Joe Rogan: “Dude… did you watch RAW last night? The energy in that arena was completely insane. It’s wild to watch what’s happening with Steve Austin right now. He has completely flipped the script on the entire business.”
Bryan Callen: “It’s frustrating, Joe! As a fan, you wanted Hogan! The whole world wanted Austin versus Hogan. It’s the biggest money match you could possibly make right now. Hogan has the USA belt, he’s a contender. Why would Austin pick Vader?”
Joe Rogan: “See, that’s where you have to look at the martial arts reality of this. Austin is playing high-level psychological warfare. Ever since April 1st, when he tricked The Rock into fighting Mick Foley—which was a brutal, physical trap, by the way—and then cracked Rock with that steel chair, half the fanbase thinks Austin is running scared. They think he’s terrified of the younger, faster Rock. So what does he do last night? He stands in the ring and completely bypasses Hogan.
On paper, people are furious because Vader is ranked #15 on the WFC pound-for-pound list. Hogan is way higher up. But look at the credentials, man. Vader holds the legitimate UFC Heavyweight Championship belt right now. He is a dangerous, heavy-hitting shoot-fighter. Austin can claim to the media, ‘Hey, I’m fighting a current world champion from a different discipline,’ while completely avoiding the nostalgic fan-favorite in Hogan and ducking a Rock rematch. It’s incredibly manipulative, but from a tactical standpoint? It’s brilliant. He’s protecting his spot at #1 P4P while fighting an absolute monster.”
Bryan Callen: “It makes him look terrified though, Joe. The fans were literally screaming ‘coward’ at the top of their lungs.”
Joe Rogan: “Oh, the heat was radioactive, man. But let’s talk about the rest of the card because some historical stuff happened last night. The Dudley Boyz made their official WFC debut.”
Bryan Callen: “Oh, they are so good. Bubba Ray and D-Von.”
Joe Rogan: “Right. And what’s fascinating is the WFC management completely bypassed the standard gatekeeper match for them. Usually, if you come from an outside promotion, you have to fight your way in through a trial match to earn a roster spot. But the Dudleys are such a decorated, legendary tag team outside the WFC that they got brought straight in.
But man, the mid-card had one of the craziest debuts I’ve ever seen. D-Von Dudley gets booked into a singles match against this unknown prospect—this massive, absolutely shredded Filipino bodybuilder kid named Dave Batista.”
Bryan Callen: “Dude, that guy is a freak of nature. The traps on him are up to his ears.”
Joe Rogan: “He’s a specimen, man. Unbelievable genetics. He’s out there representing the Philippines, gets a shot at a WFC contract if he beats D-Von, and he just destroys him. The power-to-weight ratio on this kid is terrifying. He hits D-Von with this devastating powerbomb, gets the three-count, and earns his official contract right there.
But the genius part was the aftermath. D-Von gets up, realizes he just got his lunch handed to him by a future superstar, and instead of starting a feud, he uses his brain. He hires the kid on the spot! He makes this giant Filipino powerhouse his official personal bodyguard. It’s a great business move by D-Von, because nobody is going to touch him with Batista standing behind him.”
Bryan Callen: “What about the main event? Bubba Ray didn’t have the same luck.”
Joe Rogan: “Dude, the main event was a clinic. A returning Eddie Guerrero goes one-on-one with Bubba Ray Dudley. Eddie has been away, he’s hungry, his technique is so crisp. Bubba Ray is a phenomenal brawler, and because he didn’t have D-Von or his new bodyguard Batista fully synced up at ringside yet, it was a pure singles contest.
Eddie completely neutralized Bubba’s size advantage with raw pacing and ring psychology. He hits that beautiful Frog Splash across the ring and gets the definitive pinfall victory. So the Dudleys come into the WFC with all this hype, D-Von gets a contract-earning beating from a terrifying Filipino rookie, and Bubba Ray drops the main event to a returning Eddie Guerrero.
The structural landscape of RAW is completely shifting, man. You’ve got a heel Stone Cold dodging icons to fight UFC champions, a massive new heavyweight prospect in Batista shaking up the division, and Eddie Guerrero throwing his hat right back into the contender conversation. It’s an unbelievable time to be a fan of the sport.”
Joe Rogan: “Wait, hold on. Jamie, look at the monitor real quick. Pull up Dave Batista’s bio. I want to see his athletic background. How old is this kid anyway? Because he looks like he’s in his mid-twenties with those logistics, but his muscle maturity is just off the charts.”
Young Jamie: (Typing in the background) “Uh, let’s see… Born January 18, 1969. So right now, in May 2002… dude, he’s actually 33 years old.”
Joe Rogan: “What?! No way. Thirty-three?! Are you kidding me, Jamie? Look at him! He’s 33 and he’s just now making his debut as a rookie prospect? That is completely wild, man. That is ancient for a guy breaking into the main roster of a major promotion!”
Bryan Callen: “Wow. I would have guessed 24, maybe 25 tops. The skin elasticity, the conditioning—he looks like an Olympic sprinter who just decided to double his body weight.”
Joe Rogan: “Dude, it’s completely unprecedented. Look at the other rookies WFC is pushing right now. Randy Orton is like 22 years old. Brock Lesnar is 24. Those guys have their entire twenties to callouse their bodies and learn the pacing of the ring. Batista is starting the clock at 33!
But honestly, man, from a physiological standpoint, it actually makes his debut even more terrifying. At 33, you aren’t dealing with boy-strength anymore. That is peak, grown-man, dense bone structure strength. If he’s been bodybuilding and bouncing in clubs up until now, his joints are already set. He isn’t going to get any taller, his frame is fully locked in, and he is just pure, raw power. No wonder D-Von Dudley took one look at him after getting flattened and said, ‘Yeah, I’m paying this guy to protect me.’ If you’re 33 and moving with that kind of explosive kinetic energy, you aren’t a prospect—you’re a finished weapon.”
Bryan Callen: “It makes you wonder how long his window is, though. If you start at 33, how many peak years do you really have left in a ring?”
Joe Rogan: “It depends entirely on his durability and his training methodology, man. If he stays flexible and doesn’t tear anything, a specimen with those genetics could easily dominate for another five to seven years. But man… 33. That blew my mind. Good catch, Jamie.”