WWE2K UNIVERSE

Author: Chinito Henson

THE “PRIVATE CONVERSATION”: AGATOM FACES THE KING & QUEEN OF SHOWBIZ!

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! I managed to snag a “bootleg” copy of the most anticipated interview in the Philippines. This isn’t your typical sports sit-down. Agatom, fresh off his win in Japan, sat down with the legendary duo Boy Abunda and Kris Aquino.

Expect a lot of tito advice, taklesa comments about his weight, and some deep dives into the secret brotherhood of Pinoy wrestlers. Here is the transcript from the “The Buzz” special: Agatom: Ang Batang High Flyer.

[[ THE INTERVIEW: BOY, KRIS, & AGATOM ]]

Boy Abunda: (Leaning in, palms pressed together) “Agatom… I want to look into your eyes. You are 116 pounds. You are in a ring with giants. My question is simple… Sino ka sa harap ng panganib? Who are you when the world is watching?”

Agatom: “Tito Boy, honestly? I’m just a kid from the streets who wanted to fly. When I’m on that top rope, I don’t see the giants. I only see the landing.”

Kris Aquino: (Interrupting while fanning herself) “Wait, wait, wait! Nakakaloka ha! Agatom, you are so liit! I mean, I love you, you’re so cute, but are you eating?! Tito Boy, look at his arms! My Bimby might be bigger than him in a few years! How do you survive those Super Heavyweights? Don’t they… you know… ipit you?”

Agatom: (Laughs nervously) “Ms. Kris, eating is actually the problem! If I get too heavy, I lose the speed. I have to stay light to survive. It’s not about being bigger; it’s about being harder to catch.”

Boy Abunda: “Let’s talk about your roots. People see you in the WWF now, but you didn’t start there. Are you still in touch with the others? Sina Ugat Puno, Palikpik, Joe Pogi… are you still brothers?”

Agatom: “Always, Tito Boy. We started in the local underground circuits—bare mats, no fancy lights. Ugat Puno was like a mentor to me; he taught me how to take a fall without breaking. And Palikpik? That guy is the reason I started doing high-flying moves. He told me, ‘If you can’t out-power them, out-fly them.’ We still talk. They sent me a telegram after the Japan win. They’re proud, but they’re also hungry. They want their shot at the WWF too.”

Kris Aquino: “Oh my God, telegram?! So retro! But wait, Agatom, I have to be taklesa ha—is it true that you and the ‘Changed Man’ in Japan had… you know… a moment? People are saying the match was too close. Like, was there kilig? Or was it pure bugbugan? Kasi his mask is kind of mysterious, right?”

Agatom: (Blushing) “Ms. Kris! It was pure business! ‘Changed Man’ is a stuntman, he’s a professional. There was no kilig, just a lot of bruises. He almost knocked me out with a kick, so I had to finish him fast.”

Boy Abunda: “Lights out. Fast talk. Takot o Tapang?” Agatom: “Tapang.” Boy Abunda: “Rock Bottom or People’s Elbow?” Agatom: “Neither. 450 Splash.” Boy Abunda: “Sino ang pinaka-kinatatakutan mo sa WWF?” Agatom: “Kimbo Slice. No question.” Kris Aquino: “I knew it! He looks so maton! If he chases you, Agatom, tumakbo ka sa akin, I’ll hide you in my house! It’s safe there, I have many security!”

[[ THE THREAD: SHOWBIZ VS. SPORTS ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

KRIS AQUINO IS WILD!! 🤣 Calling Agatom “liit” to his face while he’s a global star is peak Kris. But it’s cool to hear he’s still in touch with Ugat Puno and Palikpik. Those guys were the pioneers of the Pinoy underground!

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    I remember Ugat Puno! 🌳 He had that “native” wrestling style. If the WWF Mafia signs him, the Heavyweight division is in trouble. Agatom is just the tip of the iceberg for Filipino talent.

User: HadoukenKid

Boy Abunda asking about the “Sino ka?” is classic. 🎤 Agatom handled it well. But seriously, if Palikpik joins the Cruiserweights, he and Rey Mysterio would burn the arena down.

User: BeefSlammer69

AGATOM IN KRIS’S HOUSE?! 👊😤 Imagine Kimbo Slice trying to get past Kris Aquino’s security. That’s the real Main Event. Agatom is a legend for surviving that interview!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing rumors that Ugat Puno and Palikpik have been spotted at the WWF recruitment center in Subic. We might be seeing a “Pinoy Invasion” stable very soon! ]]

CELEBRITIES REACTS TO THE NEW WWF Pound per Pound Rankings: RANKING REACTION PART II

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! The forum server nearly crashed today. While the Top 10 lists are out, the biggest noise is coming from the people who weren’t on it. If you haven’t stepped into a WWF ring yet, you don’t get a score—and some of the baddest men on the planet are taking that as a personal insult.

I’ve spent the last 20 hours tracking down the “Unranked” and some of the biggest stars of the Y2K era to see what the “Casuals” think of the Mafia’s new math.

[[ THE UNRANKED TITANS: THE BIG THREE ]]

  • BILL GOLDBERG: > “You want to talk about rankings? You want to talk about ‘PFP scores’? I don’t need a spreadsheet to tell me I’m the baddest man in this industry. The only reason I’m not #1 is because I haven’t walked through that smoke yet. Vince, you keep your little list. Keep Kimbo at the top. But when Goldberg arrives, there won’t be a Top 10—there will just be me and a pile of bodies. WHO’S NEXT?!“

  • CHUCK NORRIS (Age 48): > (Calmly sipping tea in a dojo) “It’s interesting to see how the ‘Mafia’ values street fighting over discipline. I’ve seen the list. I’ve seen the scores. But rankings are like shadows—they look big until the sun goes down. I don’t need a WWF fight to know where I stand. If they want a real master on that list, they know my number. But be careful what you wish for.”

  • JACKIE CHAN (Age 39): > (Laughing while hanging off a scaffolding) “I see the rankings! Very exciting! Agatom is so fast, very good for the Philippines! 🇵🇭 But they say I am not on the list because I have no fight? I fight every day on camera! Maybe I come to the WWF and show them that you don’t need a heavy hook if you can use a ladder and a chair better than anyone else. No stunts, just Jackie!”

[[ SURPRISE! THE CELEBRITY “CASUAL” REACTIONS ]]

I polled the biggest names in Hollywood, Music, and Sports to see if they’re buying the hype.

  1. FRED DURST (Limp Bizkit): “Yo, the list is significant! Kimbo at #1? That’s the energy we need for 2000. It’s raw, it’s red-cap music. We’re actually talking about having Kimbo in our next video. Rankings are dope, keep it rolling!”

  2. BRITNEY SPEARS: “Oh my goodness, I saw the list! I’m a huge fan of The Rock—he’s so charismatic! ⚡️ But I feel bad for the people who didn’t make it yet. It’s like the charts; you have to work hard to get to #1!”

  3. EMINEM: “Kimbo Slice? The guy from the internet? Look, if the WWF wants a real villain, they should rank Slim Shady. I’ve got a better reach with my words than Butterbean has with his fists. The list is a joke until I’m on it.”

  4. SHAQUILLE O’NEAL: “I just won the Finals MVP and the Championship. 🏆 I know what #1 looks like. Kimbo is doing his thing, but if they want a real Super Heavyweight, they need to look at ‘The Big Aristotle.’ I’ll dunk on that whole Top 10.”

  5. TOM CRUISE: “I’ve seen the training these guys do—it’s intense. 🕶️ I respect the PFP model. It’s like a Mission Impossible: you either perform or you’re out. I’m watching RVD closely; that guy has movie-star agility.”

  6. JENNIFER LOPEZ: “The fashion in the WWF right now? Iconic. 👗 But the rankings… I think Prince Naseem is too low! He has the style and the record. He should be #1!”

  7. ADAM SANDLER: “I saw the list and I called my buddy Rob Schneider. We’re thinking about starting our own ranking for ‘Best Waterboys.’ But seriously, Butterbean? That guy looks like he gives great hugs… right before he kills you.”

  8. LEONARDO DICAPRIO: “It’s fascinating to see the cultural shift toward this ‘Unfiltered’ combat. 🏖️ I’m a fan of the underdog stories, so seeing Agatom get a win in Japan was the highlight for me.”

  9. WILL SMITH: “July 2000 is looking hot! 🔥 Kimbo is the Fresh Prince of the Streets! I love the energy, but I’m waiting for Bill Goldberg to show up and flip the whole script.”

  10. TIGER WOODS: “Performance under pressure—that’s all that matters. ⛳ The PFP score of 8 for Kimbo is a strong start, but like a Sunday at the Masters, it’s about how you finish the season, not how you start it.”

[[ THE THREAD: THE “UNRANKED” UPRISING ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

GOLDBERG VS KIMBO!! 👊 Imagine the PFP score if Goldberg wins his debut. The “Mafia” wouldn’t know what to do. And Chuck Norris? The guy is 48 and still looks like he could take out the whole Light Heavyweight division.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Did you hear Eminem?! 🎤 Slim Shady in the WWF would be the most chaotic thing ever. He’d probably manage X-Pac just to mess with Triple H.

User: HadoukenKid

Jackie Chan using the ring environment would be legendary. 🪜 He wouldn’t even need a finisher, he’d just trip you with a cameraman’s cable. WWF 2000 is getting way too big for just one list!

User: BeefSlammer69

SHAQ IN THE SUPER HEAVYWEIGHTS!! 🏀💥 Imagine Shaq vs Andre the Giant. The ring would literally collapse. I don’t care about the scores, I want the carnage! 👊😤

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that Goldberg was spotted at a private airport heading toward Dallas. If he shows up at the “Titan Clash” on July 23rd, these rankings are going to be obsolete by midnight! ]]

THE “ANYTIME, ANYWHERE” ANARCHY: GLOBAL ICONS REACT TO MONEY IN THE BANK

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! The rumors of the Money in the Bank (MITB) ladder match have officially broken the internet. I’ve been tracking the “internal memos” and catching quotes from the biggest names in sports and street fighting. This isn’t just a match; it’s a “legalized mugging” for the Undisputed World Title.

Here is how the world’s most dangerous men and most competitive icons are reacting to the chaos.

[[ THE BIG THREE: THE WWF POWERHOUSE REACTS ]]

  • THE ROCK: > “The Rock hears the jabronis talking about a briefcase. You want to climb a ladder? You want to jump off a 20-foot structure just to get a piece of paper? The Rock doesn’t need a contract to be the People’s Champion. But if you think you’re going to ‘cash in’ while The Rock is celebrating a victory… if you think you’re going to catch the Great One off guard… you better bring more than a ladder. You better bring a miracle, because the Rock will take that briefcase, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!”

  • STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN: > “I don’t give a damn about a briefcase, and I sure as hell don’t care about a ladder. Vince thinks he can create a ‘shortcut’ to my title? If some son-of-a-bitch thinks he’s gonna jump me after a match, he’s gonna find out that a Stunner works just as well at 2:00 AM as it does at 8:00 PM. You want the belt? Be a man and step in the ring. You want to use a briefcase? I’ll use your head for target practice. And that’s the bottom line!”

  • TRIPLE H: > “It’s typical. Vince wants to give the ‘nobodies’ a chance to steal what belongs to the ‘Cerebral Assassin.’ This MITB concept is a slap in the face to the hierarchy. I’ve spent fifteen years becoming the best in this business, and now some high-flyer can jump off a ladder and skip the line? Fine. Let them climb. While they’re looking at the ceiling, I’ll be waiting at the bottom to break the ladder—and their legs. The Game doesn’t play with toys.”

[[ STREET FIGHTER: THE WORLD WARRIORS WEIGH IN ]]

  • RYU: > “A battle for a contract? It lacks the purity of the Fist. To win by climbing instead of striking… it feels hollow. However, I respect the courage it takes to climb so high while being attacked. I will watch, but my path remains the same: the true fight is within.”

  • GUILE: > “It’s a tactical nightmare. You’re exposed on that ladder from 360 degrees. It’s like being in a cockpit with no canopy. If the WWF wants a real ‘Air Force’ specialist to take that case, they should call a professional. But ‘cashing in’ when a man is down? That’s not a soldier’s way.”

  • M. BISON: > (Laughing) > “A briefcase that grants ultimate power? Finally, a match that understands the beauty of corruption! I don’t care about the ladder—I will simply Psycho Crush anyone who touches it. The World Title belongs to Shadaloo, regardless of what the contract says!”

[[ THE HEAVY HITTERS: BOXING & MMA ]]

  • MIKE TYSON: > “It’s crazy, man. It’s like a street fight in the sky. If you’re on that ladder, you can’t protect your chin. One punch and it’s a long way down. I like the ‘anytime’ rule, though. It’s like the streets—you always gotta be ready to bang.”

  • OSCAR DE LA HOYA: > “It’s too much of a circus for me. Wrestling is one thing, but climbing ladders for a contract? It takes away from the ‘Sweet Science.’ But hey, the ratings will be huge. People love a car wreck.”

  • LENNOX LEWIS: > “It’s a strategic game of chess, but the board is vertical. You have to wait for the right moment to climb. If you go too early, you’re a target. If you go too late, the prize is gone.”

  • MARK HUNT: > “Just give me the ladder so I can hit someone with it. 👊 If I win that case, I’m cashing it in the second Kimbo Slice finishes a fight. Walk-off KO, take the belt, go home. Easy.”

[[ THE HARDCOURT LEGENDS: NBA ICONS ]]

  • MICHAEL JORDAN: > “I heard the ‘anytime’ rule. That’s the ultimate test of a champion. Can you defend your title when you’re tired? When you’re hurt? That’s what separates the Greats from the rest. I took it personally that they didn’t ask me to be the one hanging the briefcase. I’d like to see anyone try to out-jump me for it.”

  • SHAQ: > “Man, the ladder would break as soon as I put one foot on it! 🏀💥 But I love the concept. It’s like a fast break—you see the opening, you take the shot. If I had that briefcase, I’d cash it in on Big Show during his dinner. Give me the BBQ and the belt!”

  • KOBE BRYANT: > “It’s about the Mamba Mentality. You have to be the most obsessed person in that ring. While everyone is fighting on the mat, you have to find the path to the top. The MITB isn’t a ‘shortcut’—it’s an opportunity for the person who wants it the most. I respect the hustle.”

[[ THE THREAD: MITB MANIA ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

TYSON IS RIGHT! 🥊 Imagine being 20 feet up and seeing Mike Tyson waiting at the bottom. I’d just stay up there! And Triple H sounds terrified that someone is finally going to out-smart him.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    RVD in a ladder match? It’s over. He’s the #3 Light Heavyweight and he lives on the top rope. If he’s in the MITB, he’s walking away with the case. No question.

User: HadoukenKid

M. Bison wanting the briefcase for Shadaloo? 💀 The WWF is getting too dangerous. We’ve got dictators, boxers, and Olympic wrestlers all fighting for one belt. July 23rd cannot get here fast enough!

User: BeefSlammer69

SHAQ VS THE LADDER!! 👊😤 I’m telling you, they need a custom-built steel ladder if the Super Heavyweights are in this. Imagine Yokozuna trying to climb that. The ring would implode!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that Bret Hart has been training privately in a “Ladder-filled” gym in Calgary. Is “The Hitman” looking to secure a guaranteed shot at the man who beat him, Yokozuna? ]]

RANKING REACTION LEAK: FROM THE OVAL OFFICE TO THE LOCKER ROOM

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! The July 1st rankings dropped like a pipe bomb, and the fallout is reaching way beyond the squared circle. I’ve been monitors the feeds, “wiretapping” the back offices, and catching quotes from the biggest names in the world.

Some are calling the PFP scoring a revolution; others are calling it a “mafia hit” on their legacies. Here is how the icons reacted to the first official WWF-Universe standings.

[[ THE POWER PLAYERS: THE FRONT OFFICE & THE LOCKER ROOM ]]

  • TRIPLE H: > “A PFP score of 8 for a backyard brawler? You’ve got to be kidding me. Kimbo Slice hasn’t even stepped in the ring with a ‘Cerebral Assassin’ yet. These rankings aren’t a measure of skill; they’re a measure of hype. While The Rock is busy celebrating his #4 spot like he won a Grammy, I’m in the gym preparing to dismantle the system. You want to see a real PFP leader? Watch what I do to X-Pac. Then we’ll see who’s ‘electrifying’ and who’s just… irrelevant.”

  • VINCE MCMAHON: > “Look at those numbers! Kimbo Slice at #1… Prince Naseem at #2… it’s exactly what I envisioned! A global melting pot of carnage! People are questioning the ‘early season’ scoring? Ha! In the WWF, every second is a season. If you aren’t on the board now, you’re already a dinosaur. This is sports entertainment’s evolution, and if the ‘old guard’ doesn’t like it, they can find a new museum to rot in!”

  • KURT ANGLE: > “I’m an Olympic Gold Medalist! I won with a broken freakin’ neck! How am I ranked #7 in Light Heavyweight behind a guy named ‘RVD’ who does flips for a living? And Kimbo Slice is #1 PFP? Has he ever wrestled in the amateurs? Has he ever represented his country? This list is a travesty of the Three I’s: Intensity, Integrity, and Intelligence. I’m going to personally suplex every person on this list until I’m #1. It’s true… it’s damn true!”

[[ THE LEGENDS: BOXING, BASKETBALL, & THE “GOLDEN ERA” ]]

  • MIKE TYSON: > “I see the list. Kimbo’s a tough kid, he’s got that hunger. But PFP #1? You can’t crown a king before he’s bled in a championship round. And Butterbean at #6? He’s a wrecking ball, but he’s fighting ghosts. I want to see these guys under my lights. Until then, these rankings are just paper. When ‘Iron Mike’ steps in, the only ranking that matters is who’s still awake when the bell rings.”

  • MICHAEL JORDAN: > “I saw the report. #4 for The Rock? 3-0? That’s cute. In Chicago, 3-0 is just the first quarter. I don’t care about ‘PFP Scores.’ I care about who’s holding the trophy at the end. I took it personally that they didn’t even mention ‘The Goat’ in the crossover discussions. If the WWF wants a real #1, they know where to find me. Until then, stay out of my way.”

  • HULK HOGAN: > “Well let me tell you something, Brother! I’m #4 in the Super Heavyweights and #8 in the Heavyweights? The Hulkster is a global icon! I’ve slammed giants and ruled the world while Kimbo was still in diapers! The PFP score is a joke, dude. The power of Hulkamania doesn’t fit on a spreadsheet. But hey, if the fans want to see the ‘Real #1’ take that Super Heavyweight spot from Butterbean… then Watcha Gonna Do?!”

  • BRUNO SAMMARTINO: > “In my day, you didn’t need a ‘score’ to know who the champion was. You defended the title for years, not weeks. This WWF is a circus. Seeing these ‘street fighters’ ranked above men who spent decades in the trenches is an insult to the history of this business. Vince can keep his rankings; I’ll keep my dignity.”

[[ THE PHILIPPINE CONNECTION & THE OVAL OFFICE ]]

  • BILL CLINTON: > “I’ve looked at the data, and it’s certainly an ambitious statistical model. Seeing a 116-pounder like Agatom represent the Philippines with such heart… that’s the kind of international cooperation we like to see. As for the PFP scores being ‘early,’ well, sometimes the first hundred days tell you everything you need to know about a term.”

  • JOSEPH ESTRADA (Erap): > “Agatom is a true Filipino hero! Small but terrible! 🇵🇭 He recovered in Japan like a true ‘Action Star.’ As for the rankings… as long as our boy is winning, the math is correct! We don’t care about the Super Heavyweights—we have the heart of a lion!”

  • KRIS AQUINO: > “Oh my gosh, Agatom! It’s so nakaka-proud! ❤️ Did you see how he beat ‘Changed Man’? It was like a movie! But Kimbo Slice at #1? Is he even cute? I think the scoring is a bit ‘over-acting,’ but as long as we have a Filipino in the top ranks, I’m here for the drama! Love, love, love!”

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: The “PFP Scoring” is based on Strength of Schedule and Finish Rate. Kimbo is #1 because he finishes fights in seconds. If the wrestlers want to move up, they need to stop going to 20-minute draws and start knocking people out! ]]

JULY 1st STATE OF THE UNION: RANKINGS, RVD’S ASCENSION, & THE FILIPINO PHENOM

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! We are officially six months into the chaos that is the WWF-Universe. The dust from the “Chicago Carnage” and the international tours has finally settled enough for the “Mafia” to release the official mid-year power rankings.

From the streets of Miami to the rings of Japan, the hierarchy of combat has never been more volatile. Here is your July 1st briefing.

[[ THE LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT SEMI-FINALS: RVD ADVANCES ]]

Rob Van Dam def. Shawn Michaels (via Pinfall – June 19)

  • The Match: In what many are calling the “Technical Masterpiece of the Summer,” RVD managed to survive a Sweet Chin Music attempt and counter with a split-legged moonsault.

  • The Result: RVD officially punches his ticket to the next round. HBK looked stunned, but the respect was visible. RVD is now the #3 ranked Light Heavyweight in the world and climbing fast.

[[ THE GLOBAL INVASION: AGATOM’S REDEMPTION ]]

Agatom def. “Changed Man” (via Pinfall – June 26 in Japan)

  • The Context: After a heartbreaking debut loss to the mysterious Golimar, the smallest fighter in the WWF (116 lbs) headed back to the East to find his rhythm.

  • The Fight: Agatom faced the Japanese masked daredevil and stuntman, “Changed Man.” The speed in this match was terrifying.

  • The Finish: The Filipino High Flyer proved that heart outweighs mass. He recovered from a high-risk dive to secure a pinfall in front of a stunned Tokyo crowd. Agatom is officially on the board!

[[ OFFICIAL MID-YEAR RANKINGS: JULY 1, 2000 ]]

POUND FOR POUND (PFP)

The top of the mountain belongs to the backyard legend, but the “Prince” and the “Greatest” are breathing down his neck.

Rank Name Record Score
#1 Kimbo Slice 3-0-0 8
#2 Prince Naseem Hamed 1-0-0 4
#3 Rickson Gracie 1-0-0 4
#4 The Rock 3-0-0 4
#5 Ted DiBiase 2-0-0 3

DIVISIONAL LEADERS

  • SUPER HEAVYWEIGHT: Butterbean (#1) holds the top spot after his June conquest, with Andre the Giant (#2) and Bob Sapp (#3) ready for the “Titan Clash.”

  • HEAVYWEIGHT: Kimbo Slice (#1) leads the pack. The Rock (#2) has moved up following his win over Neidhart, while Fedor (#9) and Couture (#10) have officially entered the top ten.

  • LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT: Kimbo (#1) somehow dominates here too, but Shane McMahon (#2) and RVD (#3) are the real story. John Cena (The Prototype) sits at #8, looking for his breakout.

  • CRUISERWEIGHT: Prince Naseem (#1) and Rickson (#2) rule the technical ranks. Golimar holds #8, while the legend Gen rounds out the top 10 at #10.

[[ THE ANALYST’S DESK: JULY OUTLOOK ]]

Joe Rogan: “Kimbo Slice at #1 PFP with an 8 score is absolute insanity. 🥊 He’s dominant, but look at Rickson Gracie at #3. If Rickson gets Kimbo on the ground, that score won’t mean anything. Also, shoutout to Agatom—116 pounds of pure lightning. That kid is ‘tight’!”

Jim Lampley: “BANG! The Rock is surging! ⚡️ After the Vader and Neidhart wins, he’s the most active fighter on the list. But can we talk about Ted DiBiase at #5? He’s buying his way into the elite tier, and Savage is the only thing standing in his way!”

[[ THE THREAD: RANKING RAGE ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

KIMBO #1!! 👊 3-0 and a score of 8? That’s dominance. I’m glad to see RVD at #3 in Light Heavyweight. Beating HBK was no fluke. He’s going all the way to the gold.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Agatom winning in Japan is the real feel-good story. 🇵🇭 The smallest guy in the room just silenced the “Changed Man.” I want to see him vs Rey Mysterio (#9 CW). That’s a high-flyer’s dream!

User: HadoukenKid

Ryu (#6 CW) and Ken (#5 CW) are ranked too low. They’ve only had one match each! Wait until the “Titan Clash” is over and the Street Fighters start moving up the PFP ranks. 🐯🕶️

User: BeefSlammer69

BUTTERBEAN #1 SUPER HEAVY!! 🥩 3-0 is 3-0. I don’t care if he fought legends or grandpas, nobody has been able to stop him. SummerSlam is gonna be wild! 👊😤

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m noticing a name missing from the Top 10 PFP… Triple H. After his recent interview, I expect he’s going to go on a rampage to force his way into these rankings. Watch your backs! ]]

DALLAS DESTINY: THE TITAN CLASH CARD & THE “MONEY IN THE BANK” ANARCHY

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! The heat in Texas isn’t just the weather—it’s the friction from the WWF “Mafia” finalizing the most dangerous card in the history of the sport. We’ve got monsters, we’ve got legends, and we’ve got a rumored new match concept that is going to turn the Undisputed World Title race into a literal free-for-all.

[[ THE FINALIZED “TITAN CLASH” BRACKET ]]

Dallas Arena – July 23, 2000

Quarter-Final A Quarter-Final B
The Big Show vs. SAGAT Rikishi vs. YOKOZUNA
Vader vs. KANE BUTTERBEAN vs. BIRDIE

The Stakes: The winner of this 8-man gauntlet doesn’t just get a trophy; they get the “Monster’s Contract”—a guaranteed title shot at SummerSlam and a custom gold-plated heavyweight belt.

[[ RUMOR: THE “MONEY IN THE BANK” LADDER MATCH ]]

Vince and the board are reportedly tired of “ordered” rankings. They want chaos. Enter the Money in the Bank.

  • The Mechanics: 6 to 8 men. One briefcase suspended 20 feet above the ring. No pinfalls, no submissions. The first man to climb the ladder and pull down the case wins a contract for a World Title Match anytime, anywhere.

  • The Landscape: This changes everything. If The Rock or Kimbo Slice is exhausted after a 30-minute war, the MITB winner can “cash in” while they’re bleeding on the mat. The Undisputed Belt is no longer safe behind a schedule.

[[ THE RETURN: BRET “THE HITMAN” HART ]]

The “Excellence of Execution” is finally coming out of hiding. After his devastating loss to Yokozuna back on March 26th—his only WWF sanctioned fight this year—Bret has been MIA.

  • The Mission: Bret hasn’t touched the new era. No match against Goldberg, no clash with The Rock, and zero contact with Stone Cold.

  • The July Rumor: Bret is slated for a “Technical Showcase” mid-card match against Kurt Angle. Angle has been calling out the Hart family for weeks, and Bret reportedly wants to prove that “Olympic Gold” doesn’t mean anything in a “Pink and Black” world.

[[ JULY MID-CARD & MINOR FIGHTS ]]

  1. Triple H vs. X-Pac: (The “Best Friend” Grudge Match). Hunter is looking to vent his ranking frustrations on his Kliq brother.

  2. Agatom vs. Shao Ling: (Cruiserweight Clash). Fresh off his Japan win, the Filipino High Flyer faces the “Ninja” specialist in a battle for the #7 spot.

  3. The Hurricane vs. Golimar: (The Masked Mystery). Can the superhero handle the bizarre style of the man who beat Agatom?

  4. Scott Hall vs. Ted DiBiase: (The “Money” Match). DiBiase wants Hall’s spot in the Heavyweight Top 5. Hall just wants a paycheck and a fight.

[[ THE ANALYST’S CORNER ]]

Joe Rogan: “A ladder match for a title shot? That’s high-level madness! 🪜 If you put someone like RVD or Shane McMahon in that MITB match, they’re going to do something that’ll make us all lose our minds. And Bret Hart vs. Kurt Angle? That’s 100% pure ‘shoot’ wrestling. I’m vibrating just thinking about it!”

Jim Lampley: “BANG! The Titan Clash is a heavyweight collision, but the Money in the Bank is a heart attack waiting to happen! And watch out for Bret Hart—he’s a wounded animal. A loss to Yoko in March hasn’t softened him; it’s made him more surgical.”

[[ THE THREAD: DALLAS OR DEATH ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

MONEY IN THE BANK!! 💼 That briefcase is going to cause a riot. Imagine Triple H winning it and cashing in on a bloody Stone Cold. The WWF would burn down!

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Sagat vs Big Show is still the match I’m watching. 🐯 If Sagat wins the whole Titan Clash, he’s going to be #1 PFP by August. No doubt.

User: HadoukenKid

Agatom vs Shao Ling is going to be like a live-action anime. 🥋 I hope Agatom brings some of that Japan momentum. And Bret Hart… man, he needs to beat Angle or his legacy in the WWF is toast.

User: BeefSlammer69

BIRDIE VS BUTTERBEAN!! 👊😤 Chains vs Hooks! If Birdie uses that chain on Bean, the WWF better have the paramedics ready. July is the heaviest month of the year!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that the MITB briefcase is currently being held in a high-security vault in Stamford. They aren’t even telling the wrestlers who is in the match yet! ]]

THE “GAME” SPEAKS: EXCLUSIVE HHH INTERVIEW

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! I managed to get 15 minutes in a private gym with the “Cerebral Assassin” himself. While The Rock is busy dealing with Anvils and Austin is throwing back Steveweisers, Hunter Hearst Helmsley is sitting in the shadows, fuming.

The “Mafia” might be focused on the Street Fighters, but HHH is playing a different game entirely. Here is the full transcript of the most cold-blooded interview I’ve ever conducted.

[[ THE INTERVIEW: HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY ]]

Admin_Neil: “Hunter, everyone is talking about The Rock’s win over Vader and Austin’s big return. Your name isn’t at the top of the ‘Rising Star’ headlines lately. Does that get under your skin?”

HHH: > (Laughs coldly while wrapping his wrists) “Rising stars? You’re talking about a guy who tells jokes to clowns and a guy who drinks beer for a living. The Rock is ‘Electrifying’? Austin is ‘Tough’? Give me a break. While they’re playing to the ‘Millions,’ I’m becoming the standard. I am the ‘Cerebral Assassin.’ I don’t need a catchphrase to be the best in this ring. If they aren’t talking about me, it’s because they’re afraid to admit that I’m the one who’s going to own this industry when the smoke clears.”

Admin_Neil: “There are rumors, Hunter… about you and Stephanie McMahon. People say Vince is holding you back or burying you in mid-card matches like the 1-on-1 with your friend X-Pac just to keep you away from the ‘Promoted’ spots because of your personal life. What’s the truth?”

HHH: > “Personal life? You think Vince McMahon can hold me back? You think fighting X-Pac—a man I’ve traveled the world with—was a ‘punishment’? It was a message. Vince knows that if he turns me loose, there’s nobody left. As for the rumors… people love to talk when they can’t compete. Whether I’m dating the boss’s daughter or I’m the boss’s worst nightmare, the result is the same: I win. I’m forced to fight my friends because I’m the only one who can handle them. It’s not a demotion; it’s a cull.”

Admin_Neil: “What about the ‘World Warriors’? Sagat, Birdie, Butterbean… the boxing and sumo guys coming in. Do they belong in your ring?”

HHH: > “It’s a circus, Neil. Sagat has a big scar and a fancy knee, but can he handle 30 minutes of psychological warfare? Can a boxer like Butterbean handle a technical clinic? These guys are tourists. They’re here for a paycheck and a headline. I’m here for the legacy. They can bring all the ‘Tiger Shots’ they want—in this ring, I am the King of Kings, and they’re just peasants visiting the castle.”

[[ HHH’S ALL-TIME TOP 5 WRESTLERS ]]

  1. Ric Flair (“The blueprint. Period.”)

  2. Harley Race (“The toughest man to ever lace up boots.”)

  3. Shawn Michaels (“The showstopper, my brother, but I’ve surpassed him.”)

  4. Buddy Rogers (“The original ‘Nature Boy’ who understood the psychology.”)

  5. Triple H (“Because nobody—and I mean nobody—plays the game better than me.”)

[[ THE SUMMER SLAM PREDICTION ]]

HHH on Hogan vs. Andre (IC Title):

“Two dinosaurs fighting over a belt that belongs to me. Hogan will do his leg drop, Andre will look big, and the fans will cheer for the 80s. But mark my words: Whoever leaves Raleigh with that Intercontinental gold is just holding it warm for me. My prediction? Chaos. And in chaos, The Game always wins.”

[[ THE THREAD: THE “GAME” COMMENCE ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

HHH IS SAVAGE!! 🤯 Calling Rock a “joke teller” is a bold move. And he basically confirmed the Stephanie rumors without saying it! If he and Steph are a power couple, the “WWF Mafia” is about to get a new Queen.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    He’s right about the “Tourists” though. 🐯 Sagat vs HHH would be a 5-star clinic. Hunter doesn’t get enough credit for his technical game. He’s gonna destroy X-Pac next week.

User: HadoukenKid

The Game vs The Emperor? 🎮🐯 That’s the match I want to see. Sagat’s Muay Thai vs Hunter’s Sledgehammer. HHH sounds like he’s ready to take over the whole company.

User: BeefSlammer69

TOP 5 INCLUDING HIMSELF?! 👊😤 That’s the most HHH thing ever. I bet he ends up interfering in the Hogan/Andre match just to prove a point. Long live The King! 👑

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that X-Pac is legitimately hurt by Hunter’s comments. Their 1-on-1 match is going to be personal. Expect no mercy! ]]

LEAKED: THE BUTTERBEAN “DUCKING” SCANDAL & THE BACKSTAGE BRAWL

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! I just got off the phone with a source who was in the locker room during the June 25th taping. If you think the drama is only in the ring, you’re dead wrong. The “Butterbean Blitz” has officially fractured the WWF locker room. While Bean is out here taking on legends like Benny the Jet and Gen, the active roster is playing a game of “hide and seek.”

Here is the leaked dirt on why June was so chaotic and what the heavy hitters are saying about Bean’s future.

[[ THE LEAKED RUMOR: THE “LOCKER ROOM LOCKOUT” ]]

Word is that in early June, a group of prominent WWF grapplers (rumored to be led by Hardcore Holly and Steve Blackman) held an informal meeting.

  • The Beef: They’re furious that the “Mafia” is bringing in “outsiders” and paying them top dollar to fight retired legends while the active roster sits in the back.

  • The Confrontation: After the June 1st match was cancelled, Bean allegedly walked into the main locker room and threw a stack of blank contracts on the table. He told them: “You guys call yourselves ‘Lethal Weapons’ and ‘Hardcore,’ but you’re all terrified of a 400-pounder with a hook. If you won’t sign, stay in the back and keep the seats warm for the real fighters.”

  • The Result: Total silence. Nobody picked up a pen. That’s why the “Mafia” had to call in the legends (Benny Joe and Gen) just to keep the June schedule alive.

[[ THE ANALYST ROUNDTABLE: “IS BEAN THE REAL DEAL?” ]]

Analyst The “Shoot” Reaction
Joe Rogan “Look, people are hating because he’s fighting older guys, but Bean is showing real IQ. Lifting Benny the Jet? That’s wrestling! He’s proving he’s not just a ‘Brawl for All’ fluke. It’s tight!”
Jim Lampley “BANG! It’s a collision of worlds! Bean is a wrecking ball, but the weekly grind is a death trap. If he signs that July contract, he’s a braver man than anyone in that locker room.”
Quinito Henson “Bean has the ‘Power of the Punch,’ but he’s smart to use his weight. He’s taking the ‘Sporting Chance’ by adapting his style. He’s a heavyweight chameleon!”
Oscar De La Hoya “It’s a circus. He’s wrestling grandpas for a paycheck. If he wants respect, he needs to get back in a boxing ring with a prime contender. This is making the sport look like a joke.”
Bob Arum “The WWF is running him into the ground. A match every week? It’s a death wish. Bean hasn’t signed that extension yet because he knows his value. He’s holding all the cards.”

[[ THE CONTRACT CRISIS: JULY PROJECTIONS ]]

Will he sign the “1 Match Per Week” Contract?

My sources say Bean is hesitant. He’s proven he can beat the legends, but he knows the toll is mounting. He’s reportedly demanding a “Quality Clause”—meaning he only signs if the “Mafia” can guarantee him a younger, top-tier opponent who won’t “duck” him.

Future Possible Opponents:

  1. Sagat: The match the underground is screaming for. Muay Thai vs. Boxing.

  2. The Big Show: The ultimate test of Bean’s new wrestling strength.

  3. Birdie: If the British brawler gets through customs, his “Chain” style vs. Bean’s power is a guaranteed hospital trip for someone.

[[ THE THREAD: THE BEAN DEBATE ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

BEAN CALLING OUT THE ROSTER!! 👊 I love it. Holly and Blackman acting like they’re tough until a real KO artist walks in. Bean is the baddest man in the building right now.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Benny Joe actually hurt him, though! 🦵 If a 47-year-old can rattle Bean’s cage, imagine what a prime Sagat would do. Bean is smart to hold out on that contract. He needs a break before Dallas.

User: HadoukenKid

De La Hoya is just mad Bean is more popular than half the boxing roster. 🕶️ But Arum is right—the weekly grind is dangerous. Bean should wait for SummerSlam and pick one big “Superfight.”

User: BeefSlammer69

BEAN VS BIG SHOW!! 💥 I want to see Bean try to lift 500 lbs of giant. If he pulls that off, give him the World Title immediately! 👊😤

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that Birdie is officially cleared for Dallas. If Bean signs that July contract, the “Weekly War” is going to get a whole lot bloodier. ]]

THE “BUTTERBEAN” BLITZ: JUNE CONQUEST AND THE CONTRACT CRISIS

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! The month of June was supposed to be the “Summer of the Bean,” but it turned into a month of controversy, “ducking,” and some of the most bizarre matchups in WWF history. Eric “Butterbean” Esch was ready to fight every week, but the WWF locker room—especially the grapplers—seemed to have a sudden case of “stage fright.”

Here is the breakdown of Butterbean’s chaotic June campaign and why the “King of the 4-Rounders” might be reconsidering his signature on that weekly contract.

[[ JUNE 1-7: THE SILENT TREATMENT ]]

Following his dominant win over the giant Hong Man Choi, the WWF sanctioned a “Match a Week” challenge for Bean.

  • The Reality: Week 1 was a total wash. Despite the odds being split 50/50 among the fans, the WWF roster stayed quiet. Rumor has it the technical grapplers—afraid of that legendary overhand right—refused to sign the bout agreements. The first match was cancelled due to “No Willing Opponents.”

[[ JUNE 18: THE LEGENDARY STRUGGLE ]]

Opponent: Benny “The Jet” Urquidez (Age 47)

  • The Vibe: An aging Benny Joe stepped up when nobody else would. Under Pro Wrestling rules, it looked like a mismatch, but the kickboxing legend actually had Bean in trouble early with his speed and leg kicks.

  • The Turning Point: Bean realized he couldn’t win a stand-up battle with a legend. He switched gears, using his 400lb frame to lift and throw Benny like a sack of potatoes.

  • The Finish: A stunned Benny Joe was caught by a massive hook before Bean secured the pin. A “walk in the park” turned into a legitimate dogfight.

[[ JUNE 25: THE KUNG FU CRISIS ]]

Opponent: Gen (Age 60s)

  • The Context: Gen, fresh off an upset KO win over Benny Joe in April, challenged Bean under Pro Wrestling rules.

  • The Match: The martial arts master showed flashes of his old “jumping kung fu” style, but age had slowed him down.

  • The Finish: Bean played it smart, absorbing the lighter strikes and waiting for an opening. One devastating power-punch followed by a heavy-weight pin ended the night.

[[ THE EXPERTS WEIGH IN ]]

Analyst Quote / Reaction
Joe Rogan “People are making fun of Bean for fighting 60-year-olds, but did you see the throws he used on Benny Joe? That’s high-level adaptation. He’s evolving into a pro wrestler in real-time. It’s absolutely ‘tight’!”
Jim Lampley “BANG! Butterbean is taking on the ghosts of martial arts past! He’s the ultimate wrecking ball, but you have to wonder—how long can a 400lb man sustain a match every single week?”
Quinito Henson “Bean is proving that ‘Heft is Might’ in the WWF. He’s taking the ‘Sporting Chance’ by fighting legends, but the real test will be a younger, faster grappler who isn’t afraid of the power.”
Oscar De La Hoya “It’s a circus. Butterbean is a boxer, and he’s out here wrestling grandpas? It’s a side-show. He needs to get back in a ring with someone his own age or hang it up.”
Bob Arum “The WWF is milking the cow until it’s dry. A match every week? It’s a death wish. Bean is smart—he hasn’t signed that extension yet, and if he’s wise, he’ll demand ‘Quality over Quantity’.”

[[ THE FUTURE: THE CONTRACT & POTENTIAL FOES ]]

Will he sign the “1 Match Per Week” Contract?

Word backstage is that Bean is hesitant. While he’s winning, the toll on his body is showing, and fighting smaller, older legends isn’t helping his “BMF” reputation with the hardcore fans. He wants “Real Meat” on the menu.

Potential July Opponents:

  1. Sagat: The dream match. Muay Thai vs. Boxing power.

  2. Mark Hunt: The “Super Samoan” is reportedly in talks for a K-1/WWF hybrid match.

  3. The Big Show: The ultimate size test. Can Bean lift a 500lb giant like he did Benny Joe?

[[ THE THREAD: THE BEAN DEBATE ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

BENNY JOE HURT BEAN?! 🦵 That just shows that kickboxing is the ultimate counter. I love Bean, but he’s lucky Benny is 47 and not 27. If he fights a prime striker, he’s going to sleep.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    Gen winning in his 60s against Benny was the real shocker of April. 🥋 Seeing Bean pin him was predictable, but the match was actually competitive for a few minutes! I want to see Bean vs. Birdie in Dallas. Let the big men swing chains!

User: HadoukenKid

De La Hoya is just salty because Bean is making more money in the WWF than most boxers make in a year. 🕶️ But Arum is right—one match a week is too much. One injury and the “Bean Conquest” is over.

User: BeefSlammer69

GIVE ME BEAN VS SAGAT!! 👊😤 I don’t want to see any more Kung Fu masters. I want to see a Tiger Knee vs a 400lb Hook. That’s the only match that matters!

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m hearing that Bean’s camp is demanding a “Safety Clause” before signing the July contract. If the WWF can’t find young fighters willing to step up, we might see the end of the weekly Bean-streak. Stay tuned! ]]

Butterbean
Butterbean

CHICAGO CARNAGE POST-MATCH REPORT: THE ROAD TO RALEIGH BEGINS

Posted on by Chinito Henson

Yo! The smoke hasn’t even cleared from the Allstate Arena. Chicago just witnessed a night that changed the hierarchy of the WWF forever. While the “Vocal Minority” is still arguing over the safety of the Cell, the “Mafia” is already looking at the August 27th date in Raleigh.

Forget the rumors you heard—here is the official fallout and the road ahead.

[[ THE LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT SITUATION: THE FINAL FOUR ]]

The Millennium Light Heavyweight Tournament is down to the wire. Despite some fans thinking we’d have a champion by now, the field is still wide open. We have four titans left, and the brackets for the semi-finals are set for next week:

  1. Kurt Angle vs. The Prototype (John Cena): After his controversial “tap” against Shane in the UFC match, Angle is in a blind rage. He has to cut weight to 220 to face the “Perfect Machine.” Prototype is looking to prove that UPW power beats Olympic technique.

  2. Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Van Dam: The match the underground has been begging for. HBK proved he can handle “Martial Artists” like Seagal; now he has to handle the “Anti-Gravity” style of RVD.

The Finals will be held at SummerSlam on August 27th to crown the Undisputed Light Heavyweight Champion.

[[ THE SUMMERSLAM 2000 FIGHT CARD (PRELIMINARY) ]]

1. THE OPENER: UFC WORLD TITLE FIGHT

Royce Gracie (C) vs. Ken Shamrock (Trilogy)

  • The Beef: Shamrock is demanding a restart after the Chicago “Boring” finish. This will be the definitive rubber match under pure UFC rules.

2. TAG TEAM EXHIBITION: THE FIRST OF ITS KIND

The Rock & Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Sagat & Ken Masters

  • The Vibe: A “Truce” has been signed. The WWF’s two biggest icons are teaming up to stop the “World Warrior” invasion. This will be the first tag match in WWF history to feature Street Fighters.

3. BMF CHAMPIONSHIP: THE KNOCKOUT SPECIAL

Kimbo Slice vs. Butterbean

  • The Vibe: Kimbo is 3-0 after destroying Zulu Jr., but the “Mafia” just signed the baddest man in boxing. This is for the BMF Belt. No wrestling allowed.

4. CO-MAIN: USA TITLE #1 CONTENDER FINALS

Ted DiBiase vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage

  • The Twist: The Undertaker has officially abandoned this tournament! Taker told the board he doesn’t want the gold; he wants Mick Foley’s career. This leaves the “Million Dollar Man” (who just bought his way past Bischoff) to face the “Macho Man” for the right to challenge Hulk Hogan for the USA Belt.

5. MAIN EVENT: THE INTERCONTINENTAL FINALS

Andre The Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

  • The Stakes: The tournament that started in January concludes. The Intercontinental Belt is on the line in a clash of the two most legendary names in the sport.

[[ THE THREAD: CHICAGO AFTERMATH ]]

User: Xx_NWO_For_Life_xX

Taker leaving the tournament?! ⚱️ That’s cold. He’d rather hunt Foley than be the USA Champion. And Prototype vs Angle is going to be a shoot-fight, I’m calling it now. Angle is gonna try to break that kid’s ankle for real.

  • Reply: Raw_Is_War_2000

    HBK vs RVD is the real main event for me. 🌟 If Shawn is 90s-peak, he wins. If he’s “Retired Shawn,” RVD 4:20 is gonna splash him into the front row. And no way Prototype makes 220 lbs. He’s a tank!

User: HadoukenKid

Sagat and Ken Masters as a tag team? 🐯🕶️ I bet Ken is just using Sagat to protect his business interests in the WWF. If Austin hits a Stunner on Ken, the “Street Fighter” era might end before it starts.

User: BeefSlammer69

ANDRE VS HOGAN!! 🏆 It’s like 1987 all over again but in the year 2000. I don’t care about the UFC rules, I want to see the Leg Drop on the Giant one more time! 👊😤

[[ ADMIN_NEIL NOTE: I’m tracking the weight-ins for the Light Heavyweight semis. If Prototype misses weight, word is the “Mafia” might sub in a mystery flyer from the Philippines. Keep your eyes on the scale! ]]