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THE DALLAS DISPATCH: HEARTBREAK, HUSTLE, AND THE HUDDLED MASSES

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Greetings from the ringside here at the Reunion Arena! If the opening Money in the Bank ladder match was a chaotic sprint to the heavens, the rest of the card was a grueling marathon through the trenches. We saw legends stumble, rookies rise, and the very foundations of the Pound-for-Pound rankings shaken to the core. Grab your binoculars, folks; we’re diving deep into the tape.

[[ THE HEAVYWEIGHT HAIL MARYS ]]

Match 2: Birdie def. Butterbean (Pinfall) The weight of expectations is a heavy burden, and tonight, Butterbean felt every ounce of it. This was his first Super-Heavyweight foray since his clash with Hong-man Choi, and the difference was stark. While he’s tasted the power of Bennie Joe, it was nothing compared to the skull-cracking headbutts of the London brawler, Birdie. The “King of the 4-Rounders” showed heart, twice trashing the commentator’s table with Birdie’s body, looking for a count-out win. But Birdie’s chin is made of granite and bad intentions. He beat the ten-count, weathered the storm, and delivered a final, concussive headbutt that silenced the Dallas crowd. Butterbean’s undefeated streak is over; the “Lock of the Night” has been broken.

Match 3: Vader def. Kane (Domination) Highly anticipated? Yes. A contest? Hardly. The mysterious Kane, who has been tearing through the indies looking for his “brother,” ran into a brick wall named Vader. In only his second WWF appearance, Vader looked like a man possessed. Kane never even managed to find his footing. This performance validates The Rock’s #2 P4P ranking—Vader is a monster, and Kane found out that “Hellfire” doesn’t burn the “Mastodon.”

[[ THE PURITY OF THE SPORT ]]

Match 4: Kurt Angle def. The Prototype (Submission) This, my friends, was the “Match of the Night.” John Cena—known here as The Prototype—walked into the lion’s den and didn’t blink. He introduced the world to “Ruthless Aggression,” going toe-to-toe with an Olympic Gold Medalist. Angle looked for the finish early with multiple transitions, but the young Cena persevered with a grit that suggests he belongs in the main event sooner rather than later. Ultimately, the veteran savvy of Angle won out, as he locked in the Ankle Lock until the rookie had no choice but to tap.

Match 6: Bret Hart def. Rowdy Roddy Piper (Pinfall) A clash of icons looking for redemption. Bret, coming off a loss to Yokozuna, looked uncharacteristically nervous. He made rookie mistakes—poor timing and pinning Piper too close to the ropes—that nearly cost him. However, “The Hitman” found his rhythm in the closing minutes. Piper, now 0-2, is staring down the barrel of a one-year suspension if he loses his next bout. A somber night for the Scotsman, but a vital 1-1 reset for Hart.

[[ DRAMA IN THE CLIQUE ]]

Match 5: Triple H def. X-Pac (The Trilogy Finale) The brotherhood is fractured, but perhaps not broken. Triple H entered the ring alone, facing an X-Pac flanked by Scott Hall and Shawn Michaels. The betrayal fueled “The Game.” He dominated the match, proving he belongs in the same breath as Austin and Rock. Despite the dirty tactics from the corner, Triple H secured the pin. The Shock: After the bell, the four “Kliq” members hugged in the ring. The crowd didn’t know whether to cheer the reunion or boo the arrogance. One man who wasn’t confused? Vince McMahon. The boss was seen backstage looking absolutely livid at this display of “independent” unity.

[[ THE SAMOAN CIVIL WAR ]]

Match 7: Yokozuna def. Rikishi (Banzai Drop) This was personal. Yokozuna entered with Sumo legend Akebono Taro, a move seen as a slight to his Samoan roots. Rikishi, backed by Umaga and Teila Tuli, started hot with youth and speed. But he got greedy. He looked for the big move too early and left an opening. Yokozuna flattened him with two consecutive Banzai Drops. Short, brutal, and a clear message: The old guard isn’t ready to step aside.

[[ THE MAIN EVENT: THE GIANT AWAKENS ]]

Match 8: Big Show def. Sagat (Upset of the Century) Dallas was ready for Muay Thai brilliance; they got a demolition derby. Sagat, missing his corner (Ken Masters and Adon), looked human for the first time. The “King of Muay Thai” appeared slow, his strikes bouncing off the 500-pound debutant. The Big Show treated Sagat like a sparring partner, tossing him across the ring with ease. The street fighting community is in shock. Was Sagat’s win over Nash a fluke? Is Muay Thai inferior to pure, giant-sized wrestling? Sagat looked exposed, and the Big Show looked like the new P4P king.

[[ POST-MATCH INTERVIEWS: LARRY MERCHANT’S CORNER ]]

Larry Merchant: “I’m here with the winner, The Big Show. You just dismantled a legend. How does it feel?”

Big Show: “Legend? Larry, I saw a guy who’s used to fighting people half his size. Welcome to the WWF. I’m the biggest shark in the ocean, and I just ate the ‘King.'”

Larry Merchant (to a dazed Sagat): “Sagat, you were the favorite. You looked… ordinary tonight. What happened?”

Sagat: (Wiping blood from his eye) “I was alone. No Master. No student. But a giant is still just a man. He threw me… but he did not break me. I will return to the jungle. I will find the power to topple this mountain. This is not the end.”

[[ CHINITO’S CLOSING NOTE: The landscape has shifted. Seagal has the case, Zulu is gone, and the Big Show is the new nightmare of the Super-Heavyweight division. Dallas will never be the same. ]]

JULY 1st STATE OF THE UNION: RANKINGS, RVD’S ASCENSION, & THE FILIPINO PHENOM

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! We are officially six months into the chaos that is the WWF-Universe. The dust from the “Chicago Carnage” and the international tours has finally settled enough for the “Mafia” to release the official mid-year power rankings.

From the streets of Miami to the rings of Japan, the hierarchy of combat has never been more volatile. Here is your July 1st briefing.

[[ THE LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT SEMI-FINALS: RVD ADVANCES ]]

Rob Van Dam def. Shawn Michaels (via Pinfall – June 19)

  • The Match: In what many are calling the “Technical Masterpiece of the Summer,” RVD managed to survive a Sweet Chin Music attempt and counter with a split-legged moonsault.

  • The Result: RVD officially punches his ticket to the next round. HBK looked stunned, but the respect was visible. RVD is now the #3 ranked Light Heavyweight in the world and climbing fast.

[[ THE GLOBAL INVASION: AGATOM’S REDEMPTION ]]

Agatom def. “Changed Man” (via Pinfall – June 26 in Japan)

  • The Context: After a heartbreaking debut loss to the mysterious Golimar, the smallest fighter in the WWF (116 lbs) headed back to the East to find his rhythm.

  • The Fight: Agatom faced the Japanese masked daredevil and stuntman, “Changed Man.” The speed in this match was terrifying.

  • The Finish: The Filipino High Flyer proved that heart outweighs mass. He recovered from a high-risk dive to secure a pinfall in front of a stunned Tokyo crowd. Agatom is officially on the board!

[[ OFFICIAL MID-YEAR RANKINGS: JULY 1, 2000 ]]

POUND FOR POUND (PFP)

The top of the mountain belongs to the backyard legend, but the “Prince” and the “Greatest” are breathing down his neck.

Rank Name Record Score
#1 Kimbo Slice 3-0-0 8
#2 Prince Naseem Hamed 1-0-0 4
#3 Rickson Gracie 1-0-0 4
#4 The Rock 3-0-0 4
#5 Ted DiBiase 2-0-0 3

DIVISIONAL LEADERS

  • SUPER HEAVYWEIGHT: Butterbean (#1) holds the top spot after his June conquest, with Andre the Giant (#2) and Bob Sapp (#3) ready for the “Titan Clash.”

  • HEAVYWEIGHT: Kimbo Slice (#1) leads the pack. The Rock (#2) has moved up following his win over Neidhart, while Fedor (#9) and Couture (#10) have officially entered the top ten.

  • LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT: Kimbo (#1) somehow dominates here too, but Shane McMahon (#2) and RVD (#3) are the real story. John Cena (The Prototype) sits at #8, looking for his breakout.

  • CRUISERWEIGHT: Prince Naseem (#1) and Rickson (#2) rule the technical ranks. Golimar holds #8, while the legend Gen rounds out the top 10 at #10.

[[ THE ANALYST’S DESK: JULY OUTLOOK ]]

Joe Rogan: “Kimbo Slice at #1 PFP with an 8 score is absolute insanity. 🥊 He’s dominant, but look at Rickson Gracie at #3. If Rickson gets Kimbo on the ground, that score won’t mean anything. Also, shoutout to Agatom—116 pounds of pure lightning. That kid is ‘tight’!”

Jim Lampley: “BANG! The Rock is surging! ⚡️ After the Vader and Neidhart wins, he’s the most active fighter on the list. But can we talk about Ted DiBiase at #5? He’s buying his way into the elite tier, and Savage is the only thing standing in his way!”

[[ THE THREAD: RANKING RAGE ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

KIMBO #1!! 👊 3-0 and a score of 8? That’s dominance. I’m glad to see RVD at #3 in Light Heavyweight. Beating HBK was no fluke. He’s going all the way to the gold.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Agatom winning in Japan is the real feel-good story. 🇵🇭 The smallest guy in the room just silenced the “Changed Man.” I want to see him vs Rey Mysterio (#9 CW). That’s a high-flyer’s dream!

User: HadoukenKid

Ryu (#6 CW) and Ken (#5 CW) are ranked too low. They’ve only had one match each! Wait until the “Titan Clash” is over and the Street Fighters start moving up the PFP ranks. 🐯🕶️

User: BeefSlammer69

BUTTERBEAN #1 SUPER HEAVY!! 🥩 3-0 is 3-0. I don’t care if he fought legends or grandpas, nobody has been able to stop him. SummerSlam is gonna be wild! 👊😤

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m noticing a name missing from the Top 10 PFP… Triple H. After his recent interview, I expect he’s going to go on a rampage to force his way into these rankings. Watch your backs! ]]

THE “BUTTERBEAN” BLITZ: JUNE CONQUEST AND THE CONTRACT CRISIS

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! The month of June was supposed to be the “Summer of the Bean,” but it turned into a month of controversy, “ducking,” and some of the most bizarre matchups in WWF history. Eric “Butterbean” Esch was ready to fight every week, but the WWF locker room—especially the grapplers—seemed to have a sudden case of “stage fright.”

Here is the breakdown of Butterbean’s chaotic June campaign and why the “King of the 4-Rounders” might be reconsidering his signature on that weekly contract.

[[ JUNE 1-7: THE SILENT TREATMENT ]]

Following his dominant win over the giant Hong Man Choi, the WWF sanctioned a “Match a Week” challenge for Bean.

  • The Reality: Week 1 was a total wash. Despite the odds being split 50/50 among the fans, the WWF roster stayed quiet. Rumor has it the technical grapplers—afraid of that legendary overhand right—refused to sign the bout agreements. The first match was cancelled due to “No Willing Opponents.”

[[ JUNE 18: THE LEGENDARY STRUGGLE ]]

Opponent: Benny “The Jet” Urquidez (Age 47)

  • The Vibe: An aging Benny Joe stepped up when nobody else would. Under Pro Wrestling rules, it looked like a mismatch, but the kickboxing legend actually had Bean in trouble early with his speed and leg kicks.

  • The Turning Point: Bean realized he couldn’t win a stand-up battle with a legend. He switched gears, using his 400lb frame to lift and throw Benny like a sack of potatoes.

  • The Finish: A stunned Benny Joe was caught by a massive hook before Bean secured the pin. A “walk in the park” turned into a legitimate dogfight.

[[ JUNE 25: THE KUNG FU CRISIS ]]

Opponent: Gen (Age 60s)

  • The Context: Gen, fresh off an upset KO win over Benny Joe in April, challenged Bean under Pro Wrestling rules.

  • The Match: The martial arts master showed flashes of his old “jumping kung fu” style, but age had slowed him down.

  • The Finish: Bean played it smart, absorbing the lighter strikes and waiting for an opening. One devastating power-punch followed by a heavy-weight pin ended the night.

[[ THE EXPERTS WEIGH IN ]]

Analyst Quote / Reaction
Joe Rogan “People are making fun of Bean for fighting 60-year-olds, but did you see the throws he used on Benny Joe? That’s high-level adaptation. He’s evolving into a pro wrestler in real-time. It’s absolutely ‘tight’!”
Jim Lampley “BANG! Butterbean is taking on the ghosts of martial arts past! He’s the ultimate wrecking ball, but you have to wonder—how long can a 400lb man sustain a match every single week?”
Quinito Henson “Bean is proving that ‘Heft is Might’ in the WWF. He’s taking the ‘Sporting Chance’ by fighting legends, but the real test will be a younger, faster grappler who isn’t afraid of the power.”
Oscar De La Hoya “It’s a circus. Butterbean is a boxer, and he’s out here wrestling grandpas? It’s a side-show. He needs to get back in a ring with someone his own age or hang it up.”
Bob Arum “The WWF is milking the cow until it’s dry. A match every week? It’s a death wish. Bean is smart—he hasn’t signed that extension yet, and if he’s wise, he’ll demand ‘Quality over Quantity’.”

[[ THE FUTURE: THE CONTRACT & POTENTIAL FOES ]]

Will he sign the “1 Match Per Week” Contract?

Word backstage is that Bean is hesitant. While he’s winning, the toll on his body is showing, and fighting smaller, older legends isn’t helping his “BMF” reputation with the hardcore fans. He wants “Real Meat” on the menu.

Potential July Opponents:

  1. Sagat: The dream match. Muay Thai vs. Boxing power.

  2. Mark Hunt: The “Super Samoan” is reportedly in talks for a K-1/WWF hybrid match.

  3. The Big Show: The ultimate size test. Can Bean lift a 500lb giant like he did Benny Joe?

[[ THE THREAD: THE BEAN DEBATE ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

BENNY JOE HURT BEAN?! 🦵 That just shows that kickboxing is the ultimate counter. I love Bean, but he’s lucky Benny is 47 and not 27. If he fights a prime striker, he’s going to sleep.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Gen winning in his 60s against Benny was the real shocker of April. 🥋 Seeing Bean pin him was predictable, but the match was actually competitive for a few minutes! I want to see Bean vs. Birdie in Dallas. Let the big men swing chains!

User: HadoukenKid

De La Hoya is just salty because Bean is making more money in the WWF than most boxers make in a year. 🕶️ But Arum is right—one match a week is too much. One injury and the “Bean Conquest” is over.

User: BeefSlammer69

GIVE ME BEAN VS SAGAT!! 👊😤 I don’t want to see any more Kung Fu masters. I want to see a Tiger Knee vs a 400lb Hook. That’s the only match that matters!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that Bean’s camp is demanding a “Safety Clause” before signing the July contract. If the WWF can’t find young fighters willing to step up, we might see the end of the weekly Bean-streak. Stay tuned! ]]

Butterbean
Butterbean

THE CHICAGO CRASH: HELL IN A CELL 2000 POST-MATCH WRAP-UP

Posted on by Chinito Henson

The Allstate Arena is still vibrating. What started as a “Vocal Minority” protest ended in a standing ovation that might have actually cracked the Chicago skyline. From the blood-stained steel of the Cell to the controversial “UFC” submissions, June has officially reset the hierarchy of the fighting world.

1. THE STREETS REMAIN MEAN: KIMBO GOES 3-0

Result: Kimbo Slice def. Rey Zulu Jr. via K.O. (4:12) The “Brawler from the Backyard” continues his meteoric rise. While Rey Zulu Jr. fought with the heart of his father, King Zulu, and actually wobbled Kimbo with a massive overhand in the opening minute, the 0-2 Brazilian Giant couldn’t close the deal.

  • The Reaction: King Zulu was seen ringside, visibly frustrated, reportedly calling for a “Traditional Vale Tudo” rematch.

  • What’s Next for Kimbo? Fans are calling for a “Step Up.” Potential June/July opponents: Mark Henry, Bob Sapp, or even a brawling match with Butterbean.

2. TECHNICAL SNORE: GRACIE RECLAIMS THE GOLD

Result: Royce Gracie def. Ken Shamrock via Submission (Round 2) In a match that many fans labeled “Boring,” the technical mastery of the Gracie family proved too much for the “World’s Most Dangerous Man.”

  • The Fallout: While the purists loved the hip-control, the Chicago crowd was restless.

  • Trilogy? With the Rematch Clause triggered, a July trilogy is almost certain, but Shamrock looks rattled. He’s claiming the “WWF Mafia” fast-counted the stand-ups.

3. THE GREENWICH GRAPPLE: SHANE STUNS ANGLE

Result: Shane McMahon def. Kurt Angle via Submission (Rear Naked Choke) CONTROVERSY ALERT. In the upset of the night, Shane-O-Mac forced the Olympic Gold Medalist to “tap”—or did he?

  • The Protest: Angle and his supporters are livid, claiming the referee called a “Phantom Tap.”

  • The Analysis: Shane didn’t even need the controversy; he held his own in the clinch for 15 minutes. Does Shane move on to challenge Gracie for the UFC Belt, or is a “Submission Only” rematch with Angle the only way to settle the score?

4. THE SPIRIT PREVAILS: WARRIOR SHREDS THE SHREDDER

Result: Ultimate Warrior def. Mad Dogg via Pinfall The “Outback Shredder” surfboard never even touched the Warrior’s skin. Despite the hype, Mad Dogg weighed in at a “small” 280 lbs and looked overwhelmed by the 90s-peak intensity.

  • The Clean Sweep: Warrior used zero weapons and zero dirty tactics, simply dominating the “Amish Punk” with raw power.

  • The Verdict: Mad Dogg’s attempt at “Identity Theft” failed. Warrior is back. Next stop? A potential clash with The Rock or the winner of the USA Tournament.

5. THE EMPEROR DEBUTS: SAGAT TAKES CHICAGO

Result: Sagat def. Kevin Nash via Pinfall The “God of Muay Thai” is human after all. Sagat won his US debut, but it wasn’t the “Tiger Shot” massacre the dark web predicted.

  • The Performance: Sagat adapted to the WWF style, using eye-pokes and corner distractions from Ken Masters and Adon. While the Tiger Knee landed, Nash survived two of them, proving the “Giant” hasn’t lost his 90s-peak durability.

  • The Reality: Sagat looked like a high-tier wrestler, not a myth. But a win is a win.

MAIN EVENT: THE FUNERAL IN THE CAGE

THE UNDERTAKER vs. MICK FOLEY (AS CACTUS JACK)

This wasn’t a match; it was a religious experience. Cactus Jack dominated the first ten minutes, hitting Taker with everything including the kitchen sink. In a shocking moment, Taker locked in a triangle choke early, but appeared to let go before Foley could tap—as if he wanted the violence to continue.

The Finish: The two scaled the cage, mirroring their 1998 war. In a moment that silenced 18,000 people, Taker slammed Foley through the roof of the cell, sending him 20 feet down to the mat. Taker dropped down, covered the legend, and the 1-2-3 felt like a hammer on a coffin.

[[ THE AFTERMATH THREAD ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

I’m still shaking. 😭 Foley falling through the cage again? How is that man still breathing? Taker letting go of the submission was the scariest part—he literally wanted to drop him from the top. That’s some ‘Mafia’ hitman energy right there.

User: Raw_Is_War_2000

SHANE BEAT ANGLE?! 🤯 I don’t care if it was a “Phantom Tap,” Shane is a legit shooter now. If he fights Gracie next, I’m betting my house on the McMahon. Also, Sagat was a bit of a letdown. I wanted to see him blow a hole through Nash’s chest.

User: HadoukenKid

Ken Masters in Sagat’s corner was the real MVP. The way he distracted the ref while Sagat landed that low-blow? Pure class. 🕶️ But yeah, the “Tiger Knee” looks nerfed in the WWF. Maybe it’s the humidity in Chicago?

User: BeefSlammer69

BUTTERBEAN SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE!! 🥩 Imagine Bean vs Taker on top of that cage. Bean would have punched Taker through the floor and into the basement! Chicago Carnage was 10/10. I want the tacks next time!! 👊😤

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: Medical reports say Foley is “stable” but will be out for at least 6 months.]]

WWF ARCHIVE: June 2000 “Las Vegas Lockdown” Results

Posted on by Maria Cristina Aguillera

The Las Vegas Lockdown has officially concluded, and the combat sports world is reeling. While the WWF prepares for the “Chicago Carnage” of Hell in a Cell, the 56k modems are melting down over the results from Nevada. The “Boxing Invasion” wasn’t just a gimmick—it was a demolition.

Here is the restored archive from June 5, 2000.

WWF ARCHIVE: June 2000 “Las Vegas Lockdown” Results

Author: Neil Kim Park (Senior Fight Historian)

1. The “Beast” Unleashed: Butterbean vs. Hongman Choi

Result: Butterbean def. Hongman Choi via K.O. (3:22)

The Analysis: In a performance that erased any doubt about boxing power, Butterbean dismantled the 7’2″ Choi in less than three minutes. Surprisingly, Bean showcased a “hybrid” style, utilizing clinch-throws and heavy leg kicks that gassed the giant early. After three massive knockdowns, Choi was unable to answer the 10-count.

  • The Fallout: Butterbean has officially entered the “June Gauntlet.” He is scheduled to fight every week this month to prove the “Sweet Science” is the supreme discipline.

2. The Miracle in the Desert: Prince Naseem vs. Giant Gonzalez

Result: Prince Naseem Hamed def. Giant Gonzalez via Pinfall (7:08)

The Analysis: This was the most “unreal” fight of the 2000s. Naz entered at a heavier 158 lbs, sacrificing speed for durability.

  • The Drama: Gonzalez nearly ended the fight early with a crushing pin, leaving the undefeated boxer visibly hurt for the first time in his career.

  • The Finish: Naz shocked the world by abandoning traditional boxing, utilizing Lucha Libre dropkicks to soften the Giant’s base. In a final, physics-defying moment, the Prince executed a high-flying Lucha finisher to pin the 7’6″ monster.

[[ CELEBRITY & ANALYST REACTION THREAD ]]

Joe Rogan (The “Truth-Seeker”):

“Did you see Naz? He was doing Hurricanranas! A world-class boxer just beat a 7-foot giant with Lucha Libre. If you told me this in April, I’d say you were high. But Butterbean? That wasn’t luck. That was a 400lb wrecking ball with wrestling fundamentals. The ‘Invaders’ are evolving, man. The WWF locker room should be terrified.”

Mike Tyson (Boxing Legend):

“Butterbean is a bad, bad man. He showed those wrestling guys that a punch is a punch, no matter how tall you are. And Naz? He’s got the heart of a lion. He went into the ‘Shadow’ and came out with the win. Boxing 2, WWF 0. Deal with it.”

The Rock (Indie Sensation):

“The Rock sees the Prince dancing. The Rock sees the Bean punching. It’s cute. But while they’re playing ‘Crossover,’ The Rock is getting ready to slap the face off a clown in June. You want ‘Electrifying’? Wait until the People’s Champion gets his hands on these ‘Invaders’ in the fall.”

[[ HELL IN A CELL: CHICAGO CARNAGE CARD ]]

Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, IL

Matchup Stipulation The “Heat” Level
Undertaker vs. Mick Foley Hell in a Cell 10/10 (The Rematch)
Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle UFC Rules 8/10 (Prove-it Match)
Ken Shamrock vs. Royce Gracie Non-Title Rematch 9/10 (Grudge)
Ultimate Warrior vs. Road Kill “Battle for the Name” 7/10 (Indie vs. Legend)

Special Report: Shane McMahon has officially relinquished his mandatory challenger status to focus on Kurt Angle. Shane-O-Mac claims the Shamrock win was “pure skill,” and he’s going into the Octagon-style cage with an Olympic gold medalist to prove he is the elite “McMahon Fighter.”

The Teenager Comment Section (2000s Era)

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

NAZ PINNED GONZALEZ?!?! 😱 My mind is blown. I thought the ‘Mountain’ was gonna sit on him. Boxing fans are gonna be so annoying on IRC tonight lol. But for real, Shane vs Kurt Angle under UFC rules? Shane is gonna get his limbs turned into pretzels. 🥨 Angle is 2-0 and he’s a machine. RIP Shane.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Shane has ‘Genetic Power’ though! He’s crazy enough to jump off the top of the cell. But yeah, Angle is scary. Also, Road Kill is an Australian punk? I saw his tapes on a LimeWire leak. He’s wild, but the Ultimate Warrior is gonna snort him like a pixie stick. 😤

User: HadoukenKid

Butterbean is a tank. He looks bigger than his 5’11 offiicial measurements, I think he is actually 6’3″ and Hang Man Choi only 6’11. You know how much these promoters inflate or deflate these numbers. Anyways🚜 Choi didn’t even know what hit him. If Bean keeps fighting every week, he’s gonna be 5-0 by July. Why isn’t he in the USA Tournament? Oh wait, I forgot—the Mafia wants Savage vs DiBiase. 🙄 They’re hiding the real killers in the Vegas cards. #FreeTheBean

User: Sk8er_Gurl_99

Undertaker vs Foley in Chicago… I’m literally shaking. 😭 Foley already lost in May, if he goes into the Cell he’s gonna end up in a wheelchair. This is the darkest timeline. I hope the ‘Deadman’ shows some mercy. 🕯️💀

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m working on getting the pre-match medical scans for Foley. The rumors say he’s already fighting with 3 broken ribs. Stay tuned. ]]

“The Most Electrifying Move in Sports History”

Posted on by Maria Cristina Aguillera

The May 2000 archive has been officially updated. While the “Boxing Invasion” ended in a cloud of legal paperwork and “Mafia” conspiracy theories, the squared circle provided enough electricity to power the entire South of Texas.

Here is the Post-Fight Historical Summary for the month that changed the “Indie” narrative forever.

WWF ARCHIVE: May 2000 “Collision of Worlds” Results

Author: Neil Kim Park (Senior Fight Historian)

1. The Electrifying Debut: The Rock vs. The Hurricane

Result: The Rock def. The Hurricane via Pinfall

The Finish: This was nearly the upset of the century. The Hurricane’s “Unorthodox” style—utilizing high-flying maneuvers that the 90s-peak legends weren’t prepared for—actually saw him land a pinfall attempt that the ref almost counted to three. The Rock looked gassed until the final minute.

In a moment described by ringside announcers as “the most electrifying move in sports history,” The Rock removed his elbow pad, tossed it into the crowd, ran the ropes twice, and delivered the People’s Elbow. The arena in San Antonio nearly shook apart. The “Secret Move” is no longer a secret; it’s a warning to Hogan.

2. The Family Legacy: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Eddie Guerrero

Result: Rey Mysterio Jr. def. Eddie Guerrero via Pinfall

The Analysis: Stepping in as a replacement for his father, the young Rey Mysterio Jr. proved that the “New Generation” isn’t just about strength—it’s about velocity. Eddie Guerrero, a technical master at his peak, couldn’t keep track of Rey’s 360-degree offense. This win cements the Mysterio name in the WWF hierarchy for the next decade.

3. The Fall of the Deadman: Mick Foley vs. The Undertaker

Result: Mick Foley def. The Undertaker via Pinfall (24:30)

The Shock: The “Deadman” has suffered his first sanctioned loss. Foley, the “Hardcore Icon,” absorbed a level of punishment that would have hospitalized a normal man.

  • The Question: The Hell in a Cell match was originally scheduled for the next round of the USA Contender tournament. With Foley winning, the Commission is scrambling. Fans are demanding a rematch, but the physical toll on both men might make a June Cell match impossible.

4. USA #1 Contender Semi-Final: The Million Dollar Advance

Result: Ted DiBiase def. Eric Bischoff via Submission (12:10)

The Finish: Bischoff’s months of “Black Belt” training were negated by DiBiase’s 90s-peak technical grappling. Once DiBiase locked in the Million Dollar Dream, Bischoff had no escape. DiBiase advances to the finals, looking more dominant than ever.

5. The Main Event: “Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. Mr. McMahon

Location: Alamodome, San Antonio

Result: Steve Austin def. Vince McMahon via Pinfall

The Reality: The “Executive-turned-Combatant” experiment was more competitive than anyone expected. Vince McMahon, at 54, showed a “Genetic Power” that actually saw him counter Austin’s first two Stunner attempts.

The Controversy: While Vince gained respect from the locker room for his resilience, the underground forums are on fire. Critics claim Austin was “paid” by the McMahon estate to make the fight look competitive and protect the boss’s ego. Regardless, Austin walks out with his hand raised, but the “Mafia” rumors have never been louder.

The “Cancelled” Boxing Invasion

The high-profile bouts between Prince Naseem/Gonzalez and Butterbean/Choi have been officially pulled from the schedule due to “contractual disputes.”

  • The Theory: Underground analysts believe the promoters got cold feet after the Sagat/Ryu tape leaked. They realized that putting “Sports Icons” in a ring with “World Warriors” or WWF Giants was a recipe for a reputational disaster.

Updated June 1, 2000 Rankings

Fighter Record Status
The Rock 2 – 0 Top Contender (The People’s Champion)
Steve Austin 2 – 0 Unstoppable (But rumored “compromised”)
Kurt Angle 2 – 0 Dark Horse (Olympic Dominance)
Kimbo Slice 2 – 0 Brawl Specialist
Bob Sapp 2 – 0 Giant Killer

*** [ WWF_UNDERGROUND_FORUM ] *** Topic: MAY RESULTS MEGATHREAD: ROCK’S SECRET MOVE / TAKER PWNED? / VINCE LIVES??

[ ADMIN_NEIL ] – Posted: June 1, 2000 @ 10:25 AM

Yo, everyone! I hope your T1 lines were ready because the San Antonio results are absolutely insane. We’ve got new meta-moves, a legend falling, and the “Mafia” rumors hitting an all-time high with the boxing cancellation.

Check the feed below and keep the flame wars to a minimum. NO SPAMMING.

[[ THE POST-FIGHT CHAT LOG ]]

User: Xx_The_Great_One_xX

THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW IS THE BOMB DOT COM!! 💣🔥 Did you see the Hurricane’s face? He thought he had the upset pwned after surviving the Rock Bottom, but then Rock just… takes off the elbow pad? It was the most electrifying thing I’ve ever seen. Hurricane got served! The “Secret Move” is 100% legit. GG.

  • Reply: Indie_Watcher_00

    As if! 🙄 Hurricane actually pinned him and the ref was slow-counting. Rock is lucky he’s a “Mafia” favorite. The People’s Elbow is just a fancy elbow drop, let’s be real. Hurricane was the better fighter tonight. Boring!

User: Deadman_Fan_666

UNDERTAKER LOST. IM DONE. 💀 How does Mick Foley beat the Deadman? This has to be a script. Taker looked like he was moving in slow motion. If they don’t do a rematch at Hell in a Cell, I’m canceling my subscription and moving to Japan to watch K-1. Taker got robbed.

  • Reply: Hardcore_Mick_Fan

    Take a chill pill, emo kid. Foley is a beast! He took everything Taker threw and just kept smiling. It wasn’t a fluke, it was hardcore grit. Foley is the new king of the cellar. Taker is just “90s-Peak” and he can’t keep up with the “Cactus” energy. Deal with it! 🌵👊

User: Truth_Seeker_J

BOXING CANCELLED = WWF MAFIA CONFIRMED. 🕵️‍♂️ They knew Prince Naseem and Butterbean would expose the “Giants” as fakes. “Contractual reasons” my butt. Vince is just protecting the Hogan vs. Andre gate. They don’t want real strikers ruining the SummerSlam buy-rate. Follow the money, peeps.

  • Reply: Corporate_Shill_Hunter

    Or maybe Naz was just scared? Gonzalez is a mountain. Naz probably saw the Sagat scar tape and realized he didn’t want his chest opened up. 🤷‍♂️ The boxing guys are all talk. WWF is where the real monsters are.

User: Austin316Rawr

VINCE IS RIPPED?? WTH did I just watch? I thought Austin was going to squash him in 2 mins, but Vince was actually countering the Stunners? Respect to the old man, but Austin 3:16 still says I just pinned your boss! 🐍🍻

  • Reply: Real_Fight_Analyzer

    “Respect”?? Open your eyes! 🤡 Austin was obviously paid to make it look competitive. There is zero chance a 54-year-old CEO stays in the ring with a “Neural Shock” striker like Austin for 20 minutes unless it’s a total work. Vince is just buying “Combat Cred” so he can talk trash to the Street Fighters. Epic fail.

User: Mysterio_Goat

Rey Jr. is the future. 🐐 PWNING Eddie was sick. Bischoff’s training was weak sauce though. DiBiase is going to buy the USA belt at this rate. 💵

[[ CURRENT POLL: WAS AUSTIN PAID OFF? ]]

  • YES: 68% (The Mafia is real!)

  • NO: 32% (Vince is just built different.)

[[ ADMIN NOTE: The “Hell in a Cell” rumors for June are swirling. I’ll post the leaked brackets as soon as the T1 finishes the download. ]]

WWF ARCHIVE: The April Uprising Results

Posted on by Chinito Henson

The month of April 2000 has officially redefined the “Indie” movement within the World Wrestling Federation. Three young, unproven stars stepped into the ring against the “Peak Era” gatekeepers—and all three walked out with their hands raised.

Here is the Post-Fight Medical and Historical Archive for the matches that changed the hierarchy of combat.

Author: Neil Kim Park (Senior Fight Historian)

April 3: The Rock vs. Big Van Vader

Result: The Rock def. Vader via Pinfall (14:22)

The Finish: This was a tactical masterclass in speed vs. mass. Vader spent the first minutes attempting to crush the 27-year-old Rock with “Heavyweight Gravity,” but the younger fighter’s cardio proved superior. The Rock caught the 450-pound “Mastodon” off-balance. In a display of raw, peak-athletic strength, The Rock drove Vader into the canvas with his signature Rock Bottom.

Medical Update: Vader was assisted to the back suffering from significant wind-knock and minor rib displacement. The Rock emerged relatively unscathed, famously telling the ringside cameras that he has “yet to show the world what the most electrifying man in sports entertainment is truly capable of.” Notably, he did not utilize his rumored “elbow” maneuver, relying instead on pure high-impact wrestling.

April 7: Triple H vs. Mick Foley

Result: Triple H def. Mick Foley via Pinfall (22:45)

The Finish: This was the most “surgical” victory of the year. While Foley invited Triple H into a chaotic brawling match, the 30-year-old “Cerebral Assassin” refused to play Foley’s game. Triple H focused entirely on Foley’s equilibrium, using high-impact knee strikes to the temple.

The finish came when Foley attempted his “Mandible Claw” nerve strike. Triple H countered by kicking Foley in the midsection and hooking both arms behind his back. He drove Foley’s head straight into the mat with a high-velocity Pedigree. The impact was so severe that Foley was unconscious before the referee’s hand hit the mat for the three-count.

April 14: “Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. Big Boss Man

Location: Alamodome, San Antonio

Result: Steve Austin def. Big Boss Man via Pinfall (11:05)

The Finish: The Alamodome was a powder keg. The 330-pound Boss Man utilized his 90s-peak agility to keep Austin pinned in the corners, nearly ending the fight early with a devastating Sidewalk Slam. However, Austin’s “Indie” resilience—honed in the brutal regional circuits—allowed him to survive the trauma.

As the Boss Man prepared to deliver his finishing slam, Austin utilized a “Twitch-Fiber” reaction to kick the giant in the stomach. Before the Boss Man could recover his breath, Austin grabbed him by the jaw and dropped into the Stone Cold Stunner. The neural shock of the strike caused the 330-pound enforcer to collapse instantly. Austin threw a casual, one-arm lateral press over the Boss Man’s chest for the three-count, solidifying the “Rattlesnake” as a legitimate threat to Hulk Hogan.

April 2000: The “New Generation” Rankings

Fighter April Record Momentum Status
The Rock 1 – 0 High (Strongest win against a Super Heavyweight)
Steve Austin 1 – 0 Extreme (Proven he can “stun” the peak legends)
Triple H 1 – 0 Calculating (Proved technical dominance over “Hardcore”)

The Historian’s Take: The “Indie” stars are no longer prospects. They are contenders. With the Undisputed WWF Belt tournament approaching, the “Peak Legends” like Hogan and Andre the Giant can no longer ignore the 20-somethings.