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CELEBRITIES REACTS TO THE NEW WWF Pound per Pound Rankings: RANKING REACTION PART II

Posted on July 3, 2000March 21, 2026 by Chinito Henson

Yo! The forum server nearly crashed today. While the Top 10 lists are out, the biggest noise is coming from the people who weren’t on it. If you haven’t stepped into a WWF ring yet, you don’t get a score—and some of the baddest men on the planet are taking that as a personal insult.

I’ve spent the last 20 hours tracking down the “Unranked” and some of the biggest stars of the Y2K era to see what the “Casuals” think of the Mafia’s new math.

[[ THE UNRANKED TITANS: THE BIG THREE ]]

BILL GOLDBERG: > “You want to talk about rankings? You want to talk about ‘PFP scores’? I don’t need a spreadsheet to tell me I’m the baddest man in this industry. The only reason I’m not #1 is because I haven’t walked through that smoke yet. Vince, you keep your little list. Keep Kimbo at the top. But when Goldberg arrives, there won’t be a Top 10—there will just be me and a pile of bodies. WHO’S NEXT?!“
CHUCK NORRIS (Age 48): > (Calmly sipping tea in a dojo) “It’s interesting to see how the ‘Mafia’ values street fighting over discipline. I’ve seen the list. I’ve seen the scores. But rankings are like shadows—they look big until the sun goes down. I don’t need a WWF fight to know where I stand. If they want a real master on that list, they know my number. But be careful what you wish for.”
JACKIE CHAN (Age 39): > (Laughing while hanging off a scaffolding) “I see the rankings! Very exciting! Agatom is so fast, very good for the Philippines! 🇵🇭 But they say I am not on the list because I have no fight? I fight every day on camera! Maybe I come to the WWF and show them that you don’t need a heavy hook if you can use a ladder and a chair better than anyone else. No stunts, just Jackie!”

[[ SURPRISE! THE CELEBRITY “CASUAL” REACTIONS ]]

I polled the biggest names in Hollywood, Music, and Sports to see if they’re buying the hype.

FRED DURST (Limp Bizkit): “Yo, the list is significant! Kimbo at #1? That’s the energy we need for 2000. It’s raw, it’s red-cap music. We’re actually talking about having Kimbo in our next video. Rankings are dope, keep it rolling!”
BRITNEY SPEARS: “Oh my goodness, I saw the list! I’m a huge fan of The Rock—he’s so charismatic! ⚡️ But I feel bad for the people who didn’t make it yet. It’s like the charts; you have to work hard to get to #1!”
EMINEM: “Kimbo Slice? The guy from the internet? Look, if the WWF wants a real villain, they should rank Slim Shady. I’ve got a better reach with my words than Butterbean has with his fists. The list is a joke until I’m on it.”
SHAQUILLE O’NEAL: “I just won the Finals MVP and the Championship. 🏆 I know what #1 looks like. Kimbo is doing his thing, but if they want a real Super Heavyweight, they need to look at ‘The Big Aristotle.’ I’ll dunk on that whole Top 10.”
TOM CRUISE: “I’ve seen the training these guys do—it’s intense. 🕶️ I respect the PFP model. It’s like a Mission Impossible: you either perform or you’re out. I’m watching RVD closely; that guy has movie-star agility.”
JENNIFER LOPEZ: “The fashion in the WWF right now? Iconic. 👗 But the rankings… I think Prince Naseem is too low! He has the style and the record. He should be #1!”
ADAM SANDLER: “I saw the list and I called my buddy Rob Schneider. We’re thinking about starting our own ranking for ‘Best Waterboys.’ But seriously, Butterbean? That guy looks like he gives great hugs… right before he kills you.”
LEONARDO DICAPRIO: “It’s fascinating to see the cultural shift toward this ‘Unfiltered’ combat. 🏖️ I’m a fan of the underdog stories, so seeing Agatom get a win in Japan was the highlight for me.”
WILL SMITH: “July 2000 is looking hot! 🔥 Kimbo is the Fresh Prince of the Streets! I love the energy, but I’m waiting for Bill Goldberg to show up and flip the whole script.”
TIGER WOODS: “Performance under pressure—that’s all that matters. ⛳ The PFP score of 8 for Kimbo is a strong start, but like a Sunday at the Masters, it’s about how you finish the season, not how you start it.”

[[ THE THREAD: THE “UNRANKED” UPRISING ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

GOLDBERG VS KIMBO!! 👊 Imagine the PFP score if Goldberg wins his debut. The “Mafia” wouldn’t know what to do. And Chuck Norris? The guy is 48 and still looks like he could take out the whole Light Heavyweight division.

Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

Did you hear Eminem?! 🎤 Slim Shady in the WWF would be the most chaotic thing ever. He’d probably manage X-Pac just to mess with Triple H.

User: HadoukenKid

Jackie Chan using the ring environment would be legendary. 🪜 He wouldn’t even need a finisher, he’d just trip you with a cameraman’s cable. WWF 2000 is getting way too big for just one list!

User: BeefSlammer69

SHAQ IN THE SUPER HEAVYWEIGHTS!! 🏀💥 Imagine Shaq vs Andre the Giant. The ring would literally collapse. I don’t care about the scores, I want the carnage! 👊😤

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that Goldberg was spotted at a private airport heading toward Dallas. If he shows up at the “Titan Clash” on July 23rd, these rankings are going to be obsolete by midnight! ]]

RANKING REACTION LEAK: FROM THE OVAL OFFICE TO THE LOCKER ROOM

Posted on July 2, 2000March 21, 2026 by Chinito Henson

Yo! The July 1st rankings dropped like a pipe bomb, and the fallout is reaching way beyond the squared circle. I’ve been monitors the feeds, “wiretapping” the back offices, and catching quotes from the biggest names in the world.

Some are calling the PFP scoring a revolution; others are calling it a “mafia hit” on their legacies. Here is how the icons reacted to the first official WWF-Universe standings.

[[ THE POWER PLAYERS: THE FRONT OFFICE & THE LOCKER ROOM ]]

TRIPLE H: > “A PFP score of 8 for a backyard brawler? You’ve got to be kidding me. Kimbo Slice hasn’t even stepped in the ring with a ‘Cerebral Assassin’ yet. These rankings aren’t a measure of skill; they’re a measure of hype. While The Rock is busy celebrating his #4 spot like he won a Grammy, I’m in the gym preparing to dismantle the system. You want to see a real PFP leader? Watch what I do to X-Pac. Then we’ll see who’s ‘electrifying’ and who’s just… irrelevant.”
VINCE MCMAHON: > “Look at those numbers! Kimbo Slice at #1… Prince Naseem at #2… it’s exactly what I envisioned! A global melting pot of carnage! People are questioning the ‘early season’ scoring? Ha! In the WWF, every second is a season. If you aren’t on the board now, you’re already a dinosaur. This is sports entertainment’s evolution, and if the ‘old guard’ doesn’t like it, they can find a new museum to rot in!”
KURT ANGLE: > “I’m an Olympic Gold Medalist! I won with a broken freakin’ neck! How am I ranked #7 in Light Heavyweight behind a guy named ‘RVD’ who does flips for a living? And Kimbo Slice is #1 PFP? Has he ever wrestled in the amateurs? Has he ever represented his country? This list is a travesty of the Three I’s: Intensity, Integrity, and Intelligence. I’m going to personally suplex every person on this list until I’m #1. It’s true… it’s damn true!”

[[ THE LEGENDS: BOXING, BASKETBALL, & THE “GOLDEN ERA” ]]

MIKE TYSON: > “I see the list. Kimbo’s a tough kid, he’s got that hunger. But PFP #1? You can’t crown a king before he’s bled in a championship round. And Butterbean at #6? He’s a wrecking ball, but he’s fighting ghosts. I want to see these guys under my lights. Until then, these rankings are just paper. When ‘Iron Mike’ steps in, the only ranking that matters is who’s still awake when the bell rings.”
MICHAEL JORDAN: > “I saw the report. #4 for The Rock? 3-0? That’s cute. In Chicago, 3-0 is just the first quarter. I don’t care about ‘PFP Scores.’ I care about who’s holding the trophy at the end. I took it personally that they didn’t even mention ‘The Goat’ in the crossover discussions. If the WWF wants a real #1, they know where to find me. Until then, stay out of my way.”
HULK HOGAN: > “Well let me tell you something, Brother! I’m #4 in the Super Heavyweights and #8 in the Heavyweights? The Hulkster is a global icon! I’ve slammed giants and ruled the world while Kimbo was still in diapers! The PFP score is a joke, dude. The power of Hulkamania doesn’t fit on a spreadsheet. But hey, if the fans want to see the ‘Real #1’ take that Super Heavyweight spot from Butterbean… then Watcha Gonna Do?!”
BRUNO SAMMARTINO: > “In my day, you didn’t need a ‘score’ to know who the champion was. You defended the title for years, not weeks. This WWF is a circus. Seeing these ‘street fighters’ ranked above men who spent decades in the trenches is an insult to the history of this business. Vince can keep his rankings; I’ll keep my dignity.”

[[ THE PHILIPPINE CONNECTION & THE OVAL OFFICE ]]

BILL CLINTON: > “I’ve looked at the data, and it’s certainly an ambitious statistical model. Seeing a 116-pounder like Agatom represent the Philippines with such heart… that’s the kind of international cooperation we like to see. As for the PFP scores being ‘early,’ well, sometimes the first hundred days tell you everything you need to know about a term.”
JOSEPH ESTRADA (Erap): > “Agatom is a true Filipino hero! Small but terrible! 🇵🇭 He recovered in Japan like a true ‘Action Star.’ As for the rankings… as long as our boy is winning, the math is correct! We don’t care about the Super Heavyweights—we have the heart of a lion!”
KRIS AQUINO: > “Oh my gosh, Agatom! It’s so nakaka-proud! ❤️ Did you see how he beat ‘Changed Man’? It was like a movie! But Kimbo Slice at #1? Is he even cute? I think the scoring is a bit ‘over-acting,’ but as long as we have a Filipino in the top ranks, I’m here for the drama! Love, love, love!”

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: The “PFP Scoring” is based on Strength of Schedule and Finish Rate. Kimbo is #1 because he finishes fights in seconds. If the wrestlers want to move up, they need to stop going to 20-minute draws and start knocking people out! ]]

JULY 1st STATE OF THE UNION: RANKINGS, RVD’S ASCENSION, & THE FILIPINO PHENOM

Posted on July 1, 2000March 21, 2026 by Chinito Henson

Yo! We are officially six months into the chaos that is the WWF-Universe. The dust from the “Chicago Carnage” and the international tours has finally settled enough for the “Mafia” to release the official mid-year power rankings.

From the streets of Miami to the rings of Japan, the hierarchy of combat has never been more volatile. Here is your July 1st briefing.

[[ THE LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT SEMI-FINALS: RVD ADVANCES ]]

Rob Van Dam def. Shawn Michaels (via Pinfall – June 19)

The Match: In what many are calling the “Technical Masterpiece of the Summer,” RVD managed to survive a Sweet Chin Music attempt and counter with a split-legged moonsault.
The Result: RVD officially punches his ticket to the next round. HBK looked stunned, but the respect was visible. RVD is now the #3 ranked Light Heavyweight in the world and climbing fast.

[[ THE GLOBAL INVASION: AGATOM’S REDEMPTION ]]

Agatom def. “Changed Man” (via Pinfall – June 26 in Japan)

The Context: After a heartbreaking debut loss to the mysterious Golimar, the smallest fighter in the WWF (116 lbs) headed back to the East to find his rhythm.
The Fight: Agatom faced the Japanese masked daredevil and stuntman, “Changed Man.” The speed in this match was terrifying.
The Finish: The Filipino High Flyer proved that heart outweighs mass. He recovered from a high-risk dive to secure a pinfall in front of a stunned Tokyo crowd. Agatom is officially on the board!

[[ OFFICIAL MID-YEAR RANKINGS: JULY 1, 2000 ]]

POUND FOR POUND (PFP)

The top of the mountain belongs to the backyard legend, but the “Prince” and the “Greatest” are breathing down his neck.

Rank	Name	Record	Score
#1	Kimbo Slice	3-0-0	8
#2	Prince Naseem Hamed	1-0-0	4
#3	Rickson Gracie	1-0-0	4
#4	The Rock	3-0-0	4
#5	Ted DiBiase	2-0-0	3

DIVISIONAL LEADERS

SUPER HEAVYWEIGHT: Butterbean (#1) holds the top spot after his June conquest, with Andre the Giant (#2) and Bob Sapp (#3) ready for the “Titan Clash.”
HEAVYWEIGHT: Kimbo Slice (#1) leads the pack. The Rock (#2) has moved up following his win over Neidhart, while Fedor (#9) and Couture (#10) have officially entered the top ten.
LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT: Kimbo (#1) somehow dominates here too, but Shane McMahon (#2) and RVD (#3) are the real story. John Cena (The Prototype) sits at #8, looking for his breakout.
CRUISERWEIGHT: Prince Naseem (#1) and Rickson (#2) rule the technical ranks. Golimar holds #8, while the legend Gen rounds out the top 10 at #10.

[[ THE ANALYST’S DESK: JULY OUTLOOK ]]

Joe Rogan: “Kimbo Slice at #1 PFP with an 8 score is absolute insanity. 🥊 He’s dominant, but look at Rickson Gracie at #3. If Rickson gets Kimbo on the ground, that score won’t mean anything. Also, shoutout to Agatom—116 pounds of pure lightning. That kid is ‘tight’!”

Jim Lampley: “BANG! The Rock is surging! ⚡️ After the Vader and Neidhart wins, he’s the most active fighter on the list. But can we talk about Ted DiBiase at #5? He’s buying his way into the elite tier, and Savage is the only thing standing in his way!”

[[ THE THREAD: RANKING RAGE ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

KIMBO #1!! 👊 3-0 and a score of 8? That’s dominance. I’m glad to see RVD at #3 in Light Heavyweight. Beating HBK was no fluke. He’s going all the way to the gold.

Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

Agatom winning in Japan is the real feel-good story. 🇵🇭 The smallest guy in the room just silenced the “Changed Man.” I want to see him vs Rey Mysterio (#9 CW). That’s a high-flyer’s dream!

User: HadoukenKid

Ryu (#6 CW) and Ken (#5 CW) are ranked too low. They’ve only had one match each! Wait until the “Titan Clash” is over and the Street Fighters start moving up the PFP ranks. 🐯🕶️

User: BeefSlammer69

BUTTERBEAN #1 SUPER HEAVY!! 🥩 3-0 is 3-0. I don’t care if he fought legends or grandpas, nobody has been able to stop him. SummerSlam is gonna be wild! 👊😤

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m noticing a name missing from the Top 10 PFP… Triple H. After his recent interview, I expect he’s going to go on a rampage to force his way into these rankings. Watch your backs! ]]