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WWF EXTREME RULES: DENVER DEVASTATION

Posted on by Chinito Henson

DATE: October 29, 2000 LOCATION: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado

The altitude in Denver wasn’t the only thing causing breathless gasps tonight. From the psychological dismantling of the McMahon dynasty to the coronation of The Rock as the definitive P4P king, Extreme Rules delivered a night of shifting tides.

[[ THE POST-FIGHT INTERVIEWS: JOE ROGAN IN THE RING ]]

JOE ROGAN: “I’m here with the man who just proved the algorithms right. Rock, you just put on a 5-star clinic against the most feared street fighter in the world. You used your length, you survived the ground-and-pound, and you closed it out with two Rock Bottoms and the People’s Elbow. In the end, it was a KO. How did it feel to finally silence the critics who said you were ‘ducking’ Kimbo?”

THE ROCK: (Wiping blood from his lip, chest heaving) “Joe, the critics don’t matter. The algorithms don’t matter. The only thing that matters is the 20,000 screaming fans in Denver and the millions watching at home. Kimbo Slice came in here with a reputation; he left with a lesson. He’s tough—The Rock will give him that—but there is a difference between a backyard brawl and the Great One’s ring. The Rock didn’t just win; The Rock showed him that at this level, you don’t just fight with your fists—you fight with your soul.”

JOE ROGAN: “Kimbo, you’re still getting your bearings, but you went toe-to-toe with the #4 P4P fighter in the world. You hurt him on the ground. You survived a Rock Bottom through a table. What is the takeaway for you tonight after your first loss in the WWF?”

KIMBO SLICE: (Sitting on a stool, ice on his neck) “He’s… he’s faster than he looks on TV, man. I caught him, I felt his ribs crack under my ground-and-pound… but he just keeps coming. I ain’t making excuses. The Rock is the real deal. But Joe? Tell the Top 5 to stop running. I’m still here. I’m still the BMF. I just need one more shot.”

[[ THE MAIN EVENT WRAP-UP: LARRY MERCHANT WITH THE DEADMAN ]]

In a shocking anti-climax that left the audience stunned, The Undertaker dispatched Mankind in just 2 minutes and 2 seconds. No weapons, no long-drawn-out torture—just a cold, efficient Pinfall that moves Taker to 3-1 in their historic rivalry.

LARRY MERCHANT: “Undertaker, the fans were expecting a bloodbath. They were expecting the third chapter of a saga. Instead, you gave them a two-minute execution. Why the change in tactics? Why so quick?”

THE UNDERTAKER: (Staring into the camera, hood up) “Mick Foley has given enough blood to this ring. Tonight wasn’t about the fans’ bloodlust; it was about ending a cycle. The Deadman doesn’t need a kendo stick to prove he’s the Reaper. I took his heart, I took the three-count, and I’m moving toward the title. The saga is buried.”

LARRY MERCHANT: “Mick, you look more confused than hurt. You’re now 1-3 against the Deadman. Is the magic gone, or did he just catch you cold?”

MICK FOLEY: “I… I don’t know, Larry. I prepared for war. I prepared for the tacks and the fire. He just… he came at me like a freight train. Maybe he’s right. Maybe this cycle needs to end before one of us doesn’t walk away.”

[[ THE ANALYST ROUNDTABLE: CLOSING REMARKS ]]

JIM LAMPLEY: “What a night! We saw the emergence of a new power in Kim-Solo, who looked absolutely clinical in forcing Rey Mysterio to tap. It was a statement win for the North Korean—total control, zero waste. He is a dark horse for the title in 2021.”

LENNOX LEWIS: “I have to talk about the Rock and Kimbo. That was the ‘Fight of the Year’ contender right there. People talk about size vs. grit, but the Rock showed that elite athleticism is the ultimate equalizer. And let’s not overlook Bob Sapp. He comically failed that lift on Big Show—looking like he was trying to recreate Hogan/Andre—but that one haymaker changed the night. He stayed undefeated at 3-0! The man is a sentient avalanche.”

TEDDY ATLAS: “Lampley, we have to address the ‘Jackie Chan’ situation. The fans felt cheated. Whether it was a stunt double or just a safe strategy, the Ladder Match was a letdown. But look at the heavyweights! Vader vs. Yokozuna was a ‘Big Man Classic.’ Vader’s stamina was the only reason he’s moving on. He couldn’t hit the moonsault, but he hit the marks when it mattered.”

LARRY MERCHANT: “And finally, the Main Event. It was the anti-climax of the century. After the 5-star war between Triple H and Vince to open the show—where Vince showed the chin of a statue—to see Mankind fall in two minutes? It feels like the end of an era. The WWF is changing, Jim. It’s becoming faster, more efficient, and more dangerous.”

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: The Microsoft Simulator was spot on about The Rock’s length being the deciding factor. With Taker moving to 3-1 and Kimbo dropping to #2, the P4P rankings are about to be a total mess tomorrow morning! ]]

THE HIGHLAND STANDOFF — RETIREMENT, REDEMPTION, & THE “THAI” RECKONING

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Hulk Hogan has officially moved on from the Tyson negotiations, choosing to defend his legacy against the man who defined the word “Champion” before the Hulkster ever laced up a boot: The Living Legend, Bruno Sammartino.

[[ THE MAIN EVENT: THE GENERATIONAL COLLISION ]]

HULK HOGAN vs. BRUNO SAMMARTINO (Age 46)

This isn’t just a fight; it’s a collision of eras. Bruno, the man who held the belt for 11 years, is coming off a massive morale-boosting win against Scotland’s own Rowdy Roddy Piper back in March. However, the shadow of Andre the Giant still looms large over Bruno, as Andre absolutely dominated their April 1st encounter.

THE INTEL: Hogan’s camp is banking on Bruno’s age and the fact that he was “broken” by Andre. Hogan wants to prove that he is the new Bruno, but with more explosive power. Bruno, meanwhile, is training in the Italian Alps, claiming that “Hulkamania” is just a flashy curtain that he plans to tear down with a simple bearhug.

[[ THE SCOTLAND SCANDAL: DUCKING THE DRAGON? ]]

While Hogan prepares for Bruno, a much more dangerous rumor is circulating the Glasgow pubs. Ken Masters has been vocal in the press, confirming that Ryu—the man who reportedly sent Sagat to the hospital—offered to fight Hogan at the Castle.

THE TRUTH: The WWF front office is doing everything in its power to bury this. They don’t want the world to know that the #1 star is avoiding a “smaller” street fighter with no mainstream name. If Ryu wins, Hogan’s legacy is dust. If Hogan wins, he “beat a nobody.” It’s a no-win scenario for the Hulkster, so he’s hiding behind the “Legend” fight with Bruno.

[[ RYU’S CHALLENGER: THE BRITTISH ENFORCER STEPPING UP? ]]

Ryu is currently stranded in Scotland. Sources say he spent his last yen on the flight and is essentially living in a training dojo in the Highlands. He has issued an open challenge to anyone on the roster just so he can pay for a ticket home.

The silence from the locker room is deafeaning, but William Regal has been seen in deep conversation with management. Regal is reportedly disgusted that a guest is being ducked in his home territory.

[[ THE UNDER CARD: BLOOD, PRIDE, & SUSPENSIONS ]]

1. BRET “THE HITMAN” HART vs. “ROWDY” RODDY PIPER (Rematch)

The stakes couldn’t be higher. Piper is 0-2 and facing a potential one-year WWF suspension if he fails to secure a win on home soil. At 35, many are calling this a Retirement Match for the Hot Rod. Hart won their last encounter on July 23rd, but a desperate Piper in Scotland is a different animal. Will the Hitman’s technical excellence be enough to retire a legend?

2. KIMBO SLICE vs. EAGLE (The “Cherry-Picked” Fight)

Kimbo continues his tour of the UK by facing Eagle, a stylish street fighter who is looking to bounce back from an April loss to Birdie. Mainstream fans are calling this a “safe” move for Kimbo to inflate his record, but “Street Fighter” purists are billing this as a technical dream match. Eagle’s stick-fighting background vs. Kimbo’s bare-knuckle power.

3. SAGAT vs. ADON (The Battle for Thailand)

Simultaneously in Bangkok, a brutal eliminator is taking place. Sagat, still nursing injuries from his rumored encounter with Ryu, must defend his throne against his former student, Adon. The winner will represent Thailand in the 2001 Intercontinental Tournament. Adon believes Sagat is a “hollow king” and looks to seize the crown from the man who was once thought to be invincible.

[[ THE UPDATED SEPTEMBER CARD ]]

Match Stakes Status
Hogan vs. Sammartino USA Title / UWC Hope Confirmed
Hart vs. Piper II Piper’s Career on the Line Confirmed
Kimbo Slice vs. Eagle P4P Momentum Confirmed
Sagat vs. Adon Tournament Representation Live from Thailand
Ryu vs. TBD The “Ticket Home” Challenge Awaiting Signee

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: If Piper loses, it’s the end of an era. If Sagat loses to Adon, the “King” is officially dead. This might be the most consequential month in WWF history! ]]

ERAP REIGNS SUPREME AT ARANETA!

Posted on by Chinito Henson

The Big Dome has seen many wars, but tonight, the atmosphere in the Araneta Coliseum felt like a fever dream from a 1970s action film. Under the official WWF banner, the “President of the Masses,” Joseph “Erap” Estrada, stepped into the squared circle not with a podium, but with a pair of taped fists.

At 58 years of age, the pundits said he’d be a stationary target for the younger, more agile George Estregan. They were wrong. Erap didn’t just fight; he systematically dismantled his own brother with a blend of “Old School” boxing and surprisingly crisp wrestling fundamentals.

[[ THE MATCH REPORT: KINABUHI UG KAMATAYON ]]

The bell rang, and Estregan immediately tried to use his youth, circling the President. But Erap showed the world why he was the “King of Action.” He cut off the ring with veteran poise, landing a triple-jab combo that rocked Estregan’s jaw.

The shock of the night came in the third “round” (under WWF hybrid rules). When Estregan tried to clinch, Erap transitioned into a classic Greco-Roman slam, spiking George into the canvas. The crowd erupted as Erap climbed the turnbuckle—not for a splash, but to rally the “masa.”

The Finish: Erap landed a devastating overhand right—the “Para sa Mahirap” Punch—followed by a tactical leg-trip. He hooked the leg for the 1-2-3. Winner by Pinfall: Joseph Estrada. —

[[ THE OCTAGON INTERVIEW: ROGAN & THE PRESIDENT ]]

JOE ROGAN: “I’m here with the winner, the 13th President of the Philippines, Joseph Estrada! Erap, you’re 58 years old, and you just went out there and performed like a guy in his 30s. The conditioning, the combos… HOW DID YOU DO THIS?!“

ERAP: (Wiping sweat, breathless but grinning) “Joe, they forget… before I was in Malacañang, I was in the streets of Tondo. You don’t lose that. My brother is young, he is strong, but he doesn’t have the ‘Asiong Salonga’ heart. I trained for this like a man with nothing to lose.”

JOE ROGAN: “Let’s look at the replay on the screen here. Look at this slam! You got under his center of gravity perfectly. Was that wrestling something you’ve been drilling, or is that just ‘Movie Stunt’ muscle memory?”

ERAP: “It’s a bit of both, Joe. In the movies, we learn how to throw a man. In the WWF, you learn how to make him stay down. I wanted to show that even at 58, the ‘Jeepney’ can still outrun the sports car.”

JOE ROGAN: “Is this it? One and done? Or are you a full-time WWF Superstar now that your term is winding down?”

ERAP: “The people will decide, Joe. But right now? My body feels 25 again. I think the ‘Asiong’ era is just beginning in the WWF!”

[[ POST-FIGHT PRESS CONFERENCE: THE GRILLING ]]

QUINITO HENSON: “George, you looked visibly shaken after that second-round flurry. Were you surprised by Erap’s conditioning? Was it something your camp simply didn’t anticipate?”

GEORGE ESTREGAN: “Quinito, we prepared for a ‘Senior Citizen’ fight. We thought he’d gas out after three minutes. We didn’t anticipate the wrestling. He’s been hiding those slams! My brother is a master of the surprise plot twist, and tonight, I was the one who got scripted out.”

KORINA SANCHEZ: “Mr. President, congratulations. Does this win mean you are looking to face Agatom for the right to represent the Philippines in the 2001 Intercontinental Tournament?”

ERAP: “Korina, Agatom is a hero. He represents the youth. But the Intercontinental belt needs a veteran. If the ‘Mafia’ wants a Davao vs. San Juan showdown to see who represents the flag, I am ready. Abangan ang susunod na kabanata!“

[[ 5 MORE QUESTIONS FROM THE FLOOR ]]

Q1 (Lito Lapid): “Erap, your footwork was very cinematic. Are you using ‘Stunt’ choreography in a real fight?” ERAP: “Lito, in a real fight, the only choreography is survival. But the timing? That’s from 100 movies, my friend.”

Q2 (Boy Abunda): “George, mirror, mirror on the wall… who is the real Action King after tonight?” ESTREGAN: “Tonight? It’s Joseph. He looked me in the eye and told me ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ before he slammed me. He’s the King.”

Q3 (Noli De Castro): “Mr. President, will this affect your political duties? Can you be a Superstar and a leader?” ERAP: “Noli, the people want a leader who can fight for them. Tonight, I fought. Tomorrow, I lead. It’s the same thing.”

Q4 (Gretchen Ho): “Erap, what was your recovery secret for this camp? You didn’t look tired at all.” ERAP: “Rice, dried fish, and the prayers of the Filipino people. And maybe some secret training in the mountains of Antipolo!”

Q5 (Unknown Blogger): “Will we see a rematch?” ESTREGAN: “Only if I can bring a stunt double next time!”

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: Erap is now 1-0. The P4P index is going to have a heart attack trying to rank a sitting President! ]]

THE DALLAS DESPERATION: SEAGAL STEALS THE CASE, ZULU JR. SENT PACKING!

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! I just got back from the Reunion Arena, and my ears are still ringing. We just witnessed the most disorganized, violent, and high-stakes car crash in WWF history. I’ve spent the last three hours rewatching the tapes in the production truck to make sense of the carnage.

The first-ever 8-Man Money in the Bank wasn’t a wrestling match—it was a survival test. Here is the official breakdown of how the “Aikido Master” saved his career and how the “Suspension Rule” claimed its first victim.

[[ THE MATCH REPORT: 20 FEET OF CHAOS ]]

The Early “Edge” Strategy

From the opening bell, Edge looked like a man with a plan—or a man who didn’t want to get hit. While Bruno Sammartino and Zulu Jr. were trading heavy leather, Edge was literally on the sidelines chatting with fans. He was playing the “long game,” conserving energy while the giants tenderized each other.

The High-Flying “Pinoy” Factor

For the first time, we saw Agatom go toe-to-toe with the heavyweights. The kid is fearless! He was hitting Lucha Libre arm-drags and springboards on guys triple his size. He, Golimar, and Super Mario turned the ring into a trampoline, but every time they got close to the gold, the “Mafia Boss” intervened.

Vince’s Ladder Sabotage

Vince McMahon might be the “Worst Fighter,” but he’s the best spoiler.

  • Bruno climbed first, only for Vince to shove the ladder. The Italian Legend was left dangling from the briefcase like a pendulum!

  • Golimar tried next, and again, Vince tipped the steel. The Indian masked warrior was hanging for dear life while the crowd went ballistic.

The Mid-Match Brutality

  • The Submission: At one point, Bruno actually trapped Edge in a brutal submission hold. In a normal match, Edge would have tapped. But here? It meant nothing. You have to climb.

  • The Spear: Once Edge finally got in the ring, he was a heat-seeking missile, Spearing everyone in sight—Agatom, Mario, and a dizzy Zulu Jr.

  • The Chair: Steven Seagal abandoned all “martial arts honor” and started swinging a steel chair like a madman, leveling anyone who breathed near him.

[[ THE FINAL CLIMB: DRAMA IN DALLAS ]]

The end was a blur of tired bodies and broken dreams. Zulu Jr. tried to hunt down Edge, but the big man’s gas tank was empty. Bruno and Golimar knocked each other off the summit one last time.

In the confusion, Seagal stunned Bruno and tossed him out like yesterday’s trash. Golimar and Seagal battled at the top of the rungs until Zulu Jr.—in a final act of desperation—pushed the ladder. Golimar fell, but Seagal managed to reset.

With everyone else sprawled on the floor or outside the ring, Steven Seagal climbed the rungs. Bruno was too exhausted to move. Edge realized his “waiting” strategy had backfired—he was three seconds too late.

[[ THE WINNER: STEVEN SEAGAL ]]

[[ THE AFTERMATH: THE COST OF DEFEAT ]]

Fighter Status The Fallout
STEVEN SEAGAL REINSTATED Win wipes his 3-loss record. He holds the MITB Briefcase!
ZULU JR. SUSPENDED 1-YEAR WWF BAN. Because he didn’t win, his 3 straight losses trigger the mandatory suspension. He’s out of the promotion until July 2027.
EDGE ACTIVE Failed his debut win. The “Opportunist” waited too long.
AGATOM ACTIVE Proved he belongs with the elites. His P4P stock is rising!

[[ THE THREAD: THE REUNION REACTION ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

SEAGAL WON?! 🥋 The chair shots were the key. He didn’t use Aikido; he used pro-wrestling 101. I’m gutted for Zulu Jr. though. A whole year away from the WWF is a death sentence for his career.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Edge played it too cool! 🤨 He was talking to the fans while Seagal was grabbing the contract. That’s a lesson learned the hard way. And Agatom… man, that kid has a heart of gold. He took a finisher on top of a ladder and still kept fighting!

User: HadoukenKid

Vince McMahon pushing the ladder while Bruno was hanging was the funniest/most evil thing I’ve ever seen. 🪜 The “Mafia” logic is real. But now Seagal has the briefcase… who is he going to cash in on? Kimbo Slice?

User: BeefSlammer69

RIP ZULU JR. 👊😤 See you in 2001, big man. Maybe you can learn how to climb a ladder in the off-season. Dallas was wild tonight!

WWF RELEASES NEW POUND-FOR-POUND RANKINGS! CHAOS ENSUES!

Posted on by Maria Cristina Aguillera

Yo! The WWF “Mafia” just blinked. After weeks of pure unadulterated criticism from fans, legends, and even congressmen, Vince McMahon has officially scrapped the old, buggy P4P system. They realized you can’t have a computer from 1995 trying to calculate the power of a Hadouken or the impact of a Rock Bottom.

[[ THE NEW SHAPE OF THE UNIVERSE: THE GONZAGA PROTOCOL ]]

Enter Neil John Gonzaga, a brilliant Filipino programmer who the WWF secretly flew to Stamford to “fix” the problem. Gonzaga threw out the “Opinion Metric” and introduced a mathematical standard: THE P4P INDEX.

The Gonzaga Protocol calculates:

  1. Strength of Schedule (SOS): Who did you beat? Was it a jobber or a champion?

  2. Finishing Efficiency (FE): Did you win by DQ, or did you make them quit?

  3. Multiverse Coefficient: How your unique style (Boxing, SF, MMA, WWF) translates against other combat types.

[[ THE OFFICIAL NEW WWF PFP RANKINGS ]]

July 19, 2000 – Initial Release

# Pic Superstar Division Record Last 5 P4P Index
1 Kimbo Slice Heavy 3-0-0 W W W 3.75
2 The Rock Heavy 3-0-0 W W W 2.75
3 Hulk Hogan Heavy 2-0-0 W W 2.25
4 Shane McMahon Heavy 2-0-0 W W 2.00
5 Stone Cold Heavy 2-0-0 W W 2.00
6 Bob Sapp Super 2-0-0 W W 2.00
7 Rob Van Dam Lt. Hvy 2-0-0 W W 1.75
8 Prince Naseem Box 1-0-0 W 1.75
9 Ted DiBiase Heavy 2-0-0 W W 1.75
10 Rickson Gracie MMA 1-0-0 W 1.75

[[ OLD VS. NEW: WHAT CHANGED? ]]

OLD RANK NEW RANK THE SHIFT
#1 Kimbo (8 Score) #1 Kimbo (3.75 Index) Kimbo remains #1, but his dominance is “quantified.” 3-0 with 3 KOs is undeniable, even by a modern computer.
#2 Prince Naseem (4) #8 Prince Naseem (1.75) The Prince took a massive hit. The algorithm says a Featherweight (126lb) win, even a spectacular one, can’t be rated higher than a Heavyweight win in a universal context.
#3 Rickson Gracie (4) #10 Rickson Gracie (1.75) Same issue as Naseem. MMA efficiency is respected, but the “Gracie” name no longer gives automatic top-tier billing.
#4 The Rock (4) #2 The Rock (2.75) THE ASCENSION. Rock is 3-0 against tough opponents (like Triple H and Big Show). The SOS factor rocketed him to #2.
#5 Ted DiBiase (3) #9 Ted DiBiase (1.75) Dropped. Beating local talent doesn’t count as much as the new standard demands.
(New Entry) #3 Hulk Hogan (2.25) The algorithm respect the 2-0 record and the historical magnitude of his wins (Andre, Savage).
(New Entry) #4 Shane McMahon (2.00) SHOCKER. SOS score is high because of his “daredevil” style against big stars. Plus, it’s Shane. The algorithm found a way.

[[ THE MULTIVERSE MELTDOWN: CELEBRITY REACTIONS ]]

I’ve gathered quotes from the biggest names in sports, politics, and the street to see if this new math passes the “Smell Test.”

  • THE ROCK (#2): > “The Rock sees the new list. The Rock sees ‘2.75.’ Finally, the algorithm has come back… to reality! The Great One is 3-0. Kimbo is 3-0. It’s a race to the top. But look at #3… #3 is a legend, but #2 is ‘The People’s Contender.’ Keep calculating, Gonzaga. The math is catching up to the man!”

  • HULK HOGAN (#3): > “Well let me tell you something, programmer John! You got it right, brother! 2-0 is the truth! The 24-inch pythons and Hulkamania are ranked exactly where they belong—at the absolute top of the legends. But watch out, Kimbo… #3 isn’t where Hogan stops!”

  • TRIPLE H (Unranked): > (Irate, reportedly destroying a monitor) > “A recursive loop?! I’M UNRANKED?! Shane is #4 and I’m zero?! This Gonzaga is a fraud! You think your algorithm can factor in a Sledgehammer? You think your index can measure my obsession? If this ‘Mafia’ thinks this list is official, they’re going to find out what ‘Evolution’ really means!”

  • VINCE MCMAHON (Unranked): > “This is progress! The old system was arbitrary, archaic. The new Gonzaga Protocol is scientific, predictable, and fair. As for Shane at #4… well, the numbers don’t lie. He’s a winner! Triple H? He’s currently undergoing a ‘statistical recalibration.'”

  • KEN MASTERS (Unranked): > “I’m not on the list? Fine. The algorithm doesn’t appreciate the flaming Shoryuken. But I’m watching Prince Naseem (#8). He’s the only other guy with the real flair. I’m coming for that spot, purely to look cooler than Ryu on a spreadsheet.”

  • OSCAR DE LA HOYA (Unranked): > “Featherweights are #8? That’s disrespectful. Boxing skill is universal. Naseem should be Top 5. But I’m happy to see the WWF structure finally catching up to the real competitive world.”

  • JOE ROGAN (Analyst): > “Kimbo at #1 is still the absolute correct call. The FE (Finishing Efficiency) metric in the new code confirms it. But Rickson Gracie at #10? That’s going to cause a rift in the jiu-jitsu community. The ‘Gonzaga Protocol’ just declared war on Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.”

  • BOY ABUNDA (Philippines Showbiz): > (Leaning in with profound seriousness) > “Ang bagong listahan… ito ay isang ‘Kuwento ng Katotohanan’ (Story of Truth). Proud ako kay Neil John Gonzaga! Isang Pinoy ang nag-ayos ng gulo! Pero tanong ko lang kay Kimbo: Sino ka sa harap ng iyong sariling index? Who are you, when the computer says you are #1?”

  • KRIS AQUINO (Philippines Showbiz): > “Oh my goodness! I was so emotional! A Filipino programmer fixed the list! 😭 I love you, Neil! But wait, look at The Rock (#2)! So charismatic! And Shane… #4?! That is so nakakagulat (surprising)! But I’m so happy the Philippines is leading the world of tech in WWF!”

[[ THE SHOCKERS: THE WILDCARDS REACT ]]

  1. THE DALAI LAMA: > (Reportedly shown the list by a traveling monk) > “The list shows human desire for order in chaos. Rankings are temporary illusions. Whether one is #1 or #10, the inner P4P index is the true measure. Also, Kimbo seems to be quite the powerful presence.”

  2. KIM JONG IL: > (During the ongoing Inter-Korea Summit) > “The American algorithm places ‘Kimbo’ at the top, but it is incomplete. It lacks a true ‘Kaizen’ of a socialist-trained soldier. I require my heavyweight to be on this list by August. If not, the protocol will be deemed ‘Unfair Sanctions.'”

  3. THE GHOST OF ANDRE THE GIANT: > (Channeling through a medium in Stamford) > “I see Hogan at #3. I am gone, but I am still stronger. The index should have me at infinity. I am watching. You are all so small.”

[[ THE THREAD: MAFIA MATHEMATICS ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

GONZAGA IS THE REAL PFP CHAMPION!! 🖥️ Finally, a system that makes sense. Kimbo vs Rock is the only fight that matters. And Shane McMahon at #4?! That is the greatest troll job in WWF history.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Hogan at #3 is a joke! He’s only had two fights in 2000. SOS (Strength of Schedule) doesn’t mean anything if you aren’t active. Prince Naseem got absolutely robbed by this new code.

User: HadoukenKid

Ken Masters wasn’t ranked, but he got the highest “Cool Factor” score (2.5) in the hidden variables. I want to see how Agatom translates into this new index!

User: BeefSlammer69

TRIPLE H LOST IT!! 👊😤 If he’s not on the list, he’s going to make sure nobody is on the list by SummerSlam. This July is going to be the heaviest month ever!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that the “Mafia” is already trying to hack the Gonzaga Protocol to artificially increase the scores of the McMahon family. The programmers are currently in a digital shootout with the Stamford mainframe! ]]

THE “LAST CHANCE” LADDER: MONEY IN THE BANK LINEUP FINALIZED!

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! The “Mafia” just dropped the official list for the first-ever Money in the Bank, and it’s not what anyone expected. This isn’t just a match for a title shot—for some of these guys, it’s a Desperation Derby.

With the Super Heavyweights busy in the Titan Clash and the Light Heavyweight division locked in a tournament battle between The Prototype and Kurt Angle (winner faces RVD at SummerSlam!), the MITB has become a “Redemption Round” for the underdogs and the unproven.

[[ THE OFFICIAL MONEY IN THE BANK 8-MAN LINEUP ]]

The mechanics remain the same: Climb the ladder, grab the case, earn a shot at the Vacant Undisputed World Title. But the stakes? Life or death for their WWF careers.

  1. AGATOM (Cruiserweight): The Filipino High Flyer. He and Golimar are the only ones with ladder experience in the WWF.

  2. GOLIMAR (Cruiserweight): The masked enigma who already beat Agatom once. He’s the favorite to reach the top first.

  3. ZULU JR. (Super Heavyweight): THE HIGH STAKES. Zulu Jr. has 3 straight losses. One more and he’s hit with the Automatic 1-Year Suspension (The “Anti-Farming” Rule). This is his only way to stay on the roster.

  4. STEVEN SEAGAL (Light Heavyweight): Also sitting on 3 losses. The Aikido master is fighting for his professional life.

  5. VINCE MCMAHON (Heavyweight): Voted the “Worst WWF Fighter” in the division. He’s entering his own match to prove he’s not just a suit.

  6. SUPER MARIO (Cruiserweight): 0 wins, 2 losses. He needs a miracle “Power-Up” to get past the 116lb Agatom.

  7. EDGE (Heavyweight): The debut! He was chosen over Scott Hall to bring “New Blood” to the ladder.

  8. BRUNO SAMMARTINO (Heavyweight): The “People’s Choice” by default. After his April 1st loss to Andre, the legend is looking to prove the old school still has “Upward Mobility.”

[[ THE “SUSPENSION SQUAD” & THE WWF REMEDY ]]

The WWF is for the elite. 3 straight losses usually means a 1-year ban to prevent other fighters from “farming” easy wins off you. However, the “Mafia” has offered a loophole: Special Event Redemption. * If you win a “Special Match” (MITB, Royal Rumble, or Survivor Series), your losses are wiped, and you are reinstated.

[[ WHAT ARE THE RUMORED SPECIAL MATCHES? ]]

While the MITB is the focus for July, whispers of two other “Massacre” formats are leaking from Stamford:

1. THE ROYAL RUMBLE

  • The Rumor: 30 men. One ring.

  • The Catch: Two men start, and every 2 minutes, a new fighter enters. The only way to lose is to be thrown over the top rope and have both feet touch the floor.

  • The Prize: Usually a main event spot at the biggest show of the year. It’s a test of stamina and “Ring IQ.”

2. SURVIVOR SERIES

  • The Rumor: “Tag Team Elimination” on a massive scale.

  • The Catch: It’s 4v4 or 5v5. When you get pinned or submit, you’re out, but your team keeps fighting.

  • The Vibe: This is where “Stables” like the nWo or the rumored “Pinoy Invasion” will truly go to war. It’s about who has the most loyal allies when the chips are down.

[[ THE THREAD: THE UNDERDOG UPRISING ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

ZULU JR. AND SEAGAL ON THE BRINK!! 😱 If they don’t win this, we don’t see them for a year. That is a massive penalty. I bet Seagal tries to use a “Chair-Aikido” move to knock Agatom off the ladder.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Vince McMahon in the match he created? 🤡 He’s going to get destroyed. But watch out for Edge. If he’s as good as the scouting reports say, he might steal that briefcase while everyone is focused on the “Suspension Squad.”

User: HadoukenKid

Agatom vs Golimar II… but with a ladder! 🪜 This is the real story. Agatom knows the heights, but can he handle a 300lb Bruno Sammartino shaking the base of the ladder?

User: BeefSlammer69

ROYAL RUMBLE?! 👊😤 30 men?! Imagine Kimbo Slice entering at #1 and knocking out 29 people in a row. That’s the dream. But for now, I’m rooting for Super Mario. Give the plumber a win! 🍄💥

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that Zulu Jr. has been seen practicing “Vertical Splashes.” If a Super Heavyweight jumps off a 20-foot ladder, the Dallas arena might not survive the night! ]]

JUNE 15 SHOCKER: THE CLOWN IS OUT, THE ANVIL IS IN!

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! I just got off the phone with my contact near the Allstate Arena, and the June 15th card has been flipped upside down. If you were looking forward to seeing The Rock lay the smackdown on a clown, you’re going to have to wait.

The Rock vs. Doink is OFFICIALLY CANCELLED.

[[ THE REASON: THE “JOY BUZZER” INCIDENT ]]

Reports from backstage say that during a pre-show “prank” gone wrong, Doink attempted to use a modified, high-voltage joy buzzer on a WWF production assistant. The “Mafia” security (led by the Big Boss Man) didn’t find it funny. Doink was forcibly removed from the building for “endangering staff,” leaving The Rock without an opponent just hours before bell time.

[[ THE REPLACEMENT: JIM “THE ANVIL” NEIDHART ]]

Vince didn’t scramble for a local jobber. Instead, he reached into the “Hart Foundation” archives. Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart has officially signed his new WWF contract and has been waiting in the wings for weeks. With Doink out, The Anvil is finally making his 2000 debut. This isn’t a comedy match anymore—it’s a powerhouse collision.

[[ TALE OF THE TAPE: THE POWERHOUSE CLASH ]]

FEATURE THE ROCK JIM “THE ANVIL” NEIDHART
Height 6’5″ 6’2″
Weight 275 lbs 280 lbs
Experience 4 Years (Current Peak) 20+ Years (Legend Status)
Style Electrifying High-Impact Powerhouse / Stampede Style
Finisher Rock Bottom Anvil Flattener / Powerslam

[[ THE EXPERTS WEIGH IN ]]

JOE ROGAN (UFC/MMA Analyst)

“This is actually a much better fight for The Rock’s development. Doink was a gimmick; Neidhart is a stone-cold killer from the Hart Dungeon. 🇨🇦 He has that ‘Old School’ strength that you can’t teach. If Neidhart gets those arms around Rock for a bearhug, we’re going to see if the ‘Brahma Bull’ can actually handle real, world-class pressure. This is a massive test for the People’s Champion.”

JIM LAMPLEY (HBO Boxing)

“BANG! What a turn of events! The clown is sent packing and in walks a man who throws anvils for fun! Neidhart brings a level of veteran savvy that The Rock hasn’t faced since Vader. Can Rock’s speed overcome the sheer density of The Anvil? It’s a classic power-vs-charisma matchup that has Chicago shaking before the first bell!”

[[ THE THREAD: NEIDHART’S RETURN ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

THE ANVIL IS BACK!! 👊 I grew up watching the Hart Foundation. Seeing him go up against The Rock is a dream match I never expected in 2000. Neidhart is gonna show Rock what “Stiff” really means.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    I’m glad the clown is gone. 🤡 Wrestling needs more guys like Neidhart. But let’s be real—The Rock is too fast. He’s gonna hit that People’s Elbow and the arena is going to explode. The Anvil is a legend, but Rock is the future.

User: HadoukenKid

The Rock vs a Hart Dungeon graduate? 🏰 This is going to be a technical clinic. I bet Bret Hart is watching this from home, smiling. If Neidhart wins, does he join the “WWF Mafia”?

User: BeefSlammer69

ANVIL VS ROCK!! 💥 I want to see a double clothesline that levels the ring! I’m putting my money on Neidhart for the upset. You don’t mess with the pink and black attack! 👊😤

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that Neidhart’s contract has a “Family Clause.” If he wins tonight, could we see more of the Hart family returning to take on the nWo? ]]

*** [ WWF_UNDERGROUND_FORUM ] *** Topic: LEAKED: THE ROCK’S BACKSTAGE RAGE & THE “ANVIL” AMBUSH

[ ADMIN_NEIL ] – Posted: June 15, 2000 @ 08:30 PM

Yo! The Allstate Arena is in a state of absolute chaos. I just got a grainy handheld clip from a contact in the production truck. If you thought The Rock was going to be happy about a “Day Off” because the Clown got fired, you don’t know the Brahma Bull.

[[ THE LEAKED FOOTAGE: BACKSTAGE AT CHICAGO ]]

The video starts with The Rock pacing outside Vince McMahon’s office. He’s already in his trunks, the Brahma Bull tattoo glistening under the hallway lights. He looks less like an entertainer and more like a predator whose meal just got taken away.

The Rock (to a trembling Producer):

“So let The Rock get this straight… the ‘Mafia’ sends a clown to do a man’s job, the clown decides to play with electricity, and now The Rock is supposed to just go home? You think The Rock flew to Chicago to sit in a locker room and eat a ham sandwich? You think the millions—and millions—of the Rock’s fans paid their hard-earned money to see a ‘Card Subject to Change’ sign?!”

Just then, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart walks into the frame. He’s wearing the classic pink and black, laughing that signature maniacal laugh. He gets right in Rock’s face, the goatee practically twitching with intensity.

The Anvil:

“Hahahaha! Lay smackdown on a clown, Rock? Why don’t you try to move an ANVIL?! I’ve been sitting in the basement of the Hart Dungeon waiting for a contract that meant something. Vince gave me the pen, and I’m giving you the beating! Welcome back to the real world, kid!”

The Rock’s Reaction: Rock doesn’t say a word. He just slowly removes his sunglasses, drops them into the hands of the terrified producer, and gives Neidhart the People’s Eyebrow. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a folding chair. The clip ends with Rock walking toward the curtain, shouting, “Tell the timekeeper to get ready… because The Rock is about to drop an Anvil on Chicago!”

[[ THE EXPERTS WEIGH IN ]]

JOE ROGAN (UFC/MMA Analyst)

“This is the most dangerous ‘Pivot’ I’ve ever seen. The Rock was prepared for a circus; now he’s in a shark tank. Neidhart has that Stu Hart ‘Catch’ wrestling background. If he gets a hold of Rock’s wrist, he can snap it in four places before the ref even counts to one. This isn’t about the ‘People’s Elbow’ anymore; this is about survival.”

JIM LAMPLEY (HBO Boxing)

“BANG! From the ridiculous to the sublime! We go from a prankster in facepaint to a two-time Tag Team Champion with the strength of a freight train. The Rock has momentum from the Vader and Hurricane wins, but Neidhart is a fresh, angry veteran with everything to prove. This is the definition of a ‘Trap Match’!”

[[ THE THREAD: THE CHICAGO STAMPEDE ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

THE ANVIL IN 2000!! 👊 Seeing that backstage footage gave me chills. Rock looked like he wanted to rip Neidhart’s head off. This is way better than a Doink match. Neidhart is gonna test that “People’s Champ” hype for real.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Did you see Rock’s face? 🤨 He didn’t even blink when Neidhart started laughing. After what he did to Vader and that massive People’s Elbow on The Hurricane, I think Rock is untouchable right now. Anvil is gonna get Rock Bottomed into the 300 level.

User: HadoukenKid

The Hurricane was just a warm-up. The Anvil is the final boss of the powerhouses. If Rock wins this, he’s definitely the #1 contender for the World Title. But man, Neidhart looks like he’s in the best shape of his life.

User: BeefSlammer69

CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL VS ROCK BOTTOM!! 💥 I’m in the building right now and the crowd is losing it. Nobody misses the clown. Give us the Harts! Give us the Bulls! 👊😤

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m standing by for the finish. Word is the “Mafia” is watching this match very closely to see if Rock is ready for the Main Event at SummerSlam. ]]

THE CHICAGO CRASH: HELL IN A CELL 2000 POST-MATCH WRAP-UP

Posted on by Chinito Henson

The Allstate Arena is still vibrating. What started as a “Vocal Minority” protest ended in a standing ovation that might have actually cracked the Chicago skyline. From the blood-stained steel of the Cell to the controversial “UFC” submissions, June has officially reset the hierarchy of the fighting world.

1. THE STREETS REMAIN MEAN: KIMBO GOES 3-0

Result: Kimbo Slice def. Rey Zulu Jr. via K.O. (4:12) The “Brawler from the Backyard” continues his meteoric rise. While Rey Zulu Jr. fought with the heart of his father, King Zulu, and actually wobbled Kimbo with a massive overhand in the opening minute, the 0-2 Brazilian Giant couldn’t close the deal.

  • The Reaction: King Zulu was seen ringside, visibly frustrated, reportedly calling for a “Traditional Vale Tudo” rematch.

  • What’s Next for Kimbo? Fans are calling for a “Step Up.” Potential June/July opponents: Mark Henry, Bob Sapp, or even a brawling match with Butterbean.

2. TECHNICAL SNORE: GRACIE RECLAIMS THE GOLD

Result: Royce Gracie def. Ken Shamrock via Submission (Round 2) In a match that many fans labeled “Boring,” the technical mastery of the Gracie family proved too much for the “World’s Most Dangerous Man.”

  • The Fallout: While the purists loved the hip-control, the Chicago crowd was restless.

  • Trilogy? With the Rematch Clause triggered, a July trilogy is almost certain, but Shamrock looks rattled. He’s claiming the “WWF Mafia” fast-counted the stand-ups.

3. THE GREENWICH GRAPPLE: SHANE STUNS ANGLE

Result: Shane McMahon def. Kurt Angle via Submission (Rear Naked Choke) CONTROVERSY ALERT. In the upset of the night, Shane-O-Mac forced the Olympic Gold Medalist to “tap”—or did he?

  • The Protest: Angle and his supporters are livid, claiming the referee called a “Phantom Tap.”

  • The Analysis: Shane didn’t even need the controversy; he held his own in the clinch for 15 minutes. Does Shane move on to challenge Gracie for the UFC Belt, or is a “Submission Only” rematch with Angle the only way to settle the score?

4. THE SPIRIT PREVAILS: WARRIOR SHREDS THE SHREDDER

Result: Ultimate Warrior def. Mad Dogg via Pinfall The “Outback Shredder” surfboard never even touched the Warrior’s skin. Despite the hype, Mad Dogg weighed in at a “small” 280 lbs and looked overwhelmed by the 90s-peak intensity.

  • The Clean Sweep: Warrior used zero weapons and zero dirty tactics, simply dominating the “Amish Punk” with raw power.

  • The Verdict: Mad Dogg’s attempt at “Identity Theft” failed. Warrior is back. Next stop? A potential clash with The Rock or the winner of the USA Tournament.

5. THE EMPEROR DEBUTS: SAGAT TAKES CHICAGO

Result: Sagat def. Kevin Nash via Pinfall The “God of Muay Thai” is human after all. Sagat won his US debut, but it wasn’t the “Tiger Shot” massacre the dark web predicted.

  • The Performance: Sagat adapted to the WWF style, using eye-pokes and corner distractions from Ken Masters and Adon. While the Tiger Knee landed, Nash survived two of them, proving the “Giant” hasn’t lost his 90s-peak durability.

  • The Reality: Sagat looked like a high-tier wrestler, not a myth. But a win is a win.

MAIN EVENT: THE FUNERAL IN THE CAGE

THE UNDERTAKER vs. MICK FOLEY (AS CACTUS JACK)

This wasn’t a match; it was a religious experience. Cactus Jack dominated the first ten minutes, hitting Taker with everything including the kitchen sink. In a shocking moment, Taker locked in a triangle choke early, but appeared to let go before Foley could tap—as if he wanted the violence to continue.

The Finish: The two scaled the cage, mirroring their 1998 war. In a moment that silenced 18,000 people, Taker slammed Foley through the roof of the cell, sending him 20 feet down to the mat. Taker dropped down, covered the legend, and the 1-2-3 felt like a hammer on a coffin.

[[ THE AFTERMATH THREAD ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

I’m still shaking. 😭 Foley falling through the cage again? How is that man still breathing? Taker letting go of the submission was the scariest part—he literally wanted to drop him from the top. That’s some ‘Mafia’ hitman energy right there.

User: Raw_Is_War_2000

SHANE BEAT ANGLE?! 🤯 I don’t care if it was a “Phantom Tap,” Shane is a legit shooter now. If he fights Gracie next, I’m betting my house on the McMahon. Also, Sagat was a bit of a letdown. I wanted to see him blow a hole through Nash’s chest.

User: HadoukenKid

Ken Masters in Sagat’s corner was the real MVP. The way he distracted the ref while Sagat landed that low-blow? Pure class. 🕶️ But yeah, the “Tiger Knee” looks nerfed in the WWF. Maybe it’s the humidity in Chicago?

User: BeefSlammer69

BUTTERBEAN SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE!! 🥩 Imagine Bean vs Taker on top of that cage. Bean would have punched Taker through the floor and into the basement! Chicago Carnage was 10/10. I want the tacks next time!! 👊😤

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: Medical reports say Foley is “stable” but will be out for at least 6 months.]]

Full Hell in a Cell Fight Card Revealed!

Posted on by Maria Cristina Aguillera

Yo, the server is absolutely melting. I just got the final, 100% confirmed fight card for tonight’s PPV in Chicago. If you thought the “Boxing Invasion” was wild, wait until you see who just stepped off a plane from Thailand. The “Mafia” has outdone themselves—this is the most “Peak 90s-meets-2000” card in history.

[[ CHICAGO CARNAGE: THE FINAL CARD ]]

1. THE OPENER: STREET FIGHTER REMATCH

Kimbo Slice (2-0) vs. Rey Zulu Jr. (0-2)

  • The Beef: Kimbo is looking for the hat-trick. Zulu Jr. is desperate to prove his lineage isn’t just a memory. Expect bare-knuckle energy and a very short clock. Kimbo is the heavy favorite to go 3-0.

2. UFC WORLD TITLE FIGHT (TRILOGY CLAUSE)

Ken Shamrock (C) vs. Royce Gracie

  • The History: Shamrock took the belt via TKO back on Feb 13th, but the Gracie camp called it a fluke.

  • The Stakes: Pure UFC rules. No ropes, no pins, just tap or nap. There is a rematch clause in the contract—if Royce wins, we’re looking at the ultimate trilogy fight in July.

3. UFC #1 CONTENDER MATCH

Kurt Angle vs. Shane McMahon

  • The Vibe: Mid-card chaos. Angle is the favorite, but Shane-O-Mac has been training with “secret shooters.” The winner gets the next shot at the Shamrock/Gracie winner. Shane’s black eye from training is proof he’s taking this “shoot” seriously.

4. THE “IDENTITY” WAR (EXTREME RULES)

Mad Dogg vs. The Ultimate Warrior

  • The Weapon: The “Outback Shredder” (that serrated steel surfboard) has been spotted at ringside. Mad Dogg wants the name. Warrior wants to protect the myth. This is going to be the bloodiest match of the night.

5. THE SURPRISE DEBUT: THE EMPEROR VS. THE GIANT

Sagat (0-0) vs. Kevin Nash (0-1)

  • The Shocker: It’s HIM. 7’4″, eye patch, and a massive scar across his chest (rumor is a kid in a gi gave it to him in Japan). This is Sagat’s first time on US soil and his first pro-wrestling sanctioned match.

  • The Corners: Sagat has Ken Masters, Adon, and Gen in his corner. Nash is backed by Hulk Hogan and the newly signed Scott Hall. The “Wolfpac” vs. “Muay Thai Royalty.” This is legendary.

6. THE MAIN EVENT: HELL IN A CELL

The Undertaker vs. Mick Foley

  • The Controversy: Despite the “Vocal Minority” of fans protesting the safety of the match, the Cell is lowering. Foley is reportedly refusing medical checks. Taker is silent. Chicago is ready for a funeral.

[[ THE THREAD: PPV PREDICTIONS ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

SAGAT IS HERE?! 🐯 Scar and all! Seeing him stand next to Kevin Nash is gonna be insane. Nash is 0-1 and he’s facing a guy who can throw Tiger Shots? RIP Big Sexy. Also, Scott Hall joining Hogan? The nWo is basically invading the Street Fighter camp.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Ken Masters being in Sagat’s corner is the real twist. I thought they hated each other! 🕵️‍♂️ Maybe the “WWF Mafia” is so strong they had to team up. And Kimbo 3-0 is a lock. Zulu Jr. doesn’t have the chin for it.

User: HadoukenKid

The chest scar on Sagat looks fresh. 🐉 If Nash hits a Jackknife Powerbomb on that scar, Sagat might actually explode. But with Gen and Adon there? No one is interfering in that match. That’s a hit-squad.

User: BeefSlammer69

FOLEY IN THE CELL!! 🎭 I don’t care about the protestors. I want to see the tacks. I want to see the blood. And I want to see Sagat Tiger Uppercut Hogan off the apron!! 👊😤

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing Scott Hall might try to “Survey the Group” during the Sagat match. Keep your eyes on the entrance ramp. The Allstate Arena is about to explode! ]]

WWF ARCHIVE: June 2000 “Las Vegas Lockdown” Results

Posted on by Maria Cristina Aguillera

The Las Vegas Lockdown has officially concluded, and the combat sports world is reeling. While the WWF prepares for the “Chicago Carnage” of Hell in a Cell, the 56k modems are melting down over the results from Nevada. The “Boxing Invasion” wasn’t just a gimmick—it was a demolition.

Here is the restored archive from June 5, 2000.

WWF ARCHIVE: June 2000 “Las Vegas Lockdown” Results

Author: Neil Kim Park (Senior Fight Historian)

1. The “Beast” Unleashed: Butterbean vs. Hongman Choi

Result: Butterbean def. Hongman Choi via K.O. (3:22)

The Analysis: In a performance that erased any doubt about boxing power, Butterbean dismantled the 7’2″ Choi in less than three minutes. Surprisingly, Bean showcased a “hybrid” style, utilizing clinch-throws and heavy leg kicks that gassed the giant early. After three massive knockdowns, Choi was unable to answer the 10-count.

  • The Fallout: Butterbean has officially entered the “June Gauntlet.” He is scheduled to fight every week this month to prove the “Sweet Science” is the supreme discipline.

2. The Miracle in the Desert: Prince Naseem vs. Giant Gonzalez

Result: Prince Naseem Hamed def. Giant Gonzalez via Pinfall (7:08)

The Analysis: This was the most “unreal” fight of the 2000s. Naz entered at a heavier 158 lbs, sacrificing speed for durability.

  • The Drama: Gonzalez nearly ended the fight early with a crushing pin, leaving the undefeated boxer visibly hurt for the first time in his career.

  • The Finish: Naz shocked the world by abandoning traditional boxing, utilizing Lucha Libre dropkicks to soften the Giant’s base. In a final, physics-defying moment, the Prince executed a high-flying Lucha finisher to pin the 7’6″ monster.

[[ CELEBRITY & ANALYST REACTION THREAD ]]

Joe Rogan (The “Truth-Seeker”):

“Did you see Naz? He was doing Hurricanranas! A world-class boxer just beat a 7-foot giant with Lucha Libre. If you told me this in April, I’d say you were high. But Butterbean? That wasn’t luck. That was a 400lb wrecking ball with wrestling fundamentals. The ‘Invaders’ are evolving, man. The WWF locker room should be terrified.”

Mike Tyson (Boxing Legend):

“Butterbean is a bad, bad man. He showed those wrestling guys that a punch is a punch, no matter how tall you are. And Naz? He’s got the heart of a lion. He went into the ‘Shadow’ and came out with the win. Boxing 2, WWF 0. Deal with it.”

The Rock (Indie Sensation):

“The Rock sees the Prince dancing. The Rock sees the Bean punching. It’s cute. But while they’re playing ‘Crossover,’ The Rock is getting ready to slap the face off a clown in June. You want ‘Electrifying’? Wait until the People’s Champion gets his hands on these ‘Invaders’ in the fall.”

[[ HELL IN A CELL: CHICAGO CARNAGE CARD ]]

Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, IL

Matchup Stipulation The “Heat” Level
Undertaker vs. Mick Foley Hell in a Cell 10/10 (The Rematch)
Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle UFC Rules 8/10 (Prove-it Match)
Ken Shamrock vs. Royce Gracie Non-Title Rematch 9/10 (Grudge)
Ultimate Warrior vs. Road Kill “Battle for the Name” 7/10 (Indie vs. Legend)

Special Report: Shane McMahon has officially relinquished his mandatory challenger status to focus on Kurt Angle. Shane-O-Mac claims the Shamrock win was “pure skill,” and he’s going into the Octagon-style cage with an Olympic gold medalist to prove he is the elite “McMahon Fighter.”

The Teenager Comment Section (2000s Era)

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

NAZ PINNED GONZALEZ?!?! 😱 My mind is blown. I thought the ‘Mountain’ was gonna sit on him. Boxing fans are gonna be so annoying on IRC tonight lol. But for real, Shane vs Kurt Angle under UFC rules? Shane is gonna get his limbs turned into pretzels. 🥨 Angle is 2-0 and he’s a machine. RIP Shane.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Shane has ‘Genetic Power’ though! He’s crazy enough to jump off the top of the cell. But yeah, Angle is scary. Also, Road Kill is an Australian punk? I saw his tapes on a LimeWire leak. He’s wild, but the Ultimate Warrior is gonna snort him like a pixie stick. 😤

User: HadoukenKid

Butterbean is a tank. He looks bigger than his 5’11 offiicial measurements, I think he is actually 6’3″ and Hang Man Choi only 6’11. You know how much these promoters inflate or deflate these numbers. Anyways🚜 Choi didn’t even know what hit him. If Bean keeps fighting every week, he’s gonna be 5-0 by July. Why isn’t he in the USA Tournament? Oh wait, I forgot—the Mafia wants Savage vs DiBiase. 🙄 They’re hiding the real killers in the Vegas cards. #FreeTheBean

User: Sk8er_Gurl_99

Undertaker vs Foley in Chicago… I’m literally shaking. 😭 Foley already lost in May, if he goes into the Cell he’s gonna end up in a wheelchair. This is the darkest timeline. I hope the ‘Deadman’ shows some mercy. 🕯️💀

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m working on getting the pre-match medical scans for Foley. The rumors say he’s already fighting with 3 broken ribs. Stay tuned. ]]