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ROYAL RUMBLE 2001 RESULTS

Posted on by Chinito Henson

[[ THE STAT SHEET: BY THE NUMBERS ]]

JIM LAMPLEY: “What a night of absolute attrition! The dust has settled in New Orleans, and the landscape of the UWC and WWF has been altered forever. Let’s look at the record books for this historic 30-man over-the-top-rope war.”

RECORD SUPERSTAR STATISTIC
THE WINNER GOLDBERG Entered at #29
IRON MAN RANDY “MACHO MAN” SAVAGE 40 Minutes, 56 Seconds
MOST ELIMINATIONS RANDY “MACHO MAN” SAVAGE 6 Eliminations
FIRST ELIMINATED THE HURRICANE (By the Big Show)
SHORTEST TIME KURT ANGLE 2 Seconds (By X-Pac)

[[ HBO RINGSIDE ANALYSIS ]]

MAX KELLERMAN: “Jim, I’m still stuck on Randy Savage. The ‘Macho Man’ proved tonight why he’s a legend. He was the anchor of this match for over 40 minutes, eliminating six men including the Ultimate Warrior and the international sensation Dhalsim. He almost went the distance, but the fresh energy of Goldberg was just too much at the end.”

JOE ROGAN: “And how about X-Pac?! He created the highlight of the night by catching an Olympic Gold Medalist, Kurt Angle, off guard and dumping him in two seconds. That’s going to be on every highlight reel for the next decade. But we have to talk about the power display—Butterbean carrying the super-heavyweights like they were luggage? He tossed Big Show and Steven Seagal like it was nothing!”

LARRY MERCHANT: “I’m more interested in the ‘Celebrity’ factor. Steve Harvey? Who knew the man had a spear and a jackhammer in his repertoire? He was hitting Goldberg’s own moves on Stone Cold Steve Austin! It’s no wonder he beat out thousands of other celebrities for that spot. The man is a natural.”

[[ THE “NEN” & TACTICS UPDATE ]]

JOE ROGAN: “Max, you saw it. The Rock survived a Spinning Piledriver from Zangief. Now, normally that’s a death sentence, but Zangief had just gone 14 minutes with Triple H. His ‘Nen’ reserves were tapped out. He didn’t have the torque. And look at Triple H and The Rock—they basically formed a temporary alliance to try and flush out X-Pac, because they realized X-Pac was playing a brilliant game of ‘fake’ fighting to stay in the ring. The ‘Cerebral Assassin’ met his match in ring IQ tonight.”

[[ THE FINAL FOUR & THE FINISH ]]

JIM LAMPLEY: “The final four: Agatom, Randy Savage, The Rock, and Goldberg. The Philippine star Agatom was a revelation, taking the fight to Goldberg with high-flying Lucha moves that had the big man reeling. But the Rock’s experience won out, using a Samoan Drop to send the smaller fighter over the top.”

MAX KELLERMAN: “The end was pure drama. The Rock had Goldberg hurt, he was celebrating on the turnbuckle—the classic Rock mistake—and Goldberg just powered through. It wasn’t luck, Jim. It was the contract. Goldberg entered at #29, fresh and terrifying. He wrestled the Rock to the apron, and the Rock’s fatigue from that Zangief encounter finally cost him. Goldberg is going to WrestleMania!“

[[ NEW RIVALRIES: THE WAR HAS JUST BEGUN ]]

  1. THE ROCK vs. TRIPLE H: The Rock still hasn’t forgiven Triple-H for sabotaging him from fighting Hogan last year.

  2. THE ROCK vs. GOLDBERG: The finish was too close. The Rock wants a rematch where they both start fresh.

  3. KANE vs. UNDERTAKER: The Brothers of Destruction are back at each other’s throats. The betrayal in the Rumble was personal.

  4. STONE COLD vs. ZANGIEF: Two brawlers, one ring. Austin isn’t going to let the Russian forget that elimination.

  5. STONE COLD vs. STEVE HARVEY: Austin has a “Family Feud” of his own to settle after being mocked with his own rival’s moves.

[[ THE BIG QUESTION: WHERE IS HISOKA? ]]

JIM LAMPLEY: “We still have no official word on why Hisoka was pulled. Rumors are swirling that the Board found something in his dressing room that forced an immediate suspension, but with Chris Benoit and Rickson Gracie in the hospital, the ‘Magician’ is still the most wanted man in New Orleans.”

RYU CONQUERS TOKYO; THE “RED DEVIL” SURVIVES A SEAGAL WAR

Posted on by Chinito Henson

The final month of the year has closed with a series of tectonic shifts in the international brackets. As the dust settles in Tokyo, Sydney, and Moscow, the roster for the 2001 World Cup is finally taking its lethal shape.

[[ THE JAPAN FINALS: THE RISE OF THE “HADOU” ]]

TOKYO, DEC 30: In a performance that erased all doubts following his shaky outing against the British Bulldog, Ryu has officially punched his ticket to the World Cup. Facing the 500-pound mountain Yokozuna, Ryu showcased a terrifying evolution in his “Street Fighting” style.

Instead of engaging in a strength battle, Ryu utilized the environment, launching a series of flying uppercuts from the middle ropes that rattled the big man’s equilibrium. The finish was clinical: a flurry of quick-strike combinations that left the former champion looking stationary.

  • The Road to the Finals: Ryu’s path wasn’t easy. On Dec 7, he survived a technical masterclass from Retsu, who nearly ended Ryu’s dreams with a mid-match limb-targeting assault. Ryu showed his championship mettle, rallying late to win via pinfall.

  • Yokozuna’s Path: On that same night, Yokozuna made short work of the masked striker Changedman, winning a one-sided squash that proved he is still a gatekeeper for the elite—just not enough to stop the “Hadou.”

[[ INTERNATIONAL QUALIFIERS: THE OUTBACK & THE OLD COUNTRY ]]

  • AUSTRALIA: It was a civil war in Sydney as Mad Dogg and Road Kill tore the house down. Road Kill looked like the future of the division in the first half, using tumbling kicks and high-flying acrobatics to confuse the veteran. However, the raw power of Mad Dogg eventually took over. Mad Dogg secures the win and will represent Australia in the 2001 World Cup.

  • ITALY: Bruno secured a dominant victory over the internet sensation Super Mario. While Mario showed incredible versatility—combining high-flying moves with surprising core strength—the loss marks his 3rd defeat in the WWF. Under the “Three-Strike” rule, the fan favorite is suspended from the major circuit. Expect Mario to return to the Italian Indies, where his cult following remains unshakable.

[[ THE FIGHT OF THE YEAR? FEDOR VS. SEAGAL ]]

MOSCOW, DEC 22: Everyone expected Fedor Emelianenko to walk through the aging Aikido master. They were wrong. In what many are calling a contender for Fight of the Year, Steven Seagal and Fedor engaged in a bloody, protracted war of attrition.

Under UFC rules, this likely would have gone to a controversial judge’s decision. However, under WWF rules, the fight was allowed to reach a natural, albeit brutal, conclusion. Both men were unrecognizable by the end, covered in blood and bruises. Fedor ultimately secured the win, but Seagal—despite now sitting at 0-4 in his WWF career—has finally earned the “Warrior’s Respect” from the locker room. He didn’t cash in his briefcase at Survivor Series, but tonight, he fought like a man who deserved to carry it.

[[ THE HBO COMMENTARY DESK ]]

LARRY MERCHANT: “I’ve been a critic of Seagal for a long time, Jim. I called him a ‘paper contender.’ But tonight in Moscow? That man grew a soul. He lost the fight, but he saved his dignity.”

LENNOX LEWIS: “And look at Ryu. He’s stopped playing the ‘wrestler’s game.’ He fought Yokozuna like a predator. If he brings that ‘middle-rope’ energy to the World Cup, Hulk Hogan has a real problem on his hands.”

[[ THE 2001 WORLD CUP ROSTER: CONFIRMED ENTRIES ]]

COUNTRY REPRESENTATIVE STATUS
USA Hulk Hogan Triple Champion / #1 P4P
JAPAN Ryu Tournament Winner
AUSTRALIA Mad Dogg Regional Champion
RUSSIA Fedor Emelianenko Undefeated
INDIA Golimar Regional Champion

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: With the December results in, the 2001 World Cup is officially top-heavy with monsters. Super Mario’s suspension is a hit for the “Cruiserweight” ratings, but the emergence of Fedor and the rebirth of Ryu have set the stage for a massive Royal Rumble. ]]

SCOUTING REPORT: “THE LAST EMPEROR”

Posted on by Chinito Henson

SUBJECT: Fedor Emelianenko (Russia)

RANKING: #1 Heavyweight (International – Non-WWF Sanctioned)

STATUS: 2001 World Cup Qualified (Russian Representative)

Following his brutal December war with Steven Seagal in Moscow, the Microsoft Gonzaga Software has finally processed enough data to build a profile on the man they call “The Last Emperor.” While the WWF was focused on showmanship, Fedor was being forged in the specialized “Combat Sambo” circuit of the Motherland.

[[ PHYSICAL & TECHNICAL SPECS ]]

  • Height/Weight: 6’0” | 235 lbs (Heavyweight)

  • Background: Master of Sport in Judo & Sambo.

  • The “Casting Punch”: Fedor’s signature strike. Unlike a Western hook, he throws a looping “Russian Hook” with his thumb turned down. It looks like a mistake, but the trajectory bypasses traditional boxing guards and allows him to crash immediately into a clinch.

  • Hip Sensitivity: Scouts note that Fedor possesses “magical” hips. The moment an opponent like Seagal or a wrestler tries to take him down, he uses their momentum to execute a high-amplitude Sambo throw.

[[ THE SEAGAL DEBRIEF: WHAT WE LEARNED ]]

The Moscow fight was a revelation. Seagal tried to use Aikido to redirect Fedor’s energy, but Fedor didn’t provide “clean” energy to redirect.

  1. Stoicism: Fedor fought for 20 minutes with a split eye and a broken nose without changing his facial expression. He is a “mental vacuum”—you cannot intimidate him.

  2. Ground-and-Pound: Fedor doesn’t just “wrestle” on the ground. He creates space within the guard to drop hammerfists that carry the weight of a sledgehammer. Seagal survived only through veteran savvy and a “never-say-die” spirit we haven’t seen from him in years.

  3. The “Seizure” Mitigation: Like our reports on Blanka, Fedor seems immune to the “shock” of impact. He absorbs damage that would cause other fighters to freeze up.

[[ LARRY MERCHANT’S TAKE: THE RUSSIAN THREAT ]]

LARRY MERCHANT: “Jim, I’m looking at this kid Fedor and I’m seeing a ghost. He doesn’t look like Hogan. He doesn’t have the 24-inch pythons. He looks like a guy you’d see working at a shipyard in St. Petersburg. But when he touches you? You stay touched. He dismantled Seagal’s myth piece by piece. If Hogan thinks he can just ‘Hulk Up’ against a guy who has been throwing Russian soldiers around for a decade, he’s in for a rude awakening.”

LENNOX LEWIS: “It’s the transitions, Larry. Most guys are either strikers or grapplers. Fedor is both, at the same time. He punches into the throw. He throws into the submission. He’s a continuous loop of violence.”

[[ WORLD CUP PREDICTION ]]

Fedor enters the 2001 World Cup as the Dark Horse favorite. While the Western media is focused on the “Monkey Boy” rumors from China or the Zangief/Hogan beef, the “Last Emperor” is quietly moving into position to annex the entire heavyweight division.

Current World Cup Betting Odds:

  • Hulk Hogan: 2-1

  • Fedor Emelianenko: 4-1

  • Ryu: 7-1

  • Zangief: 8-1 (Pending Qualification)

ZANGIEF wants Hogan

Posted on by Chinito Henson

The “Red Cyclone” is officially the most frustrated man in combat sports. Zangief has been seen outside Vince McMahon’s office in Stamford, Connecticut, demanding a shot at Hulk Hogan.

THE PROBLEM: The “WWF Mafia” has strict championship protocols. Zangief is currently ranked #4 Pound-per-Pound, but to challenge “The Immortal” Hogan for the UWC Gold, you must be the #2 P4P contender or hold a major title.

  • The Rock (#2 P4P) currently holds that slot, even with his recent “injury” timeout.

  • The Belts: All major belts (Heavyweight, Cruiserweight) are currently vacant or locked in tournament play. Kurt Angle holds the Light Heavyweight title, but Zangief is 150 pounds over the limit—he’d have to cut off a leg to make weight!

[[ THE ROAD TO ROYAL RUMBLE 2001 ]]

Zangief’s path to Hogan is blocked by a wall of scheduling. If he wants Hogan, he has two options, and both are high-risk:

1. THE SUPER-HEAVYWEIGHT ASCENSION

Zangief is currently the #2 ranked Super-Heavyweight. He is scheduled to face the winner of the Bob Sapp vs. Vader Finals at the Royal Rumble in January. Winning that belt would give him the “Champion’s Clause” to force a cross-divisional fight with Hogan.

2. THE UFC COLLISION

The UFC Championship, currently held by Ken Shamrock, has no weight limit. Zangief could technically challenge for it. However, Shamrock is already locked in for a “Blood and Guts” title defense against the street-fighting legend Kimbo Slice at the Royal Rumble. Zangief would have to wait for the fallout of that war.

[[ LARRY MERCHANT’S TAKE: THE ROCK VS. THE RUSSIAN ]]

LARRY MERCHANT: “It’s a classic squeeze play, Jim. Zangief wants the top dog, but the Mafia is making him jump through hoops. If he wants Hogan before the spring, he has to overthrow The Rock for that #2 P4P spot. That means Zangief needs a ‘Statement Win’ against another Top 5 fighter—maybe a guy like Ken or Sagat. He’s a beast, but in the WWF, you don’t just fight the Champion; you fight the Bureaucracy.”

JIM LAMPLEY: “The fans want Zangief vs. Hogan. The ratings would be astronomical. But until Zangief gets some gold around his waist or knocks The Rock off his pedestal, the Russian Bear is stuck in the woods.”

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: Zangief’s frustration is reaching a boiling point. If he doesn’t get a “big name” soon, rumors say he might just invade the ring during the Royal Rumble and start tossing everyone out until Hogan shows up. ]]

HOGAN WINS THE FIRST EVER UNDISPUTED WWF BELT: SURVIVOR SERIES

Posted on by Chinito Henson

DATE: November 26, 2000

LOCATION: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, MO

COMMENTARY: Jim Lampley, Larry Merchant, and Lennox Lewis

[[ THE TALE OF THE TAPE: THE HOLY GRAIL ]]

STATISTIC HULK HOGAN (#1) KURT ANGLE (#4)
AGE 37 31
HEIGHT 6’7″ 6’0″
WEIGHT 302 lbs 237 lbs
REACH 78 in 72 in
ACCOLADES Former Intercontinental Champ 1996 Olympic Gold Medalist
STYLE Power / American Brawling Freestyle Wrestling / Technical

[[ RINGSIDE ANALYSIS: THE POLITICS OF THE PURSE ]]

JIM LAMPLEY: We have reached the moment of truth. The Undisputed World Wrestling Federation Championship. The “Holy Grail.”

LARRY MERCHANT: (Scoffing) Jim, let’s not get carried away with the jewelry. This fight is a symptom of a sick system. This should be the Main Event of the evening. Instead, it’s the Co-Main because the “WWF Mafia” wants to squeeze every last drop out of Hogan’s brand. Hogan should be in there with the #2 guy, The Rock, for the world title. But because of “backstage brawls” and convenient injuries—politics disguised as strategy—we have Ted DiBiase sitting in the back like a vulture.

LENNOX LEWIS: It’s a tactical drain, Larry. DiBiase is a businessman. He knows that if Hogan goes 12 rounds with a technical genius like Kurt Angle, by the time the Main Event for that regional USA belt starts, Hogan will be a hollow shell. It’s the ultimate “Million Dollar” setup.

LARRY MERCHANT: It’s a sham! They’ve removed the “luck factor” of the 4-way to ensure Hogan gets the first UWC title for the ratings. They want their icon to hold the big gold, but they’re willing to sacrifice his health to do it. Angle is the best pure wrestler in this building, but he’s fighting a man who weighs 70 pounds more than him and has the refereeing board in his pocket.

[[ MATCH SUMMARY: POWER OVER PRECISION ]]

The fight was a masterclass in physical disparity. Kurt Angle showcased his Olympic pedigree early, diving for a single leg and transitioning beautifully into a grapevine. He locked in the Ankle Lock center-ring, and for a moment, the arena went silent as the Hulkster’s face contorted in pain.

However, the size difference was insurmountable. Hogan used his massive frame to crawl toward the ropes, and once back on his feet, he simply overwhelmed the Olympian. Angle caught a big boot to the jaw that would have leveled a normal man, followed by the “Leg Drop of Doom.” Hulk Hogan wins via Pinfall. He looks remarkably fresh—hardly a sweat broken.

[[ POST-MATCH INTERVIEW: LARRY MERCHANT ]]

LARRY MERCHANT: (Stepping into the ring as the confetti falls) Hulk, I have to be honest with you. Most of the “experts” expected the Olympic Gold Medalist to take you to deep water. But that looked… surprisingly easy. You’re standing here, you’re not bleeding, you’re barely breathing hard. Are you surprised that the “Holy Grail” match was such a one-sided affair?

HULK HOGAN: (Grinning, holding the UWC Gold over his head) Larry Merchant, brother! You can have all the medals in the world, but when you step into the ring with 300 pounds of Hulkamania, the physics change! Kurt Angle is a great athlete, but he’s a Light Heavyweight trying to swim with a Great White Shark! I feel great, I feel fresh, and I’m ready for whatever “Vulture” is waiting in the back!

LARRY MERCHANT: Well, congratulations are in order. You are now the first Triple Champion in the history of the WWF. You won the first Intercontinental tournament, you held the USA belt at the launch, and now you’re the first Undisputed World Champion. You’ve achieved immortality. But Ted DiBiase is expecting a bloodied champion for the Main Event. What do you have to say to the “Million Dollar Man” who thought Kurt Angle would do his dirty work for him?

HULK HOGAN: Tell Ted to count his money, because he can’t buy the strength I’ve got left in these pythons! I’m coming for my second win of the night, brother!

LARRY MERCHANT: (Turning to a dejected Kurt Angle) Kurt, you’re the Light Heavyweight Champion, you’re an Olympic hero. You had that ankle lock cinched in tight. In a legitimate wrestling room, he taps out. Why couldn’t you finish him tonight? Was the weight gap just too much to bridge, or did you feel the pressure of the “Hulkamania” atmosphere?

KURT ANGLE: (Shaking his head, frustrated) It’s the weight, Larry. I felt his tendons popping, I knew I had the hold… but he just dragged me across the ring like I was a child. You can’t technical-wrestle a tank. I’ll go back to the drawing board, but tonight… the big man was just too big.

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: Hogan has defied the odds and the “Mafia’s” plan by finishing Angle quickly. He enters the Main Event for the USA Belt against Ted DiBiase at nearly 100% health. DiBiase is reportedly furious in the locker room—his “vulture” strategy just fell apart. ]]

HOGAN RETAINS THE USA BELT!!!

Posted on by Chinito Henson

LOCATION: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, MO

THE STAKES: The USA Championship & The Right to Represent at the 2001 World Cup

[[ THE TALE OF THE TAPE: THE VULTURE VS. THE ICON ]]

STATISTIC HULK HOGAN (C) TED DIBIASE (#7)
AGE 37 36
HEIGHT 6’7″ 6’3″
WEIGHT 302 lbs 250 lbs
REACH 78 in 74 in
2000 RECORD 5-0 3-1
P4P RANK #1 #22

[[ RINGSIDE ANALYSIS: THE MILLION DOLLAR SHAM ]]

JIM LAMPLEY: We have reached the final chapter of a long, violent night. Hulk Hogan, having already secured the Undisputed World Title, must now defend his “regional” USA belt against the man who orchestrated this entire grueling schedule: Ted DiBiase.

LARRY MERCHANT: (Voice dripping with sarcasm) Jim, call it what it is. This isn’t a “main event”; it’s a collection of debt. DiBiase used his influence, his money, and the “WWF Mafia” to force Hogan into two fights, hoping Kurt Angle would leave the champion in pieces. But look at Hogan—he’s walking to the ring with the World Title on one shoulder and the USA belt on the other. He doesn’t look like a man who just fought an Olympian. He looks like a man who’s about to evict a squatter.

LENNOX LEWIS: DiBiase’s “vulture” strategy required Kurt Angle to be a meat grinder. But Hogan finished Angle in minutes. Now, DiBiase is the one looking nervous. He’s a tactical wrestler, sure, but he’s facing a fresh Hogan who has the momentum of the entire planet behind him. If DiBiase can’t catch him with a Million Dollar Dream early, this is going to be a short night for the “Million Dollar Man.”

[[ MATCH SUMMARY: THE IMMORTAL ASCENSION ]]

The fight was a procedural dismantling. DiBiase tried to use veteran savvy, targeting Hogan’s lower back, but the champion’s strength was simply too much to contain. Every time DiBiase thought he had an opening, he was met with a thunderous clothesline or a sidewalk slam.

In the closing moments, DiBiase attempted to use a loaded glove—the “Million Dollar” tactic—but Hogan blocked the strike, “Hulked up” to a deafening roar from the Kansas City crowd, and finished the night with a signature Big Boot and a massive Leg Drop. Hulk Hogan wins via Pinfall. He retains the USA belt.

[[ POST-MATCH INTERVIEW: LARRY MERCHANT ]]

LARRY MERCHANT: (Standing in the center of the ring, surrounded by security as fans throw yellow and red streamers) Hulk, we’ve seen some marathons in this sport, but tonight you ran two sprints and won them both. I’ll be blunt: are you surprised it was this easy? You just ran through the Olympic Champion and the Million Dollar Man back-to-back, and you look like you could go another ten rounds.

HULK HOGAN: (Holding both belts high, sweat glistening) Larry, I told the world! You can try to fix the brackets, you can try to attack my friends in the back, and you can try to tire me out—but Hulkamania is the strongest force in the universe, brother! Ted DiBiase tried to buy a victory, but you can’t buy the “Immortal” spirit!

LARRY MERCHANT: “The Immortal.” That’s what they’re calling you tonight. You’ve become the first Triple Champion—the Intercontinental, the UWC World Gold, and now you’ve retained the USA belt. By winning this, you’ve officially punched your ticket to represent the United States in the 2001 World Cup Quarterfinals. Does the rest of the world even have a chance when you’re in this kind of form?

HULK HOGAN: Let them come from Japan, from Russia, from the moon, brother! The USA is locked in for 2001, and the Immortal is just getting started!

[[ FINAL ANALYSIS: HBO BOXING DESK ]]

JIM LAMPLEY: A historic sweep. Hulk Hogan enters the night as a champion and leaves as a legend. Lennox, what does this do to the Heavyweight rankings?

LENNOX LEWIS: It cements him. He’s the undisputed #1. He took the “Mafia’s” best shot, he took DiBiase’s best scheme, and he chewed them up. He’s not just a wrestler anymore; he’s the “Immortal” standard-bearer for the USA.

LARRY MERCHANT: (Nodding) He’s the man to beat. But remember, the World Cup is a different beast. He won’t be fighting “Mafia” picks in January; he’ll be fighting national heroes like Ryu, Bret Hart, and maybe even a vengeful Zangief. Tonight, he’s a god in Kansas City. But in 2001? The whole world is going to be trying to prove that even “The Immortal” can bleed.

JIM LAMPLEY: For Larry Merchant and Lennox Lewis, I’m Jim Lampley. History has been made. Goodnight from Kansas City!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: Hogan has swept the night! With the USA slot officially finalized for the World Cup, the pressure now shifts to Japan and Russia to find a challenger who can actually match Hogan’s power. ]]

SURVIVOR SERIES 2000: POST-MATCH PART 1

Posted on by Chinito Henson

MATCH: Ultimate Warrior vs. Gen RESULT: Ultimate Warrior via Pinfall (12:44)

[[ IN-RING INTERVIEW: JOE ROGAN ]]

JOE ROGAN: (Standing with the Ultimate Warrior, who is still breathing heavily, face paint smeared with sweat) I’m here with the winner, the Ultimate Warrior! Warrior, a lot of people looked at the age gap here—the fact that Gen is an underground relic—and expected a two-minute squash. But that was a tactical war. He had you in some positions we’ve never seen you in. How did you survive the technical prowess of the “Old Master”?

ULTIMATE WARRIOR: (Snarling, chest heaving) Joe Rogan! The heavens do not count the years! They only count the WILL! Gen… he is a ghost from a time when men fought for breath, not for belts! His hands are like ice, but my blood… my blood is the FIRE OF DESTINY! He reached for my soul, but he found only the POWER OF THE WARRIORS!

JOE ROGAN: (Turning to Gen, who is being helped up by officials, looking remarkably calm despite the loss) Gen, you’re ranked #21 in the world for a reason. Tonight, you proved that age and illness are just variables. You had the Warrior on the ropes with those pressure-point strikes early on. Do you feel that tonight was a “passing of the torch,” or do you still have more names on your list?

GEN: (Voice raspy but steady) The Warrior has strength… but he has no silence. I came to see if the “modern era” had found a way to defeat time. He didn’t defeat time tonight. He only defeated a man. My list… is not yet empty.

[[ RINGSIDE: THE HBO BOXING DESK ]]

JIM LAMPLEY: A fascinating start to the evening here in Kansas City. The Ultimate Warrior moves to 3-1, but Larry, it wasn’t the blowout the Vegas odds suggested.

LARRY MERCHANT: (Adjusting his glasses, looking unimpressed) Jim, it was a classic case of a young, strong guy who doesn’t know what he’s doing against an old, skilled guy who can’t do what he knows. Gen is a master—he’s a philosopher of violence. If he was thirty years younger, the Ultimate Warrior would be a stain on the mat right now. But in this “sport,” if you can call it that, eventually the muscles win out over the mind. It’s the tragedy of the aging athlete.

LENNOX LEWIS: I have to disagree slightly, Larry. Gen’s defense was brilliant. He was parrying power shots that would have knocked out a Heavyweight. But you saw the finish—the Warrior just overwhelmed him with pure physical volume. In boxing, we call that “bullying the vet.” It’s not pretty, but it’s effective. Warrior showed he can take a punch, but he still lacks the technical IQ to be Top 10.

JIM LAMPLEY: Speaking of Top 10 aspirations, we move from the “Old World” vs. “New World” to a battle of two icons trying to reclaim their glory. Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage.

LARRY MERCHANT: This is where the night gets serious, Jim. We’re talking about the Heavyweight division—the “Shark Tank.” Bret Hart is 32, a technical wizard, but he’s coming off a loss to Yokozuna. Savage is 37, and frankly, he looks like a man who knows his clock is ticking.

LENNOX LEWIS: The footwork is going to be the key here. Bret is the “Excellence of Execution,” he’s going to try to chop Savage down, take out the legs. Savage is erratic, he’s explosive. If Savage can’t catch Bret early with that diving elbow, I think the Hitman’s youth and that Sharpshooter are going to be too much.

LARRY MERCHANT: It’s a desperation match, Lennox. Neither of these men can afford to be 1-2 or 2-2 in this climate. Especially with Zangief and the Street Fighters lurking. If you lose tonight, you’re not just losing a match—you’re losing your relevance.

JIM LAMPLEY: The Heavyweight hunt continues. Hart. Savage. Next!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: The “Gonzaga” software actually favored Gen slightly in technical points, but the Warrior’s “Damage Dealt” metric was through the roof. If Bret Hart wins this next one, he’ll be just one big win away from a Top 5 Heavyweight ranking. ]]

MATCH: Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage RESULT: Randy Savage via Count-Out (18:12)

[[ RINGSIDE INTERVIEW: JOE ROGAN ]]

JOE ROGAN: (Standing near the wreckage of the Spanish announce table) I’m here with the victor, the “Macho Man” Randy Savage! Randy, that was one of the most grueling, back-and-forth Heavyweight battles we’ve seen all year. Bret was dissecting you for fifteen minutes—he literally had you on this table ready to end your career. How did you find the spatial awareness to counter him twice in that high-stress environment?

RANDY SAVAGE: (Voice raspy, eyes wild, gasping for air) Dig it, Joe Rogan! The madness… it’s a living thing! Bret Hart thought he had the Excellence of Execution, but he forgot about the ELEVATION OF ADRENALINE! He tried to put me through the wood, yeah, but the Macho Man doesn’t go down for the count when the stars are aligned! I felt the heat, I felt the pressure, and I turned the table on him! A win is a win, and the Macho Man is climbing that P4P mountain, OH YEAH!

JOE ROGAN: (Turning to Bret Hart, who is being attended to by trainers, looking devastated) Bret, you had this match in the palm of your hand. You dominated the technical exchanges, but the decision to go for the announce table finish seemed to backfire. Do you regret trying to “insult” Savage with that move instead of staying in the ring and working for the Sharpshooter?

BRET HART: (Wiping blood from his lip, shaking his head) It wasn’t about the insult, Joe. It was about finishing a dangerous man. I underestimated how much “Macho” was left in the tank. I had him beat… I know I had him beat. Losing by count-out on the floor? That’s a bitter pill. I came here to prove I’m Top 5. Tonight, I just proved that in this sport, one mistake at ringside is all it takes to lose everything.

[[ RINGSIDE: THE HBO BOXING DESK ]]

JIM LAMPLEY: A heart-stopping finish to a technical masterpiece. Randy Savage survives, moving his record to 2-1, but Larry, a count-out win in a match this big… does the “Gonzaga” software respect that?

LARRY MERCHANT: (Smirking) It shouldn’t, Jim. It was a “pro-wrestling” finish. Bret Hart was the better fighter tonight. He out-boxed him, out-grappled him, and out-thought him until that moment of hubris at the announce table. Savage didn’t “beat” Hart; Hart beat himself by playing with his food. In boxing, if you’re ahead on the cards and you get caught in a fluke, it’s a tragedy. That’s what we saw here.

LENNOX LEWIS: I don’t know, Larry. You have to give Savage credit for the “Dog” in him. He was being dismantled. His ribs were gone, his leg was being worked on. To have the presence of mind to reverse a power-bomb on the outside and get back in the ring at the count of nine? That’s veteran savvy. That’s why he’s a legend. He found a way to win when he had no right to.

JIM LAMPLEY: Regardless of the “how,” the Macho Man stays alive in the Heavyweight hunt. But now, gentlemen, we move to the match that has been shrouded in darkness all evening. The WarGames. 4-on-4. The cage is lowering.

LARRY MERCHANT: And look at the teams, Jim. It’s a farce! The two biggest stars in the industry—Triple H and Stone Cold—are sitting in the back or out of the building because of a “backstage brawl.” If I’m a fan who paid for a ticket to see the Rattlesnake, I’m feeling robbed.

LENNOX LEWIS: It’s a massive void, Larry. But look at who’s filling it. The Big Show, Kane, X-Pac, and Ron Simmons. That is a lot of meat in one cage. But they’re going up against the “Street Fighters”—Zangief, Sagat, Ken, and Blanka. Guile is sitting out, playing the General, watching his troops.

LARRY MERCHANT: I’ll say it again—I think Vince McMahon got cold feet. He saw Zangief dismantle those “warm-up” fighters and he didn’t want to see his #1 assets, Triple H and Austin, get their limbs torn off before the World Cup. He’s sent in the “Expendables” to do the dirty work. If the Street Fighters win this, the “WWF Mafia” is going to have a serious credibility crisis on their hands.

JIM LAMPLEY: It’s a war of styles. The monsters of the ring versus the legends of the street. The cage is locked. The “Match Beyond” is next!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: Savage’s win keeps him in the hunt for the WrestleMania Heavyweight Title shot, but Bret Hart’s P4P index might actually stay higher because he dominated the majority of the fight. Up next: Can the Wrestlers’ “Monsters” handle the speed and “Yoga-style” offense of the Street Fighters? ]]

MATCH: Team Street Fighter vs. Team Wrestler RESULT: Team Street Fighter via Pinfall (Sagat on Big Show)

[[ IN-RING INTERVIEW: LARRY MERCHANT ]]

LARRY MERCHANT: (Microphone in hand, looking skeptical) I’m standing here with the victorious Street Fighters. A “statement” win, perhaps, but a messy one. Guile, congratulations on the victory. You could have ended this much earlier when Zangief had Kane pinned, but then your man Ken Masters comes in with a steel chair, hits Kane, but clobbers Zangief in the process, breaking up his own teammate’s pin. Give me your thoughts—is this the military precision you promised?

GUILE: (Stiff, arms crossed) A win is a win, Merchant. In the fog of war, friendly fire happens. The objective was completed: the Wrestling Team is broken. I’ll deal with the disciplinary issues in the barracks.

LARRY MERCHANT: Well, let’s ask the “disciplined” one. Zangief, you entered second and quite literally demolished everything in your path. You were a one-man rescue squad, switching targets to keep Kane and Big Show off your smaller teammates. Was it Guile’s strategy to use you as a human shield, or did you just decide to play hero? And while you’re at it, what do you think of Ken’s “help” with that chair?

ZANGIEF: (Towering over Larry, huffing) My muscles are for the protection of my comrades! Guile said “Neutralize the Giants,” so I neutralize! I take Kane, I take Big Show. It is what I do! As for Little Ken… (glances at Ken) …he has the spirit of a tiger, but the aim of a blind donkey. He is lucky I have thick skull, or his chair would be in pieces and my head would be flat!

LARRY MERCHANT: (Turning to Ken Masters) Ken, you look offended. But the tape doesn’t lie. You blundered. The strategy was for you to check X-Pac while Sagat and Big Show were isolated. Did you stop that pin on purpose because you wanted to keep fighting, or was it just a rookie mistake? Was this a “Masters Solo Project,” or did you just forget which team you were on?

KEN MASTERS: (Visibly fuming, stepping toward Larry) A rookie mistake? Are you kidding me? I’ve fought in more countries than you’ve had hot meals, Larry! I saw Kane moving—I thought he was going to kick out, so I took the shot! I’m a high-octane fighter; I don’t sit around waiting for a three-count. We won, didn’t we? Maybe if the “experts” at the desk spent less time analyzing and more time in a dojo, they’d understand split-second instinct!

LARRY MERCHANT: (Dryly) Instinct usually involves hitting the other guy, Ken. (Turns to Sagat) Sagat, you got the pin, but you looked… diminished. You looked slow, perhaps still feeling the effects of that brutal war with Adon or the beating Ryu gave you in the boondocks. You almost got pinned by the Big Show yourself. If Zangief hadn’t rescued you three times, you’d be the one losing the war. What do you think of this strategy that left you alone with a 500-pounder while your teammate was busy sabotaging pins?

SAGAT: (Looking down at his scarred chest, voice a low rumble) The Big Show is a mountain… but mountains can be toppled. My body is weary, yes, but my “Tiger Knee” still finds the mark. Guile’s strategy was sound—isolate the threat. Zangief is a brother-in-arms; his strength is my strength. As for the “hiccups”… the King of Muay Thai does not care how the victory comes, only that he is the one standing over the fallen.

[[ RINGSIDE: THE HBO BOXING DESK ]]

[The camera pans back to Jim Lampley and Lennox Lewis as the Wrestling Team—Kane, Big Show, X-Pac, and Farooq—all shove the camera away and storm out of the arena in silence.]

JIM LAMPLEY: A bitter exit for the Wrestlers, but a historic night for the Street Fighters. Lennox, that was twenty-five minutes of pure, unadulterated chaos.

LENNOX LEWIS: It was a mess, Jim. Zangief was the MVP. Without him, the Street Fighters would have been crushed early. Ken Masters showed a lot of heart but zero discipline. You can’t have “friendly fire” in a cage match of this magnitude. But in the end, Sagat’s experience told. He took the punishment and waited for the opening.

[Larry Merchant slides back into his seat, still looking agitated.]

LARRY MERCHANT: It’s symptomatic of the whole night, Jim. This “WarGames” was a shell of itself because the two biggest stars were pulled out. And now, we head into the Co-Main Event. The UWC Title. The “Holy Grail.” Hogan vs. Kurt Angle.

JIM LAMPLEY: The first-ever Undisputed Champion. The man whose name will be etched alongside the greats.

LARRY MERCHANT: (Leaning in) Let’s be honest, Jim. This is exactly what the “WWF Mafia” wanted. They pulled The Rock and Ken Shamrock out of the 4-way to make it a one-on-one. Why? Because you can’t control a 4-way. Hogan could have been pinned by luck or a fluke. But in a one-on-one? They get the “Ideal Situation.” I suspect Vince was in cahoots with Triple H to attack the Rock, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Shamrock was “encouraged” to pull out. They want Hogan as the first face of that belt for the ratings…

LENNOX LEWIS: (Quickly interjecting) Larry, Larry… let’s keep it to the tactical side! We don’t want the lawyers in the ring before the fighters. Tactically speaking, Jim, this is a nightmare for Kurt Angle. He’s the better wrestler, the better technician, but he’s fighting the “Immortality” of Hogan in a match where the world expects the Hulkster to win.

JIM LAMPLEY: It’s the ultimate test. The Olympic Gold Medalist versus the Icon of an Era. The luck factor is gone. Only the elite remain. The Holy Grail is on the line… next!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: The tension at the announcer’s desk is as high as the ring! Larry is lucky Lennox cut him off—Vince McMahon was reportedly seen glaring at the monitors during that “Mafia” comment. Up next: Hogan vs. Angle. Can Kurt’s technical wrestling overcome the pure power and momentum of the Hulkster? ]]

SURVIVOR SERIES: THE “FINAL” KANSAS CITY CARD

Posted on by Chinito Henson

GUESTS: Teddy Atlas

DATE: November 25, 2026 (1 Day to Survivor Series)

TOPIC: The “Cowardice” of the Boxing Syndicate, the UWC Holy Grail, and the Death of the WarGames.

JOE ROGAN: (Leaning into the mic, eyes wide) “Teddy, we are one day out. One day. And the Boxing Team just… they just evaporated. They pulled out. ‘Health reasons.’ Mental health? Give me a break. You and I both know what happened. They saw the footage from Japan. They saw what Zangief did to a 500-pound Sumo and two pro-wrestlers in three weeks. They realized that a cage doesn’t protect you from a 400-pound Russian; it just keeps you trapped in there with him.”

TEDDY ATLAS: (Intense, leaning forward) “Joe, let’s call it what it is. It’s a lack of character! It’s the ‘Dark Side’ of the sweet science. These promoters—Arum, King—they saw their investments about to get their necks snapped. They looked at the ‘Red Cyclone’ and realized there’s no blueprint for that kind of strength. It’s like being asked to box a hurricane. You don’t box it; you run for the basement. And they ran, Joe. They ran.”

JOE ROGAN: “It’s crazy because Triple H is still in. I’m actually surprised the ‘Cerebral Assassin’ hasn’t found a ‘medical’ excuse yet. He’s stuck! If he pulls out now, after the Boxers already bailed, the WWF ‘Mafia’ would skin him alive. There’d be no Survivor Series. So now it’s just the Wrestlers vs. the Street Fighters. A 4-on-4 bloodbath. And honestly? Without the Boxers taking up space, Zangief has a clearer path to Austin and Hunter. It’s terrifying.”

TEDDY ATLAS: “It’s a different kind of pressure, Joe. But let’s look at the opener. Ultimate Warrior vs. Gen. This is fascinating to me. Gen is a legend in the underground, but the man is dying. He’s literally requested to fight the best before he goes. The medical team cleared him—they say the stress of the fight actually focuses him. But he’s fighting a 250-pound powerhouse in the Warrior. Warrior is 2-1, he destroyed Hall and Mad Dogg, but he got caught by Bischoff. He’s ranked #25 because of that lapse in focus. If he doesn’t respect the ‘Old Master,’ Gen will pick him apart with those pressure points before his heart even realizes he’s in a fight.”

JOE ROGAN: “Then you’ve got Bret Hart vs. Randy Savage. Man, two legends outside the Top 10. They’re looking at that Heavyweight list—Hogan, Rock, Angle—and they realize the door is closing. Bret looked great against Piper, he’s 32, he’s in his window. Savage is 37. If Randy doesn’t win this, he can kiss that WrestleMania title shot goodbye. They need to be busy like Zangief, but they don’t have the youth. It’s a ‘desperation’ match, Teddy.”

TEDDY ATLAS: “It’s about the ‘Holy Grail,’ Joe. The UWC Title. Hogan vs. Kurt Angle. This is Neil Armstrong territory. Whoever wins this is the first. You can be the tenth champion, nobody cares. But the first? That’s immortality. And let’s be real—The Rock is injured, Shamrock pulled out saying he ‘wasn’t ready.’ Shamrock is a warrior, but he knows the UFC belt is a minor league trophy compared to the UWC. He saw the level Hogan and Angle are on and he realized he wasn’t in that zip code yet.”

JOE ROGAN: “And the tragedy of it all? That match should be the Main Event. But because Ted DiBiase is a tactical genius and a piece of work, he’s forced Hogan into a second fight. Hogan has to go through the most dangerous technical wrestler on earth in Kurt Angle for the UWC, and then—bloodied, tired, and maybe broken—he has to defend the USA belt against DiBiase. It’s the most ‘Vegas’ setup I’ve ever seen. DiBiase didn’t out-wrestle him; he out-lawyered him.”

TEDDY ATLAS: “It’s the ultimate test of a champion’s soul. Hogan is fighting for the history books at 8:00 PM, and fighting for his flag at 10:00 PM. If he leaves Kansas City with both belts, Joe… we have to stop talking about him as a ‘wrestler’ and start talking about him as the greatest combat athlete to ever walk the earth. Period.”

[[ SURVIVOR SERIES: THE “FINAL” KANSAS CITY CARD ]]

Match Type Participants
OPENER Heritage Match Ultimate Warrior (#25) vs. Gen (#21)
CLIMB Heavyweight Grudge Bret Hart (2-1) vs. Randy Savage (1-1)
WARGAMES 4-on-4 Grudge Team Wrestler vs. Team Street Fighter
CO-MAIN The Holy Grail Hulk Hogan (#1) vs. Kurt Angle (#4) – UWC Title
MAIN EVENT The Mandate Hulk Hogan vs. Ted DiBiase (#7) – USA Title

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: The Boxers pulling out has turned the WarGames into a ‘pure’ grudge match. Zangief is now the heavy favorite to win the MVP of the night. If Hogan survives Angle, can he possibly have enough left for the Million Dollar Man? ]]

THE JOE ROGAN EXPERIENCE #2008 One Week to Survivor Series

Posted on by Chinito Henson

GUESTS: Teddy Atlas

DATE: November 25, 2000 (One Week to Survivor Series)

TOPIC: The “Red Cyclone” Sweep and the WarGames Power Shift

JOE ROGAN: (Leaning in, eyes wide) “Teddy, we just witnessed a literal human demolition derby over the last three weeks. I told you! I told everyone! Zangief isn’t just a guy who lifts weights; he is a force of nature. He goes to Japan, he stares down Akebono—a 500-pound mountain—and he doesn’t just beat him, he erases him. A Spinning Piledriver on a Sumo Grand Champion? My brain couldn’t process the physics of that, man.”

TEDDY ATLAS: (Nodding slowly) “It was surgical, Joe. But look at the WWF’s reaction. Farooq pulls out—likely ‘advised’ to stay healthy for the WarGames—and they throw John Cena at him in Kansas City. Cena’s a powerhouse, a young lion, but Zangief treated him like a sparring partner. It’s the strength, Joe. It’s that ‘Old World’ strength. It’s not gym muscle; it’s bone-density and leverage.”

JOE ROGAN: “And then the Hurricane! That was the most fascinating one to me. Everyone thought it was a joke match, but Hurricane used that movement—the same movement that frustrated The Rock—and actually lasted longer than the giants! He was buzzing around him like a mosquito, but once Zangief timed that grab… boom. Game over. That Piledriver, Teddy… it makes the Undertaker’s Tombstone look like a pillow fight. The rotation he gets? It’s terrifying.”

TEDDY ATLAS: “But here’s the question, Joe: Is he Top 10 P4P yet? He’s 3-0 in twenty-one days. That’s a work rate we haven’t seen since the early days of boxing. But the ‘Gonzaga’ software is cruel. It looks at the weight of the opponents. Akebono is huge, but Cena and Hurricane are smaller. The software might dock him points for ‘hunting’ smaller prey, even if he destroyed them.”

JOE ROGAN: “I disagree, man. I think the ‘Activity Multiplier’ is going to launch him. You can’t win three fights in three weeks against established WWF talent and not be in the Top 10. If he isn’t #6 or #7 by Monday, the system is rigged. He’s the only guy going into WarGames with a ‘hot hand.’ Everyone else—Austin, Triple H, De La Hoya—they’ve been sitting in camps, overthinking. Zangief is already in ‘kill mode.'”

TEDDY ATLAS: “It’s the ‘Honey Badger’ effect, Joe. He’s untamed. But Vince and Hunter… they were watching. They gave him those three fights to see if he’d tire out. He didn’t. He’s not even breathing hard! Now, the Wrestlers and the Boxers have to deal with a 400-pound Russian who is perfectly calibrated. If I’m Butterbean, I’m not looking to trade hooks with that guy. I’m looking for the exit.”

[[ WARGAMES SCOUTING: THE ZANGIEF EFFECT ]]

Opponent Result Method Duration
Akebono Taro WIN Spinning Piledriver (Pinfall) 1:42
John Cena WIN Spinning Piledriver (Pinfall) 2:15
The Hurricane WIN Spinning Piledriver (Pinfall) 4:55

[[ ANALYSIS: THE “FINAL FORM” ]]

  • The Piledriver Factor: Unlike the Tombstone, Zangief’s version involves a 360-degree mid-air rotation. The centrifugal force adds roughly 30% more impact to the cranium than a standard vertical drop.

  • The Cardio Myth: The WWF hoped the 3-fight schedule would drain Zangief. Instead, it served as a “warm-up.” He is entering Survivor Series with zero injuries and 100% confidence.

The World Cup Qualifiers & The “Yoga Illusionist” Scouting Report

Posted on by Chinito Henson

[[ THE JOE ROGAN EXPERIENCE #2015 ]]

GUESTS: Jerry “The King” Lawler

JOE ROGAN: (Leaning in) “Jerry, we’re talking about the most insane global scheduling I’ve ever seen. The ‘WWF Mafia’ just dropped the calendar. Every country has until December 31st to finalize their rep or they lose their spot to the alternates. It’s a total scramble.”

KING LAWLER: (Laughing) “Joe, it’s a mess! But look at the Philippines. Agatom just made a massive power move. He realized that fighting President Erap would be a disaster for the country’s morale. So Erap is stepping down to ‘focus on the nation,’ but Agatom isn’t just taking it. He’s dedicated his training to the Filipino people. He said, ‘I don’t need to fight my President to prove I’m the best; I’ll prove it in the World Cup.’ It’s a genius move, really. He avoided the ‘Civil War’ and now he’s got the whole country behind him.”

JOE ROGAN: “It’s smart, man. If they hadn’t settled it, Hang Man Choi was ready to swoop in and take that slot. Now Choi is stuck as an alternate. But let’s talk about the ‘Day 1’ qualifying schedule. This is how the Mafia is finishing the year:”

[[ THE DECEMBER “DAY 1” QUALIFYING CALENDAR ]]

  • Dec 7 (RAW): Japan Semi-Finals — Yokozuna vs. Changed Man | Ryu vs. Retsu.

  • Dec 11 (SmackDown): Australia Biker Brawl — Mad Dogg vs. Road Kill (Last Man Standing).

  • Dec 14 (RAW): The India Showcase — Dhalsim vs. Golimar.

  • Dec 21 (SmackDown): Italy: The Passing of the Torch — Bruno Sammartino vs. Mario.

  • Dec 28 (RAW): The Russian Ultimatum — Fedor Emelianenko vs. Steven Seagal (Final Qualifier).

JOE ROGAN: “Speaking of the India match… Jerry, have you seen the scouting report on Dhalsim? The Microsoft ‘Gonzaga’ Ratings just updated, and they are weird.”

[[ SCOUTING REPORT: DHALSIM ]]

Nickname: The Long-Armed Yogi Origin: Kerala, India

  • Physical Stats:

    • Height: 5’9″ (Variable up to 15’0″ mid-strike)

    • Weight: 106 lbs (Emaciated/Ascetic build)

    • Push-up Capacity: N/A (Practices ‘Planche’ holds for hours instead)

  • The “Flexibility” Truth: “Look, people think it’s magic. It’s not. The Microsoft software shows he has a rare connective tissue disorder—extreme hypermobility—combined with years of ‘dislocation training.’ He literally pops his shoulders and hips out of the socket mid-punch to gain reach. It’s disgusting to watch on an X-ray, man.”

  • The “Fire” Secret: “I talked to a guy in the production crew. The ‘Yoga Fire’ is just a fancy firedance. He’s hiding a small vial of high-octane accelerant in his mouth and igniting it with a sparker hidden in his glove. It’s basically a localized gasoline explosion. The WWF doctors said they’ll only allow it in ‘Extreme Rules’ matches because of the risk of third-degree burns to the ref.”

[[ MICROSOFT “GONZAGA” RATINGS ]]

  • Reach: 100/100 (Unmatched)

  • Defense: 92/100 (Teleportation-style movement)

  • Durability: 15/100 (One clean shot from a Heavyweight ends him)

  • Overall Threat: B+ Tier (Zoner Specialist)

KING LAWLER: “But Joe, what about Mario? This guy is 0-2! He got destroyed by Cena and Ryu! Why is Bruno Sammartino giving him a shot for Italy? Bruno says he wants a ‘passing of the torch,’ but is Mario even a torch-bearer?”

JOE ROGAN: “Jerry, you have to respect the kid! Mario is the only guy who stood up and fought Ryu and Cena when everyone else was making excuses. He’s a risk-taker. He was doing parkour off buildings and pipes before it was a thing—that’s how he got that game made about him! Bruno sees that heart. Bruno told the Mafia, ‘Italy will vote for me every time, but give the kid a chance to earn it.’ If Mario can beat the Living Legend in a fair fight, he’s going to be the biggest underdog at the World Cup.”

KING LAWLER: “He better bring more than a red hat, Joe. Sammartino is built like a brick wall. Mario’s going to need a lot more than ‘parkour’ to move that mountain.”

JOE ROGAN: “December is going to be the most important month in WWF history. We’re going to find out who’s real and who’s just ‘illusion.'”

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: The “Day 1” bracket is almost full. If Mario pulls off the upset against Bruno, the Italy vs. Canada (Bret Hart) match in January will be the most-watched technical bout in Europe. ]]