the stakes? Life or death for their WWF careers.

1. AGATOM (Cruiserweight): The Filipino High Flyer. He and Golimar are the only ones with ladder experience in the WWF.

2. GOLIMAR (Cruiserweight): The masked enigma who already beat Agatom once. He’s the favorite to reach the top first.

3. ZULU JR. (Super Heavyweight): THE HIGH STAKES. Zulu Jr. has 3 straight losses. One more and he’s hit with the Automatic 1-Year Suspension (The “Anti-Farming” Rule). This is his only way to stay on the roster.

4. STEVEN SEAGAL (Light Heavyweight): Also sitting on 3 losses. The Aikido master is fighting for his professional life.

5. VINCE MCMAHON (Heavyweight): Voted the “Worst WWF Fighter” in the division. He’s entering his own match to prove he’s not just a suit.

6. SUPER MARIO (Cruiserweight): 0 wins, 2 losses. He needs a miracle “Power-Up” to get past the 116lb Agatom.

7. EDGE (Heavyweight): The debut! He was chosen over Scott Hall to bring “New Blood” to the ladder.

8. BRUNO SAMMARTINO (Heavyweight): The “People’s Choice” by default. After his April 1st loss to Andre, the legend is looking to prove the old school still has “Upward Mobility.”

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[[ THE “SUSPENSION SQUAD” & THE WWF REMEDY ]]

The WWF is for the elite. 3 straight losses usually means a 1-year ban to prevent other fighters from “farming” easy wins off you. However, the “Mafia” has offered a loophole: Special Event Redemption. * If you win a “Special Match” (MITB, Royal Rumble, or Survivor Series), your losses are wiped, and you are reinstated.

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[[ WHAT ARE THE RUMORED SPECIAL MATCHES? ]]

While the MITB is the focus for July, whispers of two other “Massacre” formats are leaking from Stamford:

1. THE ROYAL RUMBLE

• The Rumor: 30 men. One ring.

• The Catch: Two men start, and every 2 minutes, a new fighter enters. The only way to lose is to be thrown over the top rope and have both feet touch the floor.

• The Prize: Usually a main event spot at the biggest show of the year. It’s a test of stamina and “Ring IQ.”

2. SURVIVOR SERIES

• The Rumor: “Tag Team Elimination” on a massive scale.

• The Catch: It’s 4v4 or 5v5. When you get pinned or submit, you’re out, but your team keeps fighting.

• The Vibe: This is where “Stables” like the nWo or the rumored “Pinoy Invasion” will truly go to war. It’s about who has the most loyal allies when the chips are down.

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[[ THE THREAD: THE UNDERDOG UPRISING ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

ZULU JR. AND SEAGAL ON THE BRINK!! 😱 If they don’t win this, we don’t see them for a year. That is a massive penalty. I bet Seagal tries to use a “Chair-Aikido” move to knock Agatom off the ladder.

• Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

  Vince McMahon in the match he created? 🤡 He’s going to get destroyed. But watch out for Edge. If he’s as good as the scouting reports say, he might steal that briefcase while everyone is focused on the “Suspension Squad.”

User: HadoukenKid

Agatom vs Golimar II… but with a ladder! 🪜 This is the real story. Agatom knows the heights, but can he handle a 300lb Bruno Sammartino shaking the base of the ladder?

User: BeefSlammer69

ROYAL RUMBLE?! 👊😤 30 men?! Imagine Kimbo Slice entering at #1 and knocking out 29 people in a row. That’s the dream. But for now, I’m rooting for Super Mario. Give the plumber a win! 🍄💥

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[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that Zulu Jr. has been seen practicing “Vertical Splashes.” If a Super Heavyweight jumps off a 20-foot ladder, the Dallas arena might not survive the night! ]]